Tick Tock Goes the Old Nagging Clock

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I need someones opinion. I have published this little narrative at this one website and I am just currious what you Mylotters think about it. So here is the link if you don't mind clicking on it and reading it. Then let me know what you think about it. The title of my narrative is "Tick Tock Goes the Old Nagging Clock" and I wrote it after I was in my math class in college trying to take a test. Below is the link to my narrative: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1880722/tick_tock_goes_the_old_nagging_clock.html?ccat=10