WHY would an ex come back into your life????

United States
July 20, 2009 1:38am CST
Unfortunately i already typed this sito out and my internet tweaked, so i typed it in word and it wont let me copy/paste it! ugh! so here i go again.... im utterly confused by guys!! id really appreciate some feedback about my sito, its a little confusing for some to understand, so try to keep an open mind regarding the cultural aspects. in my culture our families do arranged marriages..so our parents introduce us to people and if we like the person great...things move on to get engaged and eventually marriage. family plays a huge rold in our culture, and some people so much that pushing and pulling for what they want isnt an option..unless you want to upset everyone etc. no one really wants to disrespect their parents, and that is a way of doing so...depending how traditional your family is. especially if your super close knit and work together. ok all that established heres my sito... my ex and i were set up bout our parents almost a year ago, and things were great between us. his parents had a problem with my sister marrying a guy of a different race and religion, which isnt really socially acceptable in our culture and most the time is accepted to save the family relationship, but its never really accepted. my sister got married but my parents werent ok with it and i havent seen her since i was a kid. we email and call and thats about it, but shes not really apart of my life besides that, and thats by her choice. anyhow, i know its like thats stupid etc, but unfortunately we fell in love with each other and wanted to get married. ive tried hard to move on and meet other people, and i still am...but so far nothings worked out. i met a lot of people before him too, and hes the only guy i cant be myself around and we get along like two peas in a pod... i like to think hes my soul mate, its an unexplainable connection that he agrees we have. about 5 months after we broke up, i had a lot of family drama and passings going on and i had a meltdown. no one was answering when i called and i ended up calling him, he picked up and was awesome about it all n told me to call him whenever i needed to. i sent a txt a couple days later sayin my aunt passed...the end the week he texted me condolences about her, which happened to be my bday, so he wished me as well. for the next month or so we were texting and calling here and there and i was really confused on why he would want to be friends with me...especially after our history... well eventually he brought up wanting to try to work things out again...of course i wanted to as well, but he thought it over and changed his mind because he was afraid it would be the situation as before with family and wed both get hurt again. he wanted to keep the friend thing going, i told him if he changed his mind about us to let me know and if im still single maybe thered be a chance for us. i made it clear i wasnt going to sit and wait on him as well, and i wasnt sure if i could handle being just friends with someone i still love. he understood. ok heres the odd part...its obvious that he wants to be with me but cuz family hes not. we finally hung out last weekend and he was acting like nothing changed with us, cuz we fell back into place from where we left off, the next day he was calling me and texting that he wants to see me soon cuz he misses me. we tried to meet up a couple days later, but he hadnt been txting or annything for most the week, so i finally asked what was up. he told me he thinks we text too much and hes afraid im going to get hurt again when he has to do another set up etc. i told him i realized all that weeks ago and thats why ive been holding my ground and that he shoulda just told me that instead of ignoring me..and left it at that and had no plans to talk to him unless he texted me. he texted that night n i got it 2 hrs later, replied but he didnt say anything back. i texted the next day and i still havent heard from him since.. i know its only been 3 days, but im just soooooo confuseddddddd! WHY would u come back into your ex's life, with that sorta history, and not be coming back to try and work things out to be together again??? btw, he doesnt want friends with benefits he made that clear, and i wont let it happen. he knows exactly where i stand on things and with us. what would u do in this sito??? keep tryin to meet other people, and if he come around great? thats what im doing right now, but i really would rather be with him! i just dont understand this..i know people say things happen for a reason, and i believe it...but i also believed if he came back into my life it be for things to work out..and it came up but now its like hes pushing me away...to spare me..or him... the pain. i dont get why he came back, its disappointing and upsetting..n will be more so if things dont change..but it sucks to know he wants to be with me n family is the issue..and our connection is just unexplainable...ughhh!!
1 response
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
Geez...I'm blur, but lemme try. If your family does regard family ties so much and your into the verge of getting married and as I can see you're an obedient child, why do you need to consider your ex? Why can't you fight over who you really love to and just explain to your parents the consequence?
• United States
20 Jul 09
Ive learned the hard way that i need to pick and choose my battles with my parents, and in the area of love and guys ive fought a battle before with them and in teh end they were actually right. however in this case, my parents DONT have a problem with the guy (they might a little now because we broke up etc but would get over it). Its my ex's parents with a problem, and if they dont give in then he wont move things forward for me... we tried it before and he tried to talk them into it etc but it didnt help. Now hes back 5 months later...still wants it... but is scared. So its kind of out of my hands... its on him to handle his parents... i just dont get why he came back if he wasnt going to work on things... and now i dont know what to do, contact him or not...let him be for a while... i just dont know what to do:/ but thanks for ur input, and i agree with u...love is something to stand up for and fight for... i just wish people realized it!