Is it okay to date a someone who is 10 years older than you. I'm 20, n he's 30.

United States
July 21, 2009 3:07pm CST
Okay soo.. He actually found me on myspace, and doesn't remember where or whatever. We live really close actually, just a city over. He's been txting me stuff like "when are you gonna come and watch a movie with me? We can just lay together? And some other *frisky* stuff. I told him that I just got out of a 5 year relationship, and that I'm not looking for a hookup or anything. And I'm not sure if he just wants to Fu*k me..yah know? But well with the txts...i'd say yea.. Anyways, he seems like a nice guy. But I'm kind of creeped out with the age factor, and him not knowing how he found me but decided to go ahead and add me on myspace. It's just...weird. So should I stop talking to him, before I get felt up into a situation I don't want to be in. Or just keep talking to him, but maybe meet in public places...like the movies or resturants??
4 people like this
39 responses
@kiiizu (1901)
• Estonia
21 Jul 09
It's nothing bad in dating somebody who is 10 years older... but your case is a bit different. You never know who can hide himself behind a myspace profile. Of course you can keep talking to him, but don't visit him. If he wants to meet you in public, in a restaurant - why not. Don't talk much about yourself, but let him talk as much as possible. That way you can find out who he really is. Make a people search online, if necessary. Let him meet your family and friends, and ask their opinion about him later. But never ever go to his place!
• India
22 Jul 09
Yes, I Totally agree with you .. Who Knows The Type of Man He is .. One thing for sure Never Go to Meet him .. Call Him Over And Make him Meet family And Friends .. What Kiizu says is Totally what I wanted to say Before reading her Post .. MyLot Does Get Funny Sometimes .. LoL ...
1 person likes this
@chelsit (105)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Age is nothing but a numeber honey, if you are attracted to that person, and you guys have a connection then go for it.
@mdvarghese (1789)
• Bangalore, India
22 Jul 09
In my opinion 10 years is not a big gap. But in your case you never met him. I would suggest you not to meet him alone even in restauants. Let him come and meet you at your home or in the presence of your friends. Try to understand what he wants and what type of man he is. If he is txts such stuffs, you should be very careful. I think you know from your experience, how the relations will grow and one day how it will disappear like bubbles. Wish you all the best
@imsilver (1668)
• Canada
21 Jul 09
Eeep. The whole situation sounds a little bit creepy to me. If you do meet him in real life; I'd definatly suggest that it be in a very public place for the first little while. Make sure that you are both on the same page about what you want out of a relationship before you take any major steps. It sounds like he's rushing things. If it was meant to be you'll work it out. As for the age thing; I don't think it matters at all really. My boyfriend is 11 years younger than I am. I found it an issue at first but came to realize that it really doesn't make a difference as long as you are both mature enough to deal with the relationship and each other.
2 people like this
@lizzrr (135)
21 Jul 09
"We can just lay together" he sounds like he's up for something. If I'm in your situation, I wouldn't go out anyone who is 3 years above older than me. That's just my opinion because I often find it creepy or weird to go out with someone who's older especially when I don't know the guy too well. If you ever want to meet up with him, it's best to go out with a friend ;)
2 people like this
• China
22 Jul 09
It seems that he wants something from you. But it doesn't matter to meet this guy if you really want to. But please don't go to an unsafe place. You may get hurt if you do that before you know this guy well. You just need some time to understand each other. I know you just got out of a relationship and you may want to find a new life. But don't rush. Just take it easy and treat it like a normal dating.
1 person likes this
@Elaine77 (315)
• China
24 Jul 09
Yea, that's the point.
• United States
23 Jul 09
I would not trust someone I met online. Especially if they were sending me messages like that. A lot of pereditors lure women online. Plus he most likely has done this before. You can be anything online! Always remember that! I would be very cautious if you chose to keep talking with him. Remember to listen to your gut instinct. Many people ignore their gut instinct and then something happens. I fugured out a long time agoe. 9 times out of 10 mine is usually right. I would never meet him alone. I would be in public and take someone with me. I know some people think that may be a bit over-doing it but we all watch the news and we all know what can happen. On a different note. I dated a guy 10 years older then me when I was about 24. He seemed to be in a different stage of his life then where I was. Plus he treated me like I was nieve and in-experienced at life becuase of the fact he was older and had more experiences and had been out on his own longer. After a while that took a toll. I felt my opinions mattered too. It was just too conflicting! We went our seperate ways. My mom and dad were 15 years apart. Their marriage ended up in a blow out. He was controling and more fatherly. They always fought! I am not saying it is impossible to have a relationship with that age gap. But I think relationships are hard anyway. Now you are adding another factor that might conflict with it. I would think about it before I did it. If you do decide to try it just be careful and understand their might be some problems due to the age gap. That is the best advice I can give on the situation at hand. Just be careful;-)
1 person likes this
@delrene (158)
• Philippines
23 Jul 09
nothings wrong with someone 10 years older than you but somethings wrong with this guy. "we can just lay together?", "frisky stuff?" going out with him alone, i think it is not a good idea after all. and you might just stop having a communication with him. i know its rude but its for your safety after all. hope this one helps.
1 person likes this
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
23 Jul 09
The problem with dating someone that much older than you at your age is baggage. What kind of baggage is this man bringing to the relationship? Could it be children, ex wives etc. You got to understand he has lived a little, you haven't. If you really want to go through with this relationship though TAKE IT SLOW. Know the warning signs. Make sure he is with you for you and not just because he wanted to impress or make someone mad with a younger woman.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 09
I use to date a guy who was 10 years older than me. I found out that they are good at telling lies. He laid me on while he was messing with another girl. We date for awhile and we moved in together. Then one day he started acting weird and coming home late. I knew all the passwords and I entered his account and found pictures of her and him a couple day prior. So I sent him on his way and said that I needed better in my life.
1 person likes this
• China
22 Jul 09
hi,classicelfryoko i think the age is not the problem. my grandpa is just ten years older than my grandmya. the key is how much u know each other. i wont easily go out with someone i dont know very well. from some his words, i'm afraid he is not a so serious guy. ok, everything is in ur control. but just be careful, ok? good luck!
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jul 09
its just a thing of personal matter.sometimes we do and also should what our heart sys in this sort of matters.all ican say to you after reading your comment is that there is no problem having some time spent with him at movies or restaurants.but do take care that he does not crosses the limits and tries to get very physical.you should first try to find out that whether he is a cheator is he a good guy.as u already had a break up recently,its better that u take necessary precautions so that u don;t again land up in that situation again.have a good day
1 person likes this
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
First there is totally nothing wrong with your ages. He is older by 10 years and that is ok for me. However, meeting him personally if you feel a little edgy, it seems not a good idea. Try to listen to what you are feeling. They could mean something. Talking to him by texting, or e-mail is ok. But personally, I guess it is better if you defer it for a little more time until you feel no apprehension about it.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Jul 09
Yes it is ok to date someone 10 years older then you but if you don't feel confortable about the person like I believe you are feeling don't go forward with it.
1 person likes this
@cabz360 (41)
• United States
22 Jul 09
there's nothing wrong with that..I think age is one of the least things to seriously consider when dating...I know people, friends and reltives, who are together and even married, and they seem to hve good on going relationships...if you like the person, then just go ahead, date, and get to know that person more...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
who cares if he's 20 years older?as long as you two get along and he cares for you so much,then go ahead and date.before doing something intimate,get to know him first.go our on dates,be it watching movies or dining out in restaurants.any other place other than the bedroom.if he is really a nice guy he will respect your boundaries.
1 person likes this
@doormouse (4619)
22 Jul 09
of cors it's ok to date someone older than you,my boyfriend is 24 yrs older than me,i'm 32 and he's 56,we've been together 5 yrs and couldn't be happier..some people look at us a bit funny sometimes but that's there problem
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
hi classice I was 21 when i met my husband who was 31 .. It is kind of difficult for me though because we were also affected by generation gap .. My husband was 2nd generation while I was 3rd generation (In my country) - My husband had nieces from my generation) My parents were educated and my brothers and myself were graduates in our generation while on his side, his brothers and sisters only managed high school, Only his nieces are now graduates ... But we have managed well as our relationship was for 14 years before getting committed into marriage .. By that time, i have grown up alot and managed to adjust my life style to his ... At times, it was difficult as I have to "step back" 1 generation to satisfy them ... No matter what we have been married for 3 years now and are successful in marriage, owing it to him at times as he is tolerent towards my tantrums cheers
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
Hmmm.. He sounds weird yes he is! He seems like he's just looking for a one night stand to me. Its not safe to meet a stranger specially if you just met him through social networking sites. There are lots of harmful people through social networking sites, he might be someone you didn't expect. Worst you might get yourself into trouble. There's nothing wrong to date a man more older than you, my husband is 18 years older than me but we were friends before we got together as partners. This man, you don't know him that well to easily trust and see him. I suggest to know him more first and think harder before making any decisions of meeting him.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 09
The problem with this situation is not the age difference--it's the way you "met" this person. You don't know how he found you--why doesn't he tell you? Big red flag right there! Also, no one who wants a nice regular dating relationship says things like "we can just lay together" about the first time you two are together! Stay away!!!