Why do people try to change other people?

India
July 26, 2009 4:52am CST
I think it has a lot to do with selfishness , conceit, arrogance, and cowardice. They either think way too much of themselves and wish that others were more like themselves or they have such low self-esteem that they feel "powerful" by dictating what others are and do.
2 people like this
8 responses
• India
25 Jan 10
Different are thinking of everyone , no one has same thinking as god has made everyone equal but with different think tank that although might be equal but different when individuals use them. The individuals think that they are greater from others as they are more arrogant of so. Thinking of them is not good as such they consider them more supreme and intelligent than others.
• India
27 Jul 09
I think some people try to change others because they're not happy with themselves. So, if they can't change themselves due to an inability to do so or because they just refuse to change,they try to change their lover or their friends.
• Brisbane, Australia
26 Jul 09
Generally people want to prove themselves the best either by their own attitude/ behavior or by giving unwanted advices to others to ensure how much they care and think about others. Good people will advice you for your better outcome without showing ME factor. But there are many people who can not change/ improve themselves much and so they try to see/ apply some tips on others to see or check that am I the only one who can not adapt this good thing in me or there are other too! Some people can not adjust or tolerate other people's qualities like anger, behavior, habits etc and so they keep telling them and they even scold them for it.
@ucue2008 (926)
• Malaysia
26 Jul 09
Like you say, it has to do with selfishness etc, but it can also because that they wanted to help, so they suggest for that particular person to change his or her attitude. As long as it towards something good, its ok to listen to it and maybe to do it. Sometimes people do it out of pity and love too.
• Indonesia
26 Jul 09
In some ways, I think this changing other people into like is also a positive thing. Of course, as long as we have good characters inside us. Paul the Apostle of Jesus Christ even said 'imitate me as I imitate Jesus'. So, Paul has become someone who told other people to be like him and Paul himself already lived like Jesus. Paul dared to say this, I believe because he already know - and not only know, but also do - how to live in the life that God wants everybody to live. To share love, kindness, goodness, etc. But of course, in another way, this one can give a really bad effect if we don't have good characters and then push people to live like us. Correct ourselves first before we can correct others' life.
• Indonesia
26 Jul 09
I think everybody wanna be understood by other people. When other people do something that we don't like we will feel uncomfortable. Some people can accept it and others can't. Those who can't will try to change other people, they wanna everything work as they like, while in the real life everything not always go as we want. Or, these people too ambitious to get their goal in life and thus they hope other people won't disturb them. I think we, human, is unique. we can't push someone to be as what we like. If you wanna be understood by other people then try to understand and accept other people first. but there's differences between change other people and hope other people to be a better person. for example a boyfriend who push his gf to have long hair (it's change other people because he wanna make his gf 'beautiful' based on his criteria)and parents who hope their child to study hard (it's positive because the parents hope this child to be a better person in the future by study).. That's my opinion.. thank you.
• India
26 Jul 09
Yep true....but sometimes it is also because they genuinely care about the other person and want them not to come to any harm. There's nothing wrong with a sharing of wisdom, it doesn't make one better than the other, but obviously it depends on the way it's is presented, out of love or subtle arrogance etc?
@srganesh (6349)
• India
26 Jul 09
Everybody thinks he is the only right person and he wants to have relation with like people alone.So,he wants to change others to tune with him,without which he feels less comfortable.This is the basic.And it is true,some powerful authorities want their subordinates exactly as they need.What they need is flexibility and not change in them.Cheers!