Which one is harder, to live without a father or without a mother?

parents - a picture showing parents
Philippines
August 3, 2009 7:01pm CST
Hi everyone, I just wanted to ask you which one do you think would be harder. TO live a life without a father or a life without a mother. I have been blessed with great parents. I am thankful also that they have taught me well. I just can't express what will happen to me if they were not around. It must have been difficult i guess if one of them is not around. How about you? Is having complete parents means you will take life easily or not? I would like to hear your stories, since most mylotters here have lost their mom or their dad, or worse is a mom or a dad left them for another one.
3 people like this
16 responses
@doggyhouz (548)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Very strong assumption when you say "since most mylotters HERE have lost their mom or their dad". You probably didn't mean to be so judgemental since you had two parents to teach you that stuff. I grew up with just a father. From my experience people that have two parents are just like you. Lovely speakers and like to be judgemental and believe that it is the right cause. I see no wrong in that but it is obvious it offend some people. Now I don't think it is the matter of a FATHER or MOTHER. It is the parenting that is more important. Some responses here speak about being fostered and probably had great foster parents which proves that it isn't the fact a mother or father is present. I too had a mother that left me and my two older sibilings when I was born. The problem today is that people believe that all you need is two people to split the responsibilities. But if they aren't ready for it, it can define your childs future. I believe the ones that went off course are the ones that are taught to forcefully without making their own logical choices. We are born the way we are but not define how we are made. We define ourselves with the wrinkles on our faces and the curves around our belly. We are judged reguardless but to assume that we need simple words like father and mother is wrong. Parenting is what we need to learn to value and understand not the need for something there or a WANT or something that must be there. God bless
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
You are right in that point. Parenting is much important. I grew up with my grandparents and i sleep with them at night. My mother is there too, and i live with here at day time. I have n chance to be with my father since i was born. When my grandparents passed away i live with my mother day and night. It is not too hard to live with one parent and it depend on how the single parent will bring you up and raise you. There are times that i am longing for my grandparents but i am also used to be with my mother. Being a single parent to us for her is difficult but she was capable of handling us.
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
@ Doggyhouz- Okey, lets say i need to use the word "ASSUMING", geeze, not all sentence is perfect, so sorry if I miss that word. I have nothing against being judgmental here. I was asking people if what do they think is difficult. Anyway, i agree with you with regards to parenting. It depends on how your parents brought you up, be it a mom or a dad. But sometimes, we can't open up that easily to dad specially for ladies. Well that depends again of the closeness and bonding. Anyway, thanks for your response. Happy Mylotting.
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I have had the experience of growing up without a father. It is rough. I though would feel it would be harder to grow up without my mother. She was there for so much and I can't imagine me pulling through all these years without her there by me supporting me the whole time. I did feel the pain and burden of growing up without my father there for me but I wouldn't of changed it around for nothing.
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Sorry to hear that. But we will still be thankful that we have a parent who was there for us. Happy Mylotting.
• India
4 Aug 09
thats a very nice one......but tough one...its very very hard to tell that who is important in our live..... but this thing i can tell that both make life a living heaven..if you are deprived of mothers love, u will be not be compleat in nature.you have to be have both the entity in your life to success....so for me its both equally important............no choose or choice
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
yes we do needed both to survive. Thanks for your response.
• India
4 Aug 09
Life is harder without father! Mother, ofcourse tries to see that she plays both the roles. I know how the feeling will be when you dont have father, as I have lost my father when I was one year old. The greatest pain is financial loss/pressure, the whole family undergoes. The amount of sacrifies that you have to make everywhere. The clothes you wear, the type of education, the life style.... everywhere you need to sacrifice, because you cannot make your mother slog for all these comforts, neither you dont want your mother to feel bad about it. Blessed are those who have parents(mother and father) I could not help sharing my feelings sree www.studentguide.co.in
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
I sympathize on what you feel. It is really difficult to live a life without both parents to be there for us.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
4 Aug 09
It's a difficult choice. I am blessed and my heart goes out to all those who have lost either of their parents. As to your discussion, I think, its subjective and we cannot tell for sure. PS: I checked your blog and find it to be beautiful It has a pretty face. I have subscribed.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Yes parents are important in our life. Thanks for following. I'd be following you too. Happy Mylotting.
• India
4 Aug 09
i think in every situation is is very difficult to go. without mother emotional factor will chase a lot and without father tuff ness, guidence , support, financial etc. will going to effect a lot. According to me both should be there to hold the hands of a child, otherwise in this case it is like to just drag the lives will be possible.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
yes, very true, each one is unique in character building and influence. But both are indispensable.
@shimanaja (495)
• Indonesia
4 Aug 09
If you asked which one is harder, to live without a father or without a mother? So the answer is both of them...i don't how can i live without them..i will sad if i lose one of them. Yes it's very difficult to me to think one of them is not arround. Thanks God my parents still alive with good healthiness. Hope they still alive more longer, seeing their grandchild born and grow up.
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
Yes, that is my wish too, to see both my parents to live longer as they will see their grand children too. Happy Mylotting.
@janebeth (2034)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
i can't live without a mother, mother's knows best.. but i also love my father...!! two of them is all i need in my life..!!
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
yes, i agree with you. Happy Mylotting.
@osris61 (107)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Hi, For me I must say growing up without a Mother is hard. I lost my Mother when I was 3 years old. I went to live with my Grandparents who were very good to me. My Dad remarried when I was 8 and then my life turned into a nightmare. My Stepmother was very abusive and my Dad was never around to stop it. For 10 years I was abused!! The day I turned 18, I left and never looked back.
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
I am sorry to hear about your bitter experience about not having a mom. It is really difficult to face life without both parents. And your step mom wasn't nice to you also, just like most stories, some step moms aren't good to their step kids.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
It is better of course to live with both parents. You are lucky that they're still with you. In my case, I used to live mostly only with my mother. Because when I was at a very young age, when I was still a child, my father started to work abroad and he only going back home every two years for only a one or two months stay. That's why I have not been closed with my father. But after he retired from work he had spent a time with us for several years, but unfortunately he already passed away due to sickness. I am living now only with my mother. So for me, I can say that it will be harder if we will live only with our father. Both are important but for me, I will choose to live with my mother than my father. Mother is more loving and caring, and I can tell my problems more with my mother. Maybe that is because I am closer to my mother than my father. I know it will be a different situation with other people. Happy myLotting!
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
Thanks for that response. So you are a mamas boy, just kidding. Well, i guess that Mothers really are much more dear to us when it comes to personal problems, we can ask them easily. But having both parents is much better right. Even if our father sacrifice also for us since he is working hard. Happy Mylotting.
@jimmy87 (475)
• India
4 Aug 09
According to me both are indispensable for a child's proper and healthy growth.I am blessed that I have both my parents,but I really feel for those who have lost one or the other or have left them for others.I can't imagine life without my parents. They both help me in different aspects of life,as they have excelled in different fields.So,I am able to have both their points of views and act accordingly to that particular situation..
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
yes, you are right. Both are irreplaceable. It would be difficult if each one is not there to take care of us.
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Both is hard to live without the other one. As a family cannot be complete without their loving presence. Sad to say, but, it is a fact of life that a loved ones must be departed because of illnesses or any unforeseen events which may test the strength of a family. To lose a mother is difficult, as i am already develop my closeness to her and tell her all my happiness and troubles. Mother motherly loving care is unmatched by any love as she is the instrument who gives birth to a child. Without her this world would be dull. In case of a father, is also a great loss, especially if he is the breadwinner of the family. it is very hard to cope out if all depend on him financially. Also, his fatherly loves and protection for his sons and daughters will greatly miss. If ever this happen, the family members need to start from scratch and learn to make an effort to feed themselves by working. If the children still young it may be hard for the mother to explain and all the children are all adults. It may be hard to accept its loss at first but eventually family will learn to move and start a new life adjusting to the changes, this will keep family bonding based on love, understanding, cooperation and faith to begin new journey..
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
yes i think so too, a motherly love is really different and incomparable. We women can open up on our own mom rather than our dads, but that is depending upon your closeness. Some people are close with their dads too. But both are real treasures for me.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Though the love of parents maybe equal for the children, I think it's much harder to live without a mother. The mother could find a job to support the children and at the same time take good care of them. There are few fathers who do the same but mostly gets married again to have a woman to as much as possible take care of the children but sometimes worst things happened instead, the woman indefferrently treated the children.
@SHAMRACK (8532)
• India
6 Aug 09
Dear friend, I could see that any one among them if posses a good relationship with thir childern may be that child likes that person. Sometimes father may be rude and strict and child may like smooth mother and in the case of where mother is cruel and rude the child likes father. Hence I feel it depends how well one among the parents treats their child.
@doormouse (4619)
4 Aug 09
i guess it depends which one you're closer to,but it would be hard to live without either of them,unless you've never met or had a crappy parent,,my parents are great even though my dad left when i was 4,i'm still close to him but i'm closer to my mum,where as my kids dad left when they where toddlers,and have had hardly any contact with him in 10 yrs,he got in contact a couple of weeks ago,and the kids don't want to see him,they're quite happy without him
@venshida (4837)
• United States
4 Aug 09
It has to be a mother. You have better life with both parents, but there is something about mothers. My dad was not around, and he was not much so I will have to side with mothers.