August 12, 2009 5:50am CST
I realized something extraordinary this morning. As I was sitting on the toilet and turned around to flush, I lost my balance and fell down the bowl. Obviously I got flushed down and briefly saw my life in front of my eyes. But instead of ending up in the sewers as I expected and feared, I landed on the ground in a desert. The sky was a delicate shade of pink and the sun shone dimly. Once dry, I just had to concentrate to locate the vibrations of my own dimension and transfer myself back. My loo is the getaway to Mars.