do you find your self worth it for your husband/wife?
By acie_21
@acie_21 (5633)
Philippines
August 12, 2009 10:35am CST
me...i dont know,i think im not.in my age 21 is too young and i want to know and learn more about married life...i feel down and sometimes think im not worth it for my husband..i cant give what he wants like cooking good food,giving a baby in my early age..i am still not ready to have kids..and im scared.i feel hurt that i sometimes think that he better find another woman or choose another woman not me..for i am not worth for him.someone does...i want to be a better wife,a good wife..its easy to say but hard to do..i often wonder does my husband loves me still..is he still happy with me?i want to go far and let him be free..making him choose to be single again..or to marry other woman..just to make him happy...it would be fine with me..i feel lonely cause i think i dont know how to be a better wife for him..how about you?do you feel the same way too?
what you think?
waiting for your comments!
take care!
5 responses
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 09
hi acie ..
firstly ... ask him directly on this issues as the more the matter is highlighted and discussed the more problem will be solved
about kids ... love dont regret later, like me i want kids and it is difficult due to age
cheers
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 09
hi acie
i met my husband when i was 21, i had alot of demands from him, i fought with him lots for him to spend time with me more .. he used to spend lots of time at work (he enjoyed it) then with his frinds (hanging out at the pubs ) for eight long years we fought but our love was still there off course at times we were near to split but our committment to each other made us stay together (we were not married )
at the age of 29 i actually "matured" as i left him to do what he wanted and i flew from my own cage and started to enjoy my times alone .. my career became demanding at the same time, i was advancing in my job ..
Now after 13 years we are married ... it does not bother me if he is home late as we have a understanding that if he is out with his friends only ... we agreed that for whatever reasons, if there is another person ... it has to be highlighted otherwise our individual life can still go on ..
we stopped fighting for the last 7 years, but we do argue on the 'remote control' and the 'laptop'
cheers
@acie_21 (5633)
• Philippines
13 Aug 09
you are married longer than i..so you had lots of experience already..and i..still going there in that stage..i still have lot of challenges to face for i am still young and new in marriage life..
thank you sanjana for sharing your experience and for sharing your thoughts about my discussion..makes my mind widen about real life marriage..
thanks friend!
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
12 Aug 09
hey girl! what's this? why are you thinking this way? hey don't be like that...
you are still young and you can still improve...you can still learn...and having a baby, it will come...you're still young my friend!
i know for sure that your husband loves you very much and he accepted you for who you are...
okay, when we are newly wed, i also have those things in my mind...even up to now sometimes...hehehe but what i just do is try to improve myself and be open for changes...
my friend, don't feel that way, its not healthy! cheer up and just do your best to be a good wife...take care of him, you can learn cooking in time...and i know he's happy with you...
@acie_21 (5633)
• Philippines
13 Aug 09
heheheh!thanks bestfriend..though i know how to cook but not the best of it..just comes through my mind..how i often think and wonder if i can able to be/to do the best of it.easy to say i could be a "good wife"but makes me think twice "how"...
thanks for posting
friendship!
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
12 Aug 09
I think you shouldnt worry as much! I mean absolutly no offence in this btw! To me, you sound like a great person - clearly very careing if you want to please him so much and look after him and things! If he truely loves you then it wont matter if you arnt the best cook in the world, or not ready for children yet. Youre right - you are still very young! We dont all know these things, or feel ready to do things. If he leaves you because you arnt "A good enough wife" then quite frankly, he doesnt deserve you! You should both be treating each other equally anyway, in my oppinion. Shareing tasks like cooking (i know mostly the woman do cook though! i probably would if i was married!) The point im trying to make is, do you think he worrys about whether he is a good enough husband? If you are very worried though, maybe you should talk to him about it! Discuss things that are worrying both of you! Maybe go on a cookery course or something, just so you feel better about yourself! You should make yourself happy first! And worry about him after!
@acie_21 (5633)
• Philippines
13 Aug 09
thanks friend thats a relief..thanks for posting..i know that my husband loves me so and i love him too.im a type of person who worries so much if i did the right thing in my life..if i was able to be a good wife for my husband...thinking what will i be 10 years from now..if i would be a good mom and a good wife..though im happy in my married life seeing my performance makes me feel im not worth it..im scared to deal/face bigger problems in my life.. though im not alone,i was just wondering what will happen to me in the future..
thanks for the comment
friend!
@mdghoston (20)
• United States
12 Aug 09
i understand where you are coming from..just a lil'different i'm in a position.where i want diff. and i feel like i'm worth more and just want to try new and diff people. but if ur better half hasn't said nothing abouth your worth to him don't worry about it love yourself just as much as he loves you
