Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Well...Have you?

@paula27661 (15899)
Australia
August 14, 2009 11:10pm CST
I received this in an email the other day and although many of you have probably already seen it, I wanted to share it anyway because it is well written, very funny and true! It is a real letter sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT PLAGIARISED. It is PC Magazine's 2007 editors’ choice for best webmail-award-winning letter and was penned by a Wendi Aarons of Austin, TX. [i]“Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body... Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong' Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh1t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. . . Best, Wendi Aarons Austin, TX”[/i]
4 people like this
12 responses
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
18 Aug 09
wow... hahaha... this one is really good. i love it, and yeah definitely right, what's happy with having a monthly period, im in pain most of the time. . this is the first time i have seen this letter, thanks for sharing, had a good laugh here. WAY TO GO WENDI!!!
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
18 Aug 09
Wendi is a hero alright! This one was too good not to share! Thanks for reading it and responding jayrene, I appreciate it.
@ellie333 (21029)
17 Aug 09
Hi Paula, That made me giggle and I totaly agree that Mr. Thatcher has no understanding of what women have to go through each and every month. I am a very lucky woman in that since an accident years ago I do not have periods period yippee but do remember the time when I could have quite easily slit someones throat each month although a distant memory now and me such a passive person usually. Thank you for sharing. Huggles. Ellie :D
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
18 Aug 09
Mr Thatcher may have more of an idea now, I think! I would have loved to have seen his reaction when he first read the letter! I have not had very bad PMS but the experience has not exactly been pleasant every month and that certainly affected my mood! Thanks for the response ellie!
@dreamr802 (987)
• United States
15 Aug 09
Haha, well I have never read that email or article before. It is very well written and I liked it a lot. It definitely made me laugh.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Aug 09
I thought it was very well done and funny too, thanks for reading dreamr802!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
Hi Paula! It makes an interesting read, how I cannot much on this topic because the matter relates to entirely to girls/women.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
pl. read - 'however' instead of 'how'.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
Oops! Pl. read - However, I cannot add much to the topic...........
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
17 Aug 09
Thanks for taking the time to read it deepak, I thought it was very clever, funny and true!
• United States
16 Aug 09
I love this, it clearly demonstrates to men just how we are feeling during that time of the month. She couldn't have worded it any better than she did. I don't get cramps but a get a load of hormones that makes me an emotional roller coaster and a flow that lasts 7 days. My boyfriend refers to me as his bipolar girlfriend during that time. I wish I could just bury myself in a hole and wait for it to pass. And I agree there is no such thing as a happy period.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
17 Aug 09
I have never had a 'happy period' there is nothing happy about that time of the month and Ms Wendy describes the symptoms very adequately, she has done a fine job, the letter is funny and well written! Thanks for taking the time to read it dance4life!
• United States
19 Aug 09
I actually had my boyfriend read the letter too. He didn't find it as amusing as I did, but that was not the point of showing it to him. I wanted him to know exactly how I feel during that week when he's calling me bipolar. Thank you Ms Wendi
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
16 Aug 09
Shoot I read this and started laughing halfway through and woke my husband up I couldn't stop laughing as I read more. I know exactly how she feels..I hadn't read it before. So thanks for sharing it with those who didn't know it's existence. I am surprised they didn't make a comedy skit on it on Saturday Night Live or one of the other comedy sites like Mad TV.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Aug 09
I think Mr Thatcher will not forget this correspondence in a hurry! Isn't it clever and hilarious? I say good on you Wendy! Thanks for taking the time to read it mtdewgurl!
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
17 Aug 09
Nope no doubt he won't forget a letter such as that ever.. and your welcome.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I've never seen this before and boy did I laugh while reading it!! It is the honest to God's truth if I ever saw one!! Way to go Wendi Aarons!! LMBO!! Thank goodness for having a hysterectomy when I did for I couldn't be more happier!! LOL
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
12 Sep 09
It's funny isn't it? And so darn true! Wendi is my new hero! (LOL) Glad you enjoyed it Cats!
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
21 Aug 09
ROFLMBO!! I've never seen this before but I got to laughing so hard that I couldn't see the screen!! Holy Cow!! There's so much truth to it and yes, very well written but oh so funny!! Way to go Wendi Aarons!! Way to go!!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
21 Aug 09
Yes, I have decided Wendi is my hero now! (LOL) Thanks for taking the time to read it Cats!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Aug 09
I love it! I am totally gonna snag this and forward it to a bunch of my female friend who will certainly get a kick out of it! Thanks for posting something that can make us all laugh a little about something that can be quite unpleasant for many of us gals!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
18 Aug 09
I couldn't stop laughing when I first read it and wanted to pat the author on the back! It thought it was funny but I sure related to it. I think Mr Thatcher may be more educated now! Thanks fruitcakeliz, hope your friends enjoy it too!
@savypat (20246)
• United States
15 Aug 09
Go Wendi Aarons!
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Aug 09
"...What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period?" Yeah for Wendy! Thanks for stopping by pat!
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
15 Aug 09
Hahahahahahahaha, LOVE IT! This is my kind of humour for sure and no wonder they chose this as the winner! If I was the Brand Manager that received this letter/email, I'd have it framed and put it up on my office wall! lol.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Aug 09
Wendy is a legend allright! Thanks for reading it guys!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
15 Aug 09
Heyya paula! That's awesome. Thanks for sharing it..I needed a good laugh.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Aug 09
It is funny isn't it? Sadly it is all too true! I love the line, "...America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants..." Thanks for reading Jen!