Living with an Ex

@zoey7879 (3104)
United States
August 17, 2009 9:10am CST
I live with my ex boyfriend. We have an 8 year old child together, and we ended our relationship about five years ago. We each date and have relationships with others, but we still share paying the bills, the apartment, and caring for our daughter. When we initially separated, I moved with my daughter over 600 miles away to begin a new life. I found that maintaining two jobs, the driving distance for my child care and work (over 30 miles per day) was draining me not only physically but financially. Her father was unable to find work where he was living which made him unable to pay child support. So I invited him under certain agreements to move into my new home with me... This way there is always a parent home for her, no cost of travel to/from and paying for child care, not having to worry about child support being received. However, some people think that this arrangement is very strange or bad. Has anyone else ever been in this type of situation?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@pushkin69 (546)
17 Aug 09
I carried on living with my ex for a while after we broke up. It was ok for a while but became too complicated as I was wanting to move on and establish new relationships but found this was restricted due to the living arrangements. For me I found that i hadnt completely broken away and allowed myself to get over and move on from the relationship. Granted for me it was easier to move away as we had no children etc....I can see the benefits in your situation but is it at a cost to your personal happiness? Is it easy for you to move on with your own life with your ex living in the same house? I wish you luck.
1 person likes this
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
17 Aug 09
My daughter's happiness and ensured future are invaluable. If someone doesn't want to date me because I live with my ex, they can take a walk off the plank - especially if they have no desire to be around for the long haul anyway. If I had somewhere else to live and someone to help me with things that have to be done and to care for her. If they're not going to offer up to help with that or want to start a life with me, to hell with them. My daughter comes first. Period. If I didn't have my daughter, I definitely wouldn't be sharing space with him.. Honestly, I hate it about 85-90% of the time. However, if we didn't live together, he would end up having to pay child support, having to take a second job for child support, and then really wouldn't have any time to spend with her.
@Aylward (199)
• Philippines
17 Aug 09
I haven't been in that situation, but hey, let's get practical. If that's the only way you can live or perform your responsibilities with your child, then why not. Your child is more important than to what will other will say.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
17 Aug 09
Aye.. that's why we do it. Not to mention that my daughter become severely depressed.. She was two turning three at the time. What really killed me besides seeing her depressed is when she started crying saying "Daddy doesnt love me, he ran away" and she was inconsolable, as well as when she was talking to him once on an older model cordless phone (so it had a long antenna), she was talking to him as if he WERE the phone. I remember her petting the antenna saying "Daddy your ear got big".. omg I felt so horrible. People say that kids get over it, but that's not always the case. Seeing a two year old depressed is one of the worst things I've had to experience.
@jugsjugs (13045)
19 Aug 09
I think it is great that you both still can live together as well as have a life of your own each it would be nice if alot of people with children could do this as that way the children would never suffer from a relationship of their parents splitting up.I dont see any problem in it at all it is a shame that some people judge others.I do not know anyone who has done this but it is great to know it can work out well.
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
18 Aug 09
No I have not, but if it is working out for the two of you, I say go for it.
• United States
17 Aug 09
hmmmm i never been in that sichuation but its not new though if i was i have to realy trust that person even if its my ex cus i keep hearing storys of people that do that and the father ended up takeing advage of the child so i don't know i don't want to freak up out but thats something also to think about just make sure to trust him realy well to do that.