What is left after the passion gone?

Indonesia
August 19, 2009 9:34pm CST
Once, I met my friend. She told me that her husband was sick badly almost two years. He couldn't make love anymore because of his sickness. She looked depressed because of this. She is thinking about to get divorce but on the other hand she still loves him. What should she do then? I suggest her to stay in married relationship but then I thought that I am cruel to ask her to tie herself in the marriage which cannot give her happiness and she is still young. On the other hand, I feel so sorry for her husband.
3 people like this
11 responses
• United States
20 Aug 09
It really depends on if they truly love each other or not. If she loves her husband than why is she thinking about dumping him in his time of need. It's not real love if they can't make it through tough times. There is more than one way to make love with a person, she could figure it out. I truly love my husband and can't even comprehend the idea of leaving him because we couldn't sleep together anymore, just so that I could go and do it with some other guy. I am so grateful for my own trials in life, but this couple needs to work through it together, unless there really wasn't love in the first place.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Aug 09
Marriage is not all about bed of roses. In this situation, it will help your friend realize what she really want and needs to do. If she really love her husband, she'll stay. marrying someone is a lifetime commitment,and its not all about making love with her husband. I believe that her husband needs her more than anyone, if i were her I'll stay.
@blueunicorn (2410)
• United States
20 Aug 09
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but to get divorced for this reason is stupid. If this is an otherwise healthy marriage, I am not sure why this woman would get divorced. What is the meaning of the vows we take when we marry? Do they not say in sickness and in health? Please, there are other ways to show physical love than to make love in the traditional way. Is she pleasing him as much as she can? I'm sorry, stories like this really make me frustrated. I don't think we, as a society, know how to keep promises anymore and to work out problems.
• India
20 Aug 09
this is really a very pathetic situation and feel if was in situation what i would expect from my wife. well i riani i have strong feeling that if your friend loves her husband from deep of her heart she ll never leave him in any situation. She was with her husband in good times and she should be in the bad time too. this just my suggestion for a true heart and love between partners. if she shows the real love i am 100% sure she can get her husband back to normal life and get back to passion. If this happens they ll be the best and happiest couple till their life ends.
@dawnald (84155)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Aug 09
That is very sad. Is it an illness that he is going to recover from? Only she can decide what to do for herself, but will she be able to live with herself if she leaves him for something that he can't help? The marriage vows do say "in sickness and in health", so I hope she's thinking it over very, very carefully.
@Robin114 (23)
• United States
20 Aug 09
Yes this is a hard one, makes me wonder how sick he is, is it something he can over come in time, I know she is young and have needs, but wow, I feel bad for her hubby as well as her, would need a little more info, I would not walk away from a sick spouse not if I truly loved him, not really sure what to say about this one, really hard I hope things work out well for them.
@bmuchler (442)
• United States
20 Aug 09
This is a tough one. It is so aweful when a spouse/partner becomes sick. She should stay with him. The marriage vows say in sickness and in health. One of my mom's friends, her daughter was married to a wonderful man. Hard working. Loving husband and father. He developed Lou Gerig's Disease. The last five years of his life were spent with adaptive equipment around the home and to to have a hospital bed. I remember my mom telling me that he was getting worse and worse. She stayed with him until the end. If you don't mind my asking, What does he have?
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
as long as you two love each other..i think that's enough already. it's her choice to get divorce if she wants to anyways. i don't really know what to say but if she does that it would really be unfair to the husband
@shimanaja (495)
• Indonesia
20 Aug 09
Ow, I'm sorry for her.. But as a good wife, your friend has to be with her husband, especially in this situation. I think it's such a test for her loyalty as a wife. Now..if your friend at her husband position, is she want to be leaving for another ?
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
she should'n leave her husband for that reason (making love) alone... if she really and still truly loves her husband making love wont be any problem, you didnt love the man your with bec. he made love to you..you love the man bec. of his whole self and how he treated you. my husband itself is crippled after an accident in his workplace. but i didnt leave him because he cant anymore make love to me, or treat me the way he treated me before...i loved him complete and now i still love him even if he says his incomplete...i dont see him incomplete...i still see him the way he is when i feel inlove with him. and so as marriage..its not about makinglove and not having its companionship and love.
• United States
20 Aug 09
Wow, but if she really loved him, she would stay with him. I've seen partners becoming handicapped because of tragic accidents in their life and their partners stand by them and love them. But if she isn't happy, maybe she should talk to him.. or maybe leave to find happiness in her life. She really needs to think about it.