Bridal party drama

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I am a sorority sister so my sister drama typically includes not one, two or three sisters like most families but thirty or forty. That said, one of my sisters, Nicole, just got engaged and asked me to be a Bride's Maid. Another of my sisters, Annie, just asked me if Nicole had told me her news and asked who I thought she'd ask to be in her party..... Which told me that, even though they are close, Nicole didn't ask Annie and Annie didn't know that she had asked me. So now I'm in a position to possibly upset Annie because she didn't get asked and I did. I'd like to be excited and tell Annie, "I know I'm going to be in it," but that's not how it works in the World of Woman. Why do women make such a big deal about who gets to be in the bridal party and who doesn't? With men, if Joe is close to Steve and John but has to choose between then for one reason or another (budget or whatever) and chooses to ask Steve, John says, "no worries, man, it's your choice," and buys both of them a beer. Replace Joe, Steve, and John with Mary, Sue and Ann and the fur flies like crazy.