He loves me - He loves me not!!!

@dbabcook (389)
United States
September 5, 2009 9:27pm CST
This is an advice discussion. Have any of you ever been in a relationship in which you had fallen in love with your partner to have them tell you that they are not in love with you? I have known this man for over 2 years and we have been dating and living together for over 1-1/2 years. I have fallen in love with him and by mistake I told him so just to have him tell me that he wasn't in love with me and that he didn't know that he ever would. He has great trust issues due to the women of his past relationships. He tells me that he trusts me with his vehicles, children, money and his life but that he doesn't trust me completely. But that he does trust me more than he trusts anyone else. He states that he feels that if I become vulnerable that I could potentially cheat on him. I have had many of situations in this relationship that have made me feel very vulnerable and yet I have not cheated as that is not how I am. I have gone out of my way to try and prove myself to this man but am now at the stage in which I do not care whether or not he trusts me and I have been feeling my love starting to fade which scares me. I had asked him one night after I got him to help me prepare dinner for a change since his father was coming to town. We were discussing all of the crap that his son has been doing and I told him that I had no more love to give and that I had made a mistake by telling him how I felt about him and that it would never happen again. He froze and said "never"? I proclaimed that it probably wouldn't and that the longer he leaves that barrier up against getting close to me that he has to face the facts that my love may very well start to fade and possibly even go away completely. I told him that it wouldn't mean that I didn't want to be with him anymore, it would just mean that if he did eventually realize everything I have done for him and how I loved him so and he then realized down the road that he loved me and by that time I wasn't in love with him anymore that he had no one to blame but himself. I have gone out of my way to stand behind him when he has been in and having trouble with his ex and their child, the horrible things his 13 year old son has been putting him and I through, I've dealt with all of his sons issues including with the school, therapists, CPS, his ex in-laws, the judge of the state that his custody court order was out of, etc. I have lost out on a lot of time with my own child as his child is a liar, thief and a trouble maker and has to be monitored every waking minute while at home. What more does he expect? Would any of you have done all of the things I have just out of love? Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
1 response
@misisbau (317)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
Wow! You did all that for him and he doesn't love you back? Hmm.... I think you know the right thing to do, if you want your self respect back and if you want to get the chance to be happy again. Good luck to you. My hat's off to you for your patience and resilience.
@dbabcook (389)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I know what I should do but the problem is that I am in love with this man and don't want to lose him but am at my wits end with the whole situation. I just don't know how much more I can take and if it is really and truly worth it. Have a great day and thank you for your response.