What are the boundaries of being nice without being a doormat?

make face - Being too nice is not healthy.
@seekers (393)
September 16, 2009 10:42am CST
Some people are being too nice just to belong to a group or be accepted by other people but sometimes being nice is not healthy anymore specially if the person becomes a doormat already. How do we categorize now or set boundaries for being nice? For me, knowing your individuality and maintaining your self-esteem will keep you from being a doormat. Identify the importance of the request and the people who really deserves your help over those who are just lazy to do the task. Also, those people who deserves your help that value your time and effort compared to those only there when they needs you. You might be neglecting valued persons in your life while mistakenly focusing to people who doesn't deserve your attention. How about you? What are are your thoughts on this matter?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@boisson (256)
• Hong Kong
17 Sep 09
To be nice without being flexible? (: That's a tough one. I guess that sort of person would have to know the boundaries of extreme, and then just get on from there (: That's a very interesting question :P I myself have met several doormats in my time, and have treated them as such until I realised they were just trying to be nice. I guess it really just depends on your upbringing, doesn't it? (:
@horsesrule (1960)
• United States
17 Sep 09
I think as long as we don't keep saying yes to things that stretch us too thin or that we totally hate doing, then we can keep from being a doormat. But it's not a good thing if you're always saying yes to everything. And I am more inclined to help those who have been nice to me than I am anyone else, in fact, I'm a meanie, because I won't help all the time. I don't feel that I have to in order to be a decent person. Now, if someone calls me because they want my help, then they jolly well better be someone that talks to me on a regular basic because otherwise, so sorry, no way, no time. I am referring to when I was active at the church. I did not like it when people who never gave me the time of day would have the nerve to call me and want me to help with some project they were helping with and they thought it was okay to call me and ask me to do stuff too. I don't see it that way. I have been a doormat, sometimes I still am, but mostly for my adult daughter and my grandchildren. They always come first with me.