Do you have loved ones in the nursing home?

@Bebs08 (10689)
United States
September 22, 2009 7:30am CST
How do you feel about it when you visit the nursing home? I really pity these people in the nursing homes, I could just imagine how hard it is when you get old and sick? it is very sad. Some nurse there or CNA's are not kind in dealing with them. The are really harsh and the poor old and sick people would just obey. How do you feel about it when your old fo;ls or relatives are in the nursing homes and not treated nicely? Oh!! I felt really bad about it. I don't have any relatives in the nursing home but I am visiting some friends.
2 people like this
10 responses
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
that is not kind of them. the old, tired and weary should be respected. it is a good thing that there are not so many nursing homes here, if there is any and i haven't been to any one of them. old and sick Filipino parents are being cared of by their children. children may arrange to take turns in caring for their parents or one of them adopts the parent into their home. i don't think that even with nursing homes built here, old and sick parents will be placed under their care. it has become an implied responsibility for children to take care of sick and old parents. would it be safe for me to say that this is a cultural thing too? close family relations and deep respect for elders of the filipinos play a big role here.
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Well, I am a Filipino and I know what you are saying.. yes, in the Philippines you can seldom see nursing homes.. if there is one, it is owned by the government and only those who have no relatives will be placed int here. Nut In America, there are lots of nursing homes. The sick and old people are taken to the nursing homes by their relatives because they have to time to take care of them. They are very busy working and everybody should work here in America because life is hard if you don't work. Some have 2-3 jobs in order to survive... I can see the big difference between American and Filipino life.. Some Filipinos said, they don't want to grow old in America.. hehehe..
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
22 Sep 09
It is really sad to visit a nursing home. My grandmother is in an assisted living home and I feel bad for the other residents there. Most of them never get any visitors. It's really ashame.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
22 Sep 09
yes, that's right!! they feel lonesome and the nursing assistant are not treating them well enough to help them ease their loneliness and deep longing for their families. that is just so hard.
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Not to mention I'm sure they are all wondering when they're going home. My grandmother always asks us that and we have to keep telling her that is where she has to live now.
@aprilten (1977)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
One thing with us Filipinos is we don't send our old loved ones to a nursing home. We usually take care of them even if it's not an easy task for us. Those who are in nursing homes here most of the times, do not have relatives anymore or they don't know where they're relatives are. I, myself is willing to take care of my mother-in-law if no one will take her. But, I'm sure all my in-laws would love to care for her to her last day.
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
5 Oct 09
That's right!!! most of us Filipinos will take care of our old loved ones ourselves because we don;t have nursing homes in the Philippines that is for everybody. We do have nursing homes owned by the DSWD but only for those who have no relatives at all and they don;t need to pay anything for being there. But here in America, nursing home is everywhere. Most people can afford to pay because most of them are paid by their social security and their relatives have no time to rake care of them. They are busy with work all the time. In America, all is work so, the sick will be taken care of the medical people in the nursing homes.
• United States
23 Sep 09
I don't have any of my own family but I've visited my wife's family before. It is depressing and you wish you could do more but sometimes you have to let the qualified do what they can. If you know of abuse you should report it, if they are doing it to one person they are probably doing to it others.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
5 Oct 09
I think you are right. If some of the caregivers are mean to one person, the possibility is that they are doing it to many. when I was visiting a nursing home one time, there was a client there who become wild. He was so upset with one of the CNA because he was not treated kindly, so he broke the glass door using a chair. No body can stop him so they call a police. I understand how he feels and I don't blame him for that reaction. I hope that CNA learned her lesson. She is there to care for people not only for pay and if her heart is not willing to do that, she should find another job.
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
23 Sep 09
My mom was in a bad car accident and had to be in one for three months and my grandma broke her hip and had to be in one for a month. I feel bad for people that are in nursing homes. I'm not saying that all nursing homes are bad, but it did seem to me that the people there that don't get any visitors aren't taken care of too well, kind of ignored. I talked to a lot of the people in both nursing homes and while some would complain about not getting out to see their family or their family not visiting them, I talked to a few that would want me to do things there for them but I couldn't because I'm not a CNA and the last thing I wanted to do was something that would hurt them without my knowledge (like getting ice cream for a diabetic) Funny thing was, a lot of them felt better just having someone to talk to and that's all they needed. I want to try to find the time to go visiting and talking to different people in nursing homes, just as something to do for the ones that get no visitors.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Well, in most cases also, the nursing homes are places for the sick that we, in our home do not know how to take care because most of us are not in the medical field so we must take our old and sick loved ones in there but to the extent of not visiting them? that is mean. They need their loved ones and the caregivers can not fill in the need of love and care they need from their own family.
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
I do not have love ones in nursing home and if someday my parents will get old and need care, I will not send them to a nursing home. I will let them stay at my house and take of them or I'll have a personal nurse for them.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
5 Oct 09
That is a very good plan. I don;t want my parents either to be in the nursing home. I want them to be home with me. Now that I am far away from them, my sister will take care of them and that is our plan. We want them to be home with us when they are old and can not take care of themselves. It is pitiful to see old and sick people aways from their loved ones.
22 Sep 09
If they are happy then i don't mind them being there. Whatever is best for them is what they should be doing. Of course if i know of someone such as a nurse who is mistreating them, or any other residents, i would confront them about it immediately and report it to the person in charge and a trusted nurse to ensure that i did not continue into the future.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Right!!! those mean nurses should be reported and should be given advice by their heads to deal with the old kindly.
@walijo2008 (4647)
• United States
22 Sep 09
I really hate having to put anyone in a nursing home, I had to put my grandmother in one and I promised myself I would never do that to anyone again. She was bedridden and we took care of her at home as long as we could, but then it was just me and my grandpa there, and he couldn't help me lift her and stuff, he tried, and after awhile we had no choice, but it was a hard decision to make, I think I cried everytime we went to visit her, especially going home, I cried all the way home everytime. I just don't like those places, so many of the people there are just forgotten, alot of them don't have family that sees them regularly, its a sad place to be.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
22 Sep 09
You're right~!! it is really a very sad thing to think about. I would also cry like you if it happens to my grandmother... Much more to my parents... I would take care of them myself if I have to... I know they will also be hurt when we will let other people take care of them instead of us.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
22 Sep 09
oh,i too feel very bad.sending loved ones to nursing homes is not so common in india but i do see some friends relatives in nursing homes and i sure do feel bad for them.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Yup!! I think this thing is not really common in the Asian countries.. We love to take care of our oldies. I am from the Philippines and I know how The Asian people take good care of their old ones. That is just really sad that this thing is very common in America.
@salonga (27964)
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
Hi my friend Bebs, how sad to note that the oldies are just placed in the nursing home and there they also suffer some maltreatment from unkind nurses! As you know here in the Philippines, it is not common to bring the oldies to the nursing home and I am glad about it. I will not bring my mother there for as long as she lives. I think it is during the old age of our parents that we could show them how much we love them. They've taken cared of us when we were young so when their old age comes and they are weak and need our helping hand it is then that we take our turn to care for them!
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Absolutely!! I agree with you my friend.. I think, that is a matter of culture. Most people here in America don't like to take care of their oldies, they'd rather pay somebody to take care of their old than they themselves to do it. Why? they said, they have no time and and they can not do exactly what the nurses administer to the sick and old. POOR parents... I pity on them. I visit the nursing homes every week to do our missionary work to the residents and I am thinking of where are their relatives? children or what?