Do you ever feel like you wasted your life ?
October 9, 2009 3:16am CST
At times (or most of the time), I do. I used Facebook to check what my past school friends are doing and many of them got married and have children, which made me feel totally stupid and useless because I'm still living at home with my parents and the simple fact of eventually getting married and moving away makes me feel melanchonic. I saw the pictures of an old friend of mine at high school, she delivered her first child two days ago: smiling, sitting on the bed with her baby and surrounded by her parents. You should have seen the look on their faces, their smiles and happiness shining through their eyes. It made me think of my parents, who probably will never ever have the same smile and will never meet their nephew because of the wrong choices that I took in life. I cut contacts with all my friends at school and my best friend got married a couple of months ago(or ex-best friend because she forgot abut me to dedicate herself to boys), she didn't even tell or invite me anyway. I went back to Uni at 25 because I couldn't find a job and I have 15 exams left before I can finish it. I know there are people much older than me at Uni (I'm 30), the girl I met there was 35 and she was nice. I'm talking past because I helped her A LOT and then she disappeared once she didn't need me anymore (probably because once I said I couldn't catch a train to go to Uni and get photocopies for her, after all the times I helped her with exams, practice at school, books and the like). So now I don't know a single person anyway, only cyber friends that I hardly ever meet. I almost never go out, especially at night. I don't know places, pubs ecc. Nothing. I was using the web while studying in the hope to save some money and use it to attend some courses in the hope to meet people or to be able to d some homestay in the US once I'm done with Uni, at least for a couple of weeks (I've never even been abroad and I've only seen Rome -in my country- twice
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9 Oct 09
Hi, I have certainly done things in my life, which i now regret, and feel i wasted that part of my life, but it is all a means to an end. I am where i want to be today, and without my past mistakes, i would not be here, if that makes sense? I ended up in the place where i now live, because of mistakes i made, I put myself out, to make my life better, and through meeting someone by doing that, i ended up in the town i live now. It is here, i met my husband, and got married, and had two more beautiful children (I already had two, to my first marriage), and i am settled, with a good life, a fantastic family, and very happy. I would never have ended up here, had i not taken a risk, and messed up my life, many years ago, i would have continued down the path i was on, at the time, and who knows, where i would be now? I doubt, i would be as happy as i am today. I think things happen for a reason, i really do, so hang in there, because your life could change forever, in a moment of you deciding to make a change. Really, it could be that simple. I have felt like you did, really thought i had messed up, and wasted my life. Then i made one decision, and it changed my life forever, for the better. Your turn will come, i am sure of it..