I am fed up HELP
October 12, 2009 10:52am CST
I do not know how many of you can relate but help I am in the verge of freaking out. I just could not take it anymore. My mom asked me to take care of my nephew while my younger sister goes to school. Even I have kids of my own I agreed to stay in her house despite my husband's plea that we should move out. She kept on complaining that we are not giving financial support in the household without realizing that my husband could not take the responsibility on his own. I just could not understand why my mom hates me so much. She would not allow me to do business outside the vicinity of our town and I am getting frustrated. Can someone give me an advice on how I can give them a hee hoo out of my life?
12 Oct 09
Better talk to your mom and discuss these issues with her. Talk to her calmly as if you are just confiding on her. I am sure your mom can understand your situation. Tell her your side. Be patient, mothers are sometimes know it all and dislike being confronted but there is nothing we cannot get with good conversation. Cool down yourself first before talking to your mom.
12 Oct 09
that was such a sad thing to know. Why not submit to your husband, I think if your mom is really stressing you out, maybe its time for you to move out. That way, your mother will realize your worth. I mean she should appreciate your kindness in looking after your nephews and sisters. That is hard especially you have your own kids to look after too. May be that differences is caused by too much attachment. Try to give yourselves a space. Why am I saying this? Because somehow, it happened that also to me and my mom (even thou it is really not the same scenario). I think that will help you. Good luck. I wish all turns well.
12 Oct 09
Dear hwoarangpoy, Although we try to empathize with you, its almost impossible for us to step into your shoes however, take a few minutes off and try to get to a quiet place where you could cool down and think for a while.Its important you stay calm to solve a situation like this. Next, think off all those times you have overcome such situations and come out strong. Try speaking to your mom first before you take any decision. Consider all your options, tell her frankly that you deserve to be treated better than this and will do all that you can to support the family financially.Also speak to you husband in your mom's presence. I'm sure you can come to an amicable solution. Meanwhile, remember.. you are a woman, and you are emotionally stronger than a man. All bad things too have an end. Take care. Cheers, Karen
• United States
13 Oct 09
I agree I think that its time you went with your husbands wishes and moved out. First it is not very fair for you to be watching the kids and everything while also being told that you do not help support the household. It is time for you to stop worrying about hurting your mother's feeling and do what is best for your husband and your children. It is not very healthy for your husband to be emasculated in such a way. Without even realizing it you may have made him feel like less of man. If the two of you together can support your family on your own then take a chance and do so. It will be a huge stress off of you and probably make your husband and children happier. Your mom may be mad at first but let her be that way. Calmly tell herr you are doing what you feel is best for your family and that you are putting their lives first and foremost in your thoughts. On the flip side if you cannot move out, maybe look at finding full time employment elsewhere that way you are not always at home and that you and your husband can work together to save enough money to have a place of your own. He will respect you more and his love for you will deepen and it will also make you feel like you are more in control and also put you in a position to where you are more in control of your life and your and your family's future. Anywya goodluck and be of good courage. For you cannot be faulted for putting your foot down and acting in preservation of yourself and your marriage and family.