October 30, 2009 9:08pm CST
It's like...everything in my life is slowly, but steadily slipping. My money is going, I'm loaning people money that don't ever intend on paying me back (my fault of course), spending all this money trying to get in shape for all the wrong reasons - don't get me wrong, I want to, and I need to, but ya know. and .. I just, I find myself falling more and more for her. and I know I'm just gonna end up hurtin, but I can't help it. I can't stop it - and i don't want to, but....I dunno, just, when everything is getting to you, and the one thing that keeps you going turns around and slaps you in the face outta the blue...you kinda snap back, and look at what you got ya know? That's why I get the way I do, that's why I don't feel like hanging out. i just get down and I don't even want to be cheered up. I don't feel like going through the motions. I know I have some serious depression issues but I try. I try not to let it show. I try to be happy, try and see things positively, but at the end of the day, I still go to bed with the same mentality.