Do we have to spank our children in order to discipline them?

@happy2512 (1266)
Philippines
November 11, 2009 11:52pm CST
Spanking is not just hurting physically but emotionally but why is it that there are lots of parents doing it? Can they not talk to their kids of telling them what's right & what's wrong maybe parents are also the reason why kids did something wrong. We set to be an example to them. But why hurting them & seeing the bruises all oven their legs, other child died because of too much spanking. What kind of person can do that? I cannot understand their point, Can you?
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6 responses
@nachtzz (29)
• Philippines
13 Nov 09
Yeah! I agree to the idea that spanking does not just hurting the child physically but also emotionally. The big question there is why are there lost of parents who are still practicing this? On my thought, because, I too experienced being spanked by my parents, this is one way of disciplining the child. It's also true that there are lots of alternatives in disciplining a child other than beating them. The reason for me why mostly parents spank their children is for them to realize their faults and or mistakes. Others may think it wrongly to see parents spanking their children but that's the way it is. I may give myself as an example. When I was 12, I got spanked always even if it's not my fault(my sister's fault).Maybe that's the way of my father for me to realize my responsibility to my younger sister and I don't remember any grudge to him. By the time I got spanked, I then realize what are my mistakes and with that I learned from it for I do not want any bruises from my body. I don't know what's your idea in mind but this is just my thought and I love my parents the way they raised us.
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@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
13 Nov 09
That's so nice to hear from you loving your parents inspite of the experience you've been with your parents but I hope that you will have another alternative in raising up your own kids. Thanks.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
13 Nov 09
Some parents believe that it is necessary in order to enforce discipline. I don't know. I grew up getting spanked quite often but that's also because my father has anger management issues. I am against it. I think, if you raise a child to use his/her head better, the less likely they are to resort to acts of violence. As a child, I would have a temper, too, because I got it from my Dad. Lucky enough, as I grew older, I decided that I don't want to be anything like him and thus far, I've been successful in reaching that goal.
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@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
13 Nov 09
That is so nice to hear from you. I am happy hope the cycle of past will not affect you and change you plan not to hurt your future kids. Thanks you & I wish you all the best.
• China
12 Nov 09
no,I don't agree to treat kids so crude.kids are very young ,they often can't control their behave well,making one mistake or other.parents are mature,so they should control their temper and hands,using a mild proper way to correct their kids.If they just give simple crudes penalties to kids,I think they behave like kids.sometimes parents are in a bad mood,so they yell at their children and beat them to take it out on. have a nice day!
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@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
so sad to hear that they used beat their kids in order to express their anger. Thanks for that.
@chookie1971 (2276)
• Australia
16 Nov 09
As a child I was spanked. Apparently, I was told I was black and blue. It was for a reason which is discipline. My parents would put a plastic arrangement on a low table. When I would go up to touch it, my parents would say no, don't touch. If I would try it again, they would say no, don't touch or you will get a smack. If I was to go to touch it a third time, they would repeat the no, don't touch and get spanked. At time went on and they were taking me out, I would go and touch something I shouldn't, my parents would say no, don't touch. I would automatically back away from the item. Today, I don't really remember them smacking me. Just the odd one or two. I do have full respect for my parents. I know they love me, and I love them. Today, I have children of my own. They are growing up. I would smack them for discipline only. They would be given an option. I would either send them off to their rooms for time out. If they refused to go, then would offer the smack. Room or smack. My older child chooses their room all the time. My younger child refuses to go so I still offer the smack. When I stand up to apply the smack, my younger child heads of to their room. If discipline is given with a smack, I believe that the child should have a choice first. Alternate discipline or a smack. If a smack needs to be handed out, it should be delivered to the back of the hand or on the legs or thighs. Never on any part of the body. The other thing is the smack should not be given out of anger. The adult must be emotionally under control. There was once I was going to deliver a smack to my young child because they did something that really angered me. But I stopped. I didn't even smack the child because if I did, I would not have stopped because of the anger and would have been child abuse. So instead, I screamed that is it, I have had enough. I am not going to my room because I am not happy with you. Off I went to my room and closed the door. When I came out, my youngest said to me, mommy I am sorry. We had a good chat. My children are now old enough now not to get smacked which I am greatful for. But all their lives, I have always rewarded and give the children attention for good behaviour, and ignored bad behaviour. I am proud to say, my children are well behaved. They are no angels, but when they do go out to other people's places, they are on their best behaviour. I am proud of my children. I love my children. If I was to have another child, I would do it again. Give child a choice and hope they choose the alternate choice. If I had to give them a smack, it would be in places I have mentioned and no where else on the body. Must be out of love, not anger. When things settle, talk to them to make sure they understand. There is a fine line between discipline and child abuse. If any parent can control their child without smacking, I say well done to them. I admire them.
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@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
if i were to become a parent, i won't spank my children instead i'll warn them to not to do it again. not spanking children establishes more discipline because proper communication is involved and it doesn't threatens the children to act violently. i wouldn't want my children to grew up rebelling against just because they find my training unsuitable for them. don't be violent so that they won't respond violently also. :D
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• Philippines
13 Nov 09
When I was a kid, my mom used to spank me whenever I made mistakes. She did that because she thought that was the right way for me to learn and sometimes she shared that she was being spanked by my grandfather while growing up. It's true that it hurts physically but emotionally? I think that depends on the situation. If it is too much where to the verge of causing too much trauma, that's not really good. Fortunately that is not my case because I wouldn't be the person I am right now but I promised to myself that I won't do the same thing if ever I'm going to have kids in the future. If I wanted to teach them a lesson, I'd rather discuss to them on what they did and its possible consequences.
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