To Circumsize or Not To Circumsize...

@RyanneD (189)
United States
November 29, 2009 4:46pm CST
Hey All, So my husband and I are expecting a bouncing baby boy on December 22nd and we need to make the decision whether or not to have him circumsized. Now, my husband is set on having it done, but I don't know... something about is making me feel really guilty if we have it done. It's not a neccessary procedure and it would cause him so much pain, and I don't want to hurt my baby. I actually cried about it the other day when my husband and I were dicussing it for the millionth time (I'm sure I'm just emotional because of all the pregnancy hormones). I just want some opinions and advise. Would having it done make me a bad mom, etc.? Thanks for your input.
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
30 Nov 09
I would have it done if i was you. It does not cause as much pain as you think. It will also protect your baby boy more from getting infections and stds later. Plus when hes older hes not going to want to have that extra skin... most guys are embarrassed by it (or so i'm told)
1 person likes this
@RyanneD (189)
• United States
30 Nov 09
I just want to say thank you all for your responses. Having this discusion has given me many different views so I feel I can better assess my options. I especially want to say thank you to Benny and any other men who responded. Getting a mans point of view (other than my husband's) is nice!!! Thanks again! :-)
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@free_man (7337)
• United States
30 Nov 09
Hello RyanneD. It don't really hurt the baby for long when I had my son I had it done to him for health reasons. The fore skin if left on is harder to keep clean that can make it smell if not washed properly. No there is no real reason to have it done. But if your going to have it done have it done as soon as the doctor says it is safe don't wait cause the longer you wait the more it will hurt. It isn't a big deal. They pull the skin up and clip it and then bandage it up for a few days and it will heal quickly.
1 person likes this
@benny128 (3621)
30 Nov 09
I haven't been circumsized and neither has my boy. I personally think that it should only be done for medical reasons as the skin usually loosens with age aswell. From my perspective what right do we have as parents to do anything to our children that he doesn't have a say in unless its for medical reasons. Though I know that some religions will do it for religious reasons, but personally I don't agree with it good luck with ya new addition x
@raisur (423)
• Bangladesh
30 Nov 09
hi benny, i have been circumsized due to religious reason, my sons too... as such, i'm just curious about ones who haven't been... "skin usually loosens with age" - can you please explain it a bit for me? is it that the skin cover doesn't remain anymore?
@benny128 (3621)
30 Nov 09
well my son had problems passing urine and they were talking about doing the procedure but the consultants explained that as boys develop the skin loosens 4 years later he has no problems passing urine etc etc so its personal choice but I think that should be the choice of the little one not the choice of the parents unless its for medical reasons. But I ain't going to judge anyone as I said previously.
@raisur (423)
• Bangladesh
30 Nov 09
thanks benny, i got it now...
@xmas74 (7)
• United States
30 Nov 09
Circumcision is a personal decision, decided by the family. Don't let someone you've never met on a message board tell you how to feel. It's something that you have to work out for yourself. Sit down and talk to your husband. Find out exactly why he wants it done. For most it'll be because he wants his son to look "like him" or "like the boys in the locker room". (Yep, peer pressure can have a factor.) Discuss with him your issues with circumcision and find out if there is room for further discussion. Remember, this doesn't have to happen directly after the baby is born! Also talk to a pediatrician and find out how they feel. Oftentimes they will have pamphlets on whether or not to circumcise. Read them and discuss them with your husband. Talk to friends and family members about the subject, especially those who have had sons in the past ten years. They will have a definite opinion and will offer points in favor or completely against the subject. Some consider it butchery while the UN recommends it. (The recommendations have to deal with cleanliness in third world countries, something that you shouldn't have to deal with as long as you teach him good hygiene. But this is something to think about.) For some, it's about aesthetics. For others, it's the beginning of a spiritual journey. The best thing you can do is to get as much information from reliable sources and then review them with your husband. This is also his child so he does have a say. Between the two of you a resolution will be attained.
@RyanneD (189)
• United States
30 Nov 09
That's exactly why my husband wants it done, and I do agree with him completely. There is something to be said about a boy looking like his father/brothers/friends. See, here's the thing... after my husband and I got married we decided that if we had boys we would have them circumsized. I had no issues with it whatsoever. It's just the closer it gets to having our son the "colder" my feet get. I'm sure I'm just hormonal and emotional, but it's really been on my mind lately. I agree with you that it's a personal decision, and I no where near expect my husband to do what I say. It's a joint decision, not just mine. I've been talking to my family and friends about it and I suppose it's helping. I mean, here's the thing; he won't remember it, right? My husband had it done and he's just fine. He's not traumatised or anything like that. He wes a perfectly well adjusted child and is now a perfectly well adjusted adult. I think what freaked me out about it is the more I read the more I realized that they don't use an anesthetic and that just breaks my heart. Thank you very much for your comment. I really appreciate it.
• United States
30 Nov 09
A friend recently had baby number five and it was a boy. She wasn't too happy with the decision to have a circumcision with her first child and wasn't happy with the doctor that performed it. This time around she decided that she would speak with many doctors and find one that she preferred. She found her (the doctor) and was quite happy with the outcome. This time around her husband was allowed in the room during the circumcision and he said it was quick. The baby let out a quick "yelp" and that was it. Their first child, on the other hand, could be heard down the hall. The circumcision done on him was sloppy, to say the least. On number five it was beautiful, clean and healed quickly. Pregnancy is not what is portrayed on television. I remember constantly worrying about every last aspect of my labor and child birth for months before it happened. If it helps you to release your feelings on a message board then please do so! We all need a good sounding board from time to time. Back to circumcision-I've had friends who have gone either way. In each case it was personal choice, except for one instance of religious preference. In the long run it's best to talk to the baby's doctor about the subject and find out where they stand. Once you've done that and have gathered all the pertinent information then it will be time to have a sit-down with the hubby.
• United States
30 Nov 09
If you're talking about doing it for religious reasons, I don't see the need. That was an old covenant that was used to mark out God's people (Israel), but it has since been replaced by baptism, just as animal sacrifice was replaced by Christ's blood :) Otherwise I would say it's just preference of the parents. It may be a bit healthier but it's not dangerous or anything not to.
@raisur (423)
• Bangladesh
30 Nov 09
hi ryanneD, i think, things have mostly been covered in your discussion with xmas74... hope, it will be easier now for you to take the decision... i just like to inform you that things are much simpler at younger age... it usually heals in 2-3 days...but, not necessarily it should be just after birth... i think, it is better to be at the age 3-5, when a kid starts to understand things... but, no harm even if it is just after birth... only thing is that the kid won't remember anything... won't they use any aenesthesia? for my kids, they had local... i don't know, may be an aenesthesia for a new born is not wise... another thing, the more you keep it open, the better... so, it should be better not be done in winter...
• United States
30 Nov 09
Having your baby boy circumsized would NEVER make you a bad mom! This has been done for SO many years! Yes it may hurt, but when he is a little ball of enargy getting cuts and scrapes just like every other little boy he will hurt, too, again and again, but let me ask you: Do you remember when you were born? Do you remember screaming even as a little baby? If your like most people you answered no to both questions, so having the circusizion is nothing, you'll probibly be passed out after labor and birth and wont even know it happened! Also to keep in mind it helps with hygen, its easier to clean, for you when he is a cute baby and for him when he is grown!