New Year's resolutions I will never make
December 2, 2009 12:24am CST
Every year for the past 4 I've been putting out a similar list to 1. answer all those..'Well, what do you think about..(fill in the blank)?' questions and 2. To insult just about everyone I know one way or another. I saw no reason to change that this year. So, I guess I best get on with it.. 2009 is just about over and done with. Halloween has passed, which, I must say, wasn't as scary as the year that preceded it...And my mind turns to the coming (scary?) year and cringes. Add to this the recent (11/2/09) passing of our roommate and conditions thereof and I can't help but dread.. Nonetheless, I begin this year's list of New Year's Resolutions I will never make.. 1.I will accept that the swine flu is a completely accidental mutation. 2.I will not use the terms genocide and healthcare bill in the same sentence. 3.I will acknowledge being a racist, sexist or any other 'ist' to justify others narrow-minded notions of me. 4.I will admit that the freedom of speech extends to those who have nothing on their minds to say. 5.I will admit that socialist's 'share the wealth' is worse that capitalist's 'exploit the poor'. 6.I will stop using liberal and damned in the same sentence. 7.I will accept abortion as a viable solution for 'oops!'. 8.I will stop asking why environmentalists drive to their rallies. 9.I will aggressively support the rights of the victimizer more than the rights of the victims. 10. I will stop informing folks that the politcaly correct way to refer to 'white' people is..sufferers of pigmentation deficiency disorder. 11.I will admit that the only people who deserve privacy are those peeking thru their blinds, tapping my phone and monitoring my internet activities. 12. I'll stop asking why no one traded Obama in in the 'cash for clunkers' program. 13. I will admit that inflation is my fault. 14. I will stop referring to Obama politics as 'Stalin wants you!' 15. I will admit that Stone Mountain is an incredible work of art rather than a monument to the exploitation and dehumanization of people for profit. 16. I'll accept that being ineligible for the Healthcare Reform and Swine Flu vaccination are not an age discrimination issue. 17. I'll stop asking why the banks got a bailout when it was our money they lost. 18. I'll stop referring to abortion as prenatal child abuse. 19. I'll admit that a one world currency could be better controlled by the people who couldn't control their local currencies. 20. I'll stop asking..'Well, whose neighborhood does the landfill belong in?' 21. I'll stop telling folks that ALL water has bacteria in it. 22. I'll take full responsibility for the economic crisis because I didn't buy the things I can't afford with the money I don't have because sharing the wealth isn't fair to those who receive it but didn't earn it. 23. I'll acknowledge that starving children is nothing compared to looking ten years younger. 24. I'll praise the values of a phone that does everything besides pay for itself. 25. I'll accept that freedom of religion does not extend to Christianity. And there they are! There's plenty of space for comments, attitudes..favorite(s), least favorite(s)..or something I've overlooked..whatevah! ENJOY!
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