Only Time Will Tell
By Bambi09
@Bambi09 (227)
United States
December 17, 2009 5:06pm CST
So my husband is is jail. Again. He keeps smoking pot and he is on house arrest. He keeps this young crowd around. We are a young couple. I am 18 and he is 23. But the kids he hangs out with are my age and do the wrong things. We are currently expecting our second child in january. I am living with my parents now because I dont have a job to pay our rent. I don't know how I could even get a job because as pregnant as I am. I love him so much but I just don't know if I can handle this. Our life has become very complicated. Our daughter is one and there's no room here for her and my son. But i have no other option. My husband is just so stupid sometimes and doesn't think. He wrote me a letter and it said if I get out on house arrest again I swear I will never smoke again. I think he's full of sh** and I just don't know what to believe. I love him, but our children aren't being taken care of like they should be. It's driving me crazy. I just wanna go down to the jail and slap him... but I can't since there is a big piece of glass between us. I only want to work our marriage out and it just seems to be slipping away. What should I do?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@anniege (202)
• China
17 Dec 09
Hi Bambi! Each family has his own story.I am so sorry about your story and don't know how to give you an answer. You are so young and you surely should have a very good future life. You have a lovely daughter and a son in coming days,which meantime causes a big problem you should consider that how do you live your life. I wish your husband will have a new start after he come back and together with you to face all the problem.
You can't leave him because you love him so much. So just like what you said only time will tell.
Take care and wish you an easy labour with your coming son.
Best wishes to you Bambi.
@basite (29)
• Latvia
18 Dec 09
I have 25 years-old girl and i am married already 2, but we live together 4 years, i cant say any worst word about my husband, he is very good and lovely!
You know that slap in face in this situation would not change anything, because peoples do not want changing and it is hard.I wish that your family life all will be ok, Bambi!
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
18 Dec 09
Hi, Bambi09. Right now, your main concern should be for your unborn child and your daughter. Your husband does not seem like he wants to get himself together. So, you will have to take upon his role that he has failed to do. I know that you really love him, but he is not being the man that he should be for his family. Let him stay in jail while you think things through on your end. You have yourself to think about so that you can have a healthy baby. Your husband should have known better than to hang out and get himself into trouble. He should have been thinking about his family when he was out in the streets having fun. I am sorry to have to tell you all this, but your husband seems like a loser. You are so much better off without him. If he he ever decides to change, I hope that it will be for his own sake and not just to make you satisfied. Get yourself together and take care of yourself and your children.
@greatsasuke (472)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I think in this situation you have to decide what is best for the kids. Make some rules and let him know that if he doesn't follow these rules then the marriage is over. He needs to take more responsibility for his wife and children. He is not in high school anymore, so if he wanted to get married and have kids then he has to help in taking care of them. Tell him to quit acting like trailer park trash and straighten up or you are leaving. Also, relax with your family during your pregnancy and at least 6 months thereafter before you go looking for a job. Hope this helps.
@thewayis (646)
• Bulgaria
18 Dec 09
I don't think that there is a good response to your problem. On one hand, it might be better to stay with your husband and see if he is really going to quit the pot. But, on the other hand, it might be better if you leave them and start thinking of yourself as a single mom and after that you could start thinking about your own life, your own future and your kids. Both choices has strong and weak points and both could possibly turn out the right ones. I don't think that any of us could give the solution to your problem - if you don't figure it out on your own, you will never be sure if you took the right decision
@riddler1981 (1)
• India
18 Dec 09
trust in god, wat is suggest is that priorities your necessities and be calm. everyone in this world has some or the other issue or problems but as it is said nothing is constant in this world, so the problems are supposed to go away some day. Take it as a challenge and face the situation as it comes and try to solve it calmly.
Pushing your husband too much would make him feel bad and he will just say things to please you but won't work on it.
So let him be on his own and make your yourself to handle the situations.
take care
regards.
@amandaauc (82)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I'm sorry about your situation. I understand that you love your husband and when we love somebody, we always seem to take them back over and over again. But, you're so young. Focus on your kids, and if he wants to make it up to you when he gets out, maybe give him a chance, but don't settle. Give your kids the life they deserve and you will find somebody who appreciates you and wants to spend their life with you instead of in jail.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
18 Dec 09
He is an irresponsible husband, father and a man. So why do you still want to work out with your relationship that is obviously doesn't have a place for him? I suggest that you will leave and forget about him. You have two kids to be taken care of and they are should be your priority first before anything else. Dont waste your time with him, there are lot of things that you should do first.
@budit17mem (12)
• Philippines
18 Dec 09
hi there. i'm 35 and i've 5 kids. i separated fr my husband almost 7 yrs now. loving means respect and responsibility. you are lucky God gave you children to live and love with. Just think of them. If your husband will wake up one day and start thinking about you and your kids then, great and thank the Lord for it. If not, you have to move on and start thinking about yourself and kids. If he will not change, just move on with your life. I left my husband because of his gambling...Men really get stupid at times and not think of the more important things in their lives. I don't want to keep spending my time with a loser that's why i asked him to stay as far as he can fr me and my kids...I love my children and they are the most precious gifts i received... You will get a job soon. When you give birth, plan things and stop thinking about your husband's problems.I know it's tough because of your condition.Be strong, for yourself...for your children...God loves you....
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
18 Dec 09
Hi Bambi09, sad to hear about your situation after reading your current situation. Although you are young, you have already thought of your future, your family and you children. This is a very good mindset. Is there any jobs that you could work from home?
I hope your husband is of the same mindset as you once he is out of jail. He promised you he will repent once he is done with this jail term, so let time tells if he is able to fulfill rather than bottling up your frustration as it is not good for your baby. Hope everything turns out well for you. Take care
