I just found out one of my friends is gay

United States
January 9, 2010 11:45pm CST
I just found out one of my friends is gay. I am shocked to find this out. Alot of people around town suspected it for years but I never believed it. When I asked him about it he said he was not so I believed him. When ever anyone said anything about it I defended him and told anyone who said that he was my friend and he was not. I thought I would at least know before anyone else. I am a fool now for defending him because I though he was not gay. He made me look like a fool for defending him. My friend told other people before telling me. It was kind of a let down because of the fact I was defending him. I mean what the heck friends are suppose to tell each other stuff not make them look like a idot defending them. I guess I feel left in the dark about all of it. I mean I saw some signs that he might be but thought he could just be a sensitive guy. He just told his parents and they are not taking it very well. They said they will love him no matter what anyway. I can only imagine what there feeling. I saw where his mom is asking for prayers. I am a little worried. I just wished he had told me sooner I mean after all we are friends and I have known him since highschool. I would still be his friend either way. Gay or straight it would not have mattered. He is a good looking guy and I guess I don't understand why most the good looking guys turn gay. I guess life is full of surprises and this was a shock and a big surprise. I am just a little hurt that I was not told sooner. I hate it when friends keep secrects from me. It is really not fair. I really don't get it! A friend is suppose to be understanding and I am a understanding friend. As a friend I deserve to be told the truth and not a fib or stetch the truth. I hope someone can see where I am comming from!
2 responses
nocturn98
@nocturn98 (956)
• Venezuela
10 Jan 10
The reason you didn't suspect him while all others did is because you saw him as a friend. No labels, no complications, just as a friend. The moment you tried to look at him in another way, that's when you saw what others did.
hmcormier
@hmcormier (37)
• United States
10 Jan 10
I'm a lesbian and I will tell you that it is the hardest thing in the world to come out for some individuals. I understand where you are coming from about being hurt that he never told you, but maybe he wasn't sure. For some people it is something that they have to 'investigate' before becoming positive. Maybe he kinda always had feels towards males but have never been in a relationship so he wasn't sure if he was gay. Or maybe he got the impression that you had negative feelings about gays so he felt that he couldn't tell you. The best thing to do is stay by him, he has been your friend all along. Nothing has changed about it. The fact that his family is obviously having a hard time dealing with it means that he is going to need his friends by his side. I'm sure he always wanted to tell you. There could be multiple reasons why he never did. Ask him. But whatever you do don't back away from him, thats the most hurtful thing anyone can do. Do let him know though that you wish he could have told you sooner, but make sure he knows that its not going to change your friendship. You have the right to feel upset for being kept in the dark, but you also need to see where he is coming from. He just confessed something that many people in this world judge harshly. If anything go shopping, he will most likely be able to help you pick out great clothes that match well and make you look good.