Family fueds do you forgive and forget?
By cmhjjh
@cmhjjh (98)
United States
January 15, 2010 6:52pm CST
My husbands family drives me crazy, his mom and his brother have bi-polar tendencies but don't tell that to then because they will start world war 3 about it. You can't sit down and have an adult conversation with them because if you bring anything up they don't like they get very defensive and act like children. The most recent is his brother had a baby we were informed of it 12 hours after she was born asked not to come to the hospital and we were only allowed to come to the house when they were home if we had flu shots done for the season. No one in my family has had a flu shot and we will not be getting one and my daughter has had a running nose for the past two weeks so we have not gone to see them. Now no one on my husband's side has gone to see them and it has been 2 weeks. Well I think his brother is mad about it because he calls today insisting my husband return something he borrowed now and when my husband tells him he already left for work so he can't today his brother just goes off on him. Telling him he is stupid and uneducated and will never be as good of a person as him and then he made some comments about me and was just irriate and mad a small coment about his daughter which is what makes me think he is mad no one has come. Well this isn't the first time this has happened since he got married this year he has called us uneducated, stupid etc.. He never blows up like this on anyone else in the family only my husband I think mainly because for the past few years this has been going on my husband continues to forgive him even when an apology has never been said.
When is it enough. His brother is always the one to start the fight, we try to be civil when we are around them but it doesn't stop.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Godmother (476)
• Indonesia
16 Jan 10
I think that they are bi-polar, or are mild-psychopat. I have a brother who is like that, and I just stay away from him. I don't care what he says anymore, because we all think he's sick. We are stopping all ties now, didn't even send sms for birhtdays anymore, and I think it's better this way. If there's anything very very important to be said, I text an sms to his wife ( which is a very kind girl). My number one responsibility is to manage my life well, develop my children and help others. And that's enough work there, not to be disturbed by "sick comments" of people who are angry at themselves.
@cmhjjh (98)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I think it is going to have to come to that point we have 2 young children and they are our top priority. The really sad part is his wife is just as bad as him so I feel for the new child I can't begin to even fathom what kind of childhood that kid will have.
@jalucia (1431)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Ummm, well, I am all for minimizing stress. And, if your brother is a stressful person I would not deal with him. "Hi" and "bye" when I'm around him, but I wouldn't talk to him on the phone or ask my hubbie about him. I'm not so sure that your husband is bothered by all of this, or just used to it. If this is how he chooses to deal with his sibling - by allowing hisself to be verbally abused - you can try talking to him, but if you can't get through to him I would just separate myself from the whole situation. Don't even talk about his brother to him.
@cmhjjh (98)
• United States
16 Jan 10
He does not like it and is fed up with it. He would like to cut off all ties with his brother. I can understand I just find it hard to believe a family can be that way I come from a very close family we can talk about anything we have an arguements every now and then but nothing even close to these type of things.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
17 Jan 10
When it comes to family, we really need to search our hearts. Try to find a way to both forgive and forget. Life is just too short for anything else!
@billi65 (29)
•
16 Jan 10
you have to forgive people for mistakes and errors. I have known people that have fallen out with family and friends for years. It is just not worth it. If something was to happen to these people then you would feel so bad that you had ignored them. Life is too short for argumnets and grudges.
@cici3_511 (2)
• China
17 Jan 10
I guess your husband's brother is not a christian like u,cuz each christain I met is so kindhearted,polite and unselfish.maybe it's time for u to reform him.there is an good example from Holy Bible-see Peter I 3:1.Apostle Peter said that,the wife could "not preach",but influnced the husband by "the behavior".I think this way for changing one person can be used in many relationships not just wife-husband.Since he is your husband brother,your children's uncle who is indirectly have some genetic connection with u,you can't avoiding seeing him when u r alive.so rather than feeling agnoy when u met him,u should show your kindness first. whatever he says and does,u keep a good attitude to him.let him see how a christian does,I think he will be moved by your behavior at last.each important holiday,u may send his child a gift to show you and your husand's gentleness to kid along with a card that writes a good sentence or some blessings extracted from Bible.if he and his wife become christian,their little kid may become one too under christly education.we will see 3 more person in the heaven in the future.
