Waitors and Waitress are they very social or are they flirting?

United States
January 16, 2010 6:37pm CST
Over the last few weeks, I've gone to lunch at a couple of restaurants. Two of these times, I had a waitor. The interesting thing is that both times I thought they were flirting. I'll give you I was eating alone, but it made me begin to think if they are flirting than why? Is it that they are being very social and it just is coming off as seeming like they might be flirting or is that their normal social personality. I'll give you both times it did make me feel pretty good to hear the words they were saying, but I questioned were they just working it to pad their tips or were they been sincere. My question to the mylot community is do you think waitors and waitress flirt with customers or is it that they are just being very social? If they are being very social or flirting than is it sincerely a part of their character or a tactic to increase their tips?
5 responses
@bryce22 (69)
• Poland
17 Jan 10
I think they are just only very accomodating.Sometimes we misinterpret them saying that they are flirting with us.They just do their jobs and act nicely for the benefit of their company.
1 person likes this
@Kent90 (71)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 10
i agree with you with your point.in order to survive in our career, we have to do something that the others dont. in case of a waiter, they have to do this as part of their skill or tactic in order to survive. sometimes we have no choice in life. they have to do it even people may see them as flirt.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
i am not a waiter, but i am in a band. bar owners always orient us to be extra friendly to anybody who walks in our bar. but luckily i am not a singer. i play bass so i am on the back part of the band. sometimes nobody notices that i am alive har har har. thats goes specially to our singers. they should be extra caring and extra friendly. i dont want to say that it is flirting though the purpose of it is for costumers to come back at that said place. when my wife was still working as a singer she does extra caring and extra sweet to costumers as well.
• Malaysia
17 Jan 10
i TOTALLY agree with you. They are told to do that, so that people will feel liked or very welcomed, that makes customers want to come back to that place. They do that almost to everybody because that's their job.
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
maybe sometimes it is misunderstood as flirting but i guess it is more called as charm. if they use their charm and they are charming towards costumer then then win them, then the costumer will surely come back again and again. whether we like it or not it works.... some does it very flirty but it works.
@Thunderll (103)
• United States
17 Jan 10
Those are hard questions to answer because every waiter and waitress is an individual person who do things for different reasons. There's really no way to know if they are flirting or just being nice unless you get to know them. However, I think that in general most waiters and waitresses are simply being friendly. Maybe some come off as a little too friendly and appear to be flirting, but after all, talking, joking, and even complimenting people can earn them larger tips. From what I've heard, what they get paid hourly is a insubstantial amount so there is no doubt in my mind they will try to be as nice and helpful as they can be in order to get more money to supports themselves. I do believe that many waiters and waitresses are genuine, though. I know some people who took that sort of job because they honestly do enjoy interacting with people, trying to brighten their day, and yes, even flirting with the occasional person.
• United States
17 Jan 10
Do you ever find yourself feeling awkward or uncomfortable when a waitor is being very social and possible flirting or do you enjoy it? I never know what to think and get easily get caught off guard. I'm not someone that knows what to say in a lot of social situations. I always get thrown because I cannot read the waitor's intent in being so social. Secretly I might feel flattered, but I also tend to feel vulnerable because I'm alone and let's face it we do live in a pretty crazy world that makes us feel like we sometimes must be on our guard against strangers.
• United States
18 Jan 10
Yeah, a waiter being a little too nice or flirting can make me feel uncomfortable. They should definitely be polite and friendly, compliments are nice, maybe a little harmless flirting, but there is a certain point where it can stop being harmless and start to get pretty creepy. One time, I had a waitress start talking to me about a different customer who annoyed her and how she wished his car would blow up and other strange things. It was definitely awkward! I don't think that many waiters are dangerous, but it can't hurt to be on your guard regardless of where you are.
@masay7 (89)
• Gambia
17 Jan 10
Well, its normal to be service oriented, but indeed at times waitress are flirts. They do it purposefully, to seduce us atimes.
• United States
17 Jan 10
That is a very interesting post that you have made that waitors or waitress flirt to seduce customers do you have any stories to go along with your post? It is always more intriging to hear the story behind a thought. What percentage of the time do you think waitors and waitress are flirting to seduce rather than being friendly and oriented to providing customer service? Does anyone know of any statistics to go along with the conversation?
@tpinto (66)
• United States
17 Jan 10
I think that it's probably a little of both. Maybe they think that your cute so they flirt with you but they also probably do it to get a better tip from you.