My neighbor's 14 years old daughter got pregnant, what will you advice?
January 17, 2010 10:22pm CST
I have a lady neighbor who worked abroad. Her daughter a 14 years old high school student got pregnant, i guess 3 months on the way. The culprit was not her schoolmate either but somewhere lived far from school vicinity. What you will do as being a counselor? How will you deal to the situation being her parents?
1 person likes this
19 Jan 10
There are so many questions to be asked here. If the mother is working abroad, under whose guidance was this girl growing? I mean who was the lady guardian. It should be someone like the granmother or aunt or someone. See, this girl is too young to lead a life of her own. At the same time, it was here mother's responsiblity to find a job near by when her gitl is gowing up to give her the moral support. Now whatever has happened has happened. Still, I think the girl is too young and her parents need to take an informed decision.
18 Jan 10
For me I would do the following : 1. Check if the girl has the tendency of hurting herself or the baby. If there is, then have somebody in her family to look for her. 2. Tell the parents in the calmest possible way. explaining to the mother what really happen. Better yet, let someone from from her family tell the situation. 3. If the mother decided to come home, then it would be better. But if not, better to look for someone who can give the girl moral support (if you cannot do it). Better to seek for medical help and encourage the girl to love her unborn child. 4. As for the boy, better for the family to talk to the girls family and give solutions and whats the best way to do in this situation. I know it look better in words and I'm sure its harder to put this things in action. But if one do not do it, then there's a possibility that the situation will turn to uglier than it is now. Better act and act fast.
18 Jan 10
it will be really a hard situation for her parents.may be she would have believed that person but that culprit would have cheated her.already she will be in that stress so instead of scolding her,her parents should advice her that she should realise the mistake she did and make her concentrate in some other field of studies,and encourage her to achieve something great in that field. have a nice day
18 Jan 10
It's a very hard situation. If I am the mother who is working abroad and I've known my daughter was pregnant of course it would crash my world, it would break my heart into pieces knowing I didn't fail to give her advises. I would surely feel sad about it but then it was over and done so I can't do anything about it except to accept reality. I would definitely let her go on with her pregnancy, keeping the baby and tell her to take care of herself especially that she is having a baby in her womb. On the other hand, I will not let her marry the guy or force the guy to marry her since they are too young. My daughter is still too young but it doesn't mean that she will have no future ahead if she will have a baby in a young age. I guess from her experience it will make her a better person full of dreams and hopes. So I will not turn my back from her but instead love her like before.
• United States
18 Jan 10
I think that I'd have to say, for lack of a better fitting term, I'd be biased. My mother was 13 when she had my late brother. Growing up, it seemed the thing always on my mind was how young the ladies in my family were with having children. I can't really think of the age my aunt was, but I think my grandmother was only a few years older then my mom when my grandmother had her first child. I don't think that it's a big problem as long as the mother takes responsibility for the child inside her, and that she learns her lesson, if indeed, a lesson is needed to be learned. After all, I'm sure many women over the centuries have had children at a young age, if you think about it a lot of people were once arranged in marriage, and sometimes the lady was older then the man. As long as dowry was paid, it was fine for the girl to be married off. Now please forgive me if my assumptions are wrong about dowry, I do not mean to offend. Truthfully I don't know how said situations were. Now as for in a counselor's point of view, I would most likely try to counsel the girl and ask her how she's feeling, try to get her to talk, and give her advice when needed, let her know that I am there for her, without making her feel pressured. If were the parent of said child, I could not say that I would not be a bit irked, but I would be their for the girl, and also do my best to let her know that she is loved no matter what, and that the child she is carrying will be safe, and taken care of. I will make her realize that she needs to take responsibility for the child and that while I'll help to raise the child, I won't be taking full responsibility and that when she turns the legal age to work, I expect her to find work.
• Hong Kong
18 Jan 10
I would suggest the following: 1. Keep an eye on the girl if you can to make sure she doesn't do anything silly to herself or her baby. 2. Inform her parents asap. 3. Suggest her parents to seek professional help, e.g. medical doctors, social workers, counselers, etc.
18 Jan 10
This is a very difficult situation that cannot be undone so they have to accept te way things have turned out to be, the girl should be learn to be prepared to face the music, it is not easy taking care of a child especially when you are still one. It is difficult to understand sacrificing ones time and resources to take care of a child. So as much as possible, the girls mind should be condition to be willing to accept her fate.
18 Jan 10
Hi,its a tough question to be answered.Parents working cant give much time for their children .Fourteen years is very young age to be a mother.She is a kid still.How can she physically give birth to a child.parents should take right action talking with the girl.Doctor suggestion is to be taken.Nothing more we can advice.