to love or to be loved?
January 18, 2010 2:08am CST
tell me what's better..to love but does not loves you back or to be loved but you don't love him/her.
20 Jan 10
Neither is right and both are harmful. However, having been in the situation where I loved someone who did not love me back I would say that it was the worse of the two. If you give your love to someone and you get nothing back then all you do is drain yourself. It leaves you feeling empty and lost. You cannot go on giving forever and get nothing back so it is best to be avoided and if you are the person who is being loved by someone you do not love then you need to release that person and free them. If you break up you can get over it. In my case he walked out on me and I was devastated even though it was good for me long term. I think we did this twice more but I had grown by then and the third time we parted it was because I broke up with him and I knew when I did so that I was free of this one sided love. It was a learning experience for me and helped me grow. Now I have a relationship which is two sided, we love each other and it is just right for me. Never stay in a relationship where there is only love on one side as it is destructive.
26 Jan 10
Thanks for the BR. I should add that it is easy to say break up but can be hard to do. He told me he did not love me but I deluded myself into thinking that if I could become the person he was looking for then maybe it would work. Some people try to change the other, I tried to change myself. The trouble is that he had no idea what he was looking for so I had no idea what to become. He did all the right things in that he let me go but I did not let me go. So when he came back I was willing to start again. This happened once more but that time I realised that I no longer felt the same about him. Oh the physical attraction was still there but I saw him for what he really was, a little boy who was looking for something he would never find because he had no idea what it was. That was when I walked out. It is hard to let go sometimes but it can also be for the best. When you are in a one sided relationship with someone you think you love deeply it blinds you. I have learned the hard way that you cannot change the other person or change yourself to match them. You have to be who you are and one day the person who is right for you will turn up. While you are waiting there are lots of other fish to experiment with. Each experiment is a learning experience that teaches you what you want and what you don't.
• Hong Kong
18 Jan 10
To me, it's always a blessing to love someone who loves you much more than you love him/her. This way, you contribute little but got a lot in return. Just in case the relationship doesn't work out, you would think: "That's sad, but not too bad, because I haven't invested too much in this relationship!" This way of thinking seems a bit too rational, but love has a certain degree of intrinsic reason and reasoning in it.
18 Jan 10
if I have to choose, I'll choose to love because that way I can express my feeling and wont feel guilty because I pretend to love somene that I didn't love. more over I do believe at the end the one that I love will be loving me too after she feel my pure love
18 Jan 10
wow..it's a difficult to answer.i hope it wouldn't happen to me :).the same heartbreak feeling.if i could,i won't choose any of them.lol.but if u push me to choose,okay,i choose the first.i don't want to hurt somebody else's heart.especially when it giving negative affect to his/her life.so,i let myself hurting for the goodness :) happy mylotting!