Do guys really want...

United States
February 5, 2010 9:59am CST
I have time and time again heard of guys complaining that their gf's tell them to be honest and then get upset when they are. Well I always experience this in reverse. Lot's of times guys I am talking to, hanging with, or dating tell me the one thing they can't stand is when a girl doesn't tell them up front when they did something that bugged them, or when they lie to them. We always say that we will be upfront, but then I find that I am both the only one being completely honest, and the guy I am talking to get's upset when I am honest. I am starting to think that I either attract really sensitive guys, or the type of men who want to be lied to. So I was hoping some guys would educate me. Do you really want honesty, or would you prefer to be lied to?
4 responses
@ramos7881 (345)
• United States
5 Feb 10
That is a loaded question. I do not like to be lied to, I insist that my husband be honest with me and I am honest with him. The thing that we have learned is that if the truth will hurt, we do it in such a way as to not hurt the other's feelings. I don't mind if my husband tells me he doesn't like my outfit, as long as he does it nicely - and he usually follows it with, "I think you look really good when you wear..." Then my feelings are not hurt so bad. I know that right now he does not like my hair short, but he doesn't say it everyday, doesn't make comments about it either way - this spares my feelings also.
• United States
5 Feb 10
Out of curiosity, are you male or female? The question wasn't intended to be loaded. Certainly no one wants to have someone tell the truth in a harsh manner, what I mean is when guys get upset no matter how you confront them or tell them the truth.
• United States
5 Feb 10
I am a female. Yes, guys do tend to get defensive when we as women tell them something they do not want to hear. I was lucky enough to find a man that wants to be with me no matter what and seeks my input in almost every decision he makes - we have learned to talk it out when we do have to tell each other something that may hurt the other. The point is that no one, man or woman, like to hear those things, but when you finally do find someone who you want to be with exclusively you will be able to talk about these things - it took several arguments over a period of several years for us to learn this, but we always knew things were ok because after the first couple of arguments we knew the other would not leave.
• United States
8 Feb 10
ramos7881 Your relationship sounds very solid, and I am happy that you are in it with someone as committed to your bond as you are. I think this kind of connection is rare (mostly because folks don't seem to understand that a good relationship requires constant effort), and wish this for the people in my life once they have figured themselves out (since this also doesn't help commitments with others) first, of course.
• Hong Kong
6 Feb 10
yes don't lie to others if you don't want them to lie to you, for some reason maybe the will be mad or hurt by you, still keep in mind that honesty is the best policy to keep up a good relationship and band it more with nothing to lose..
• United States
8 Feb 10
I ran this by my mom and she said when you are honest you never have to remember what you said, lol. I've gotten to the point where it is pretty hard for me to lie. I can't really make sense of why I used to do it, nor why others continue to.
• United States
6 Feb 10
I rather hear the truth then be lied to. I would prefer if someone tells me the truth without being disrespectful. Lucky for me I am not one of those people who get angry very easily.
• United States
8 Feb 10
We have the anger issue in common. I might get frustrated if I don't understand what the other person is saying, but it takes a bit to really get under my skin. I also agree that telling someone the truth in a mean way is counter productive. Thanks for the reply.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
5 Feb 10
hi friend! Of course I prefer to be honest always, because honest is very important in a relationship between a man and a woman, and I think we should trust each other and always tell the truth, because if the other knows that we have some secret it can get very bad for the both
• United States
8 Feb 10
I agree Phoenix8606, as I said before, I only know of one couple out of the people I interact with that are happy, and I think keeping so many secrets and failing to communicate is at the heart of the problem... I love your avatar by the way.