Was I wrong to ask?

United States
February 20, 2010 2:03pm CST
I have a net friend whom I've known for a few years. She's gone thru some big financial woes in the last year or two and ended up filing bankruptcy. I wanted to ask her a question about it, not her personal situation but what they do and don't let you do if heaven forbid we end up down that path. Well she never responded back. So I'm thinking I overstepped a boundary by asking such a question of her? It's been 2 weeks and she's not responded. But I do see many posts from her on FB. Should I ask why she didn't respond? or should I let it go as not everyone is open about their finances but I felt if she could tell our little group that she was filing bankruptcy it was an open topic for discussion or questions.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@ralphido (843)
• India
21 Feb 10
well.. men can be real stingy about their financial status.. but dunno about women.. also..imho, there are only a certain range of topics on which a net friend can comment.. but, it sure wouldn't be great idea to press her on that point,...if she wants to let it go, you should respect her feelings..
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 10
I figure she just doesn't want to discuss it and that's that. Wich I understand. I guess I can say she has not deleted me as a friend so that's one good thing then eh?
@TAZNEM (656)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
if she didn't respond to the question you asked maybe you should just drop it. i think she is a little down right now and that you shouldn't probe on sensitive things like that. but if she is a real friend am sure she'll open up to you when she's ready to talk about things.. that's usually when she recovers..
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 10
that's what I was thinking as well.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
21 Feb 10
facebook - we communicate with my friends in FB.
I have a friend also that was having a problem with her lovelife.It seems that her boyfriends just come and go.She wanted to have serious relationship and have a family.We keep communicating in FB.One day she posed her new bf and they were really sweet.She emailed me and say she's in love and she hope this will be the man she's been hoping for to be with.I replied her back and say congratulations and was happy for her.After a few weeks i never heard from her until on Valentines Day i sent her an email wishing her happiness and everything.Then i asked hows her new relationship?She never emailed me back until now but i saw her online and communicating with others in FB.I think your discussion is a little bit similar with my story only on different situation.I think we both have the same reaction.I felt bad because as far as know we are that close that we are very open to each other.I was thinking maybe the relationship didn't last again and that she's already ashame to open up another story.I hope not because i would really love to hear from her.So i will just wait until she will communicate with me again.I think thats the best we can do.
• United States
21 Feb 10
I hope you will hear from your friend soon. I would assume things are so well that she has not had time to drop you a message? Or is embarassed at another failed relationship.
• United States
21 Feb 10
Well, I guess you were wrong and it wasn't an open topic. If she wanted to discuss it with you, she would have probably already brought it up to you. Also, if she answered that one question, she may have thought you'd have others that she didn't feel comfortably about discussing. It's very personal and you talk if you want, to whom you want and trust and feel comfortable with. I know.
• United States
21 Feb 10
I suppose you are right but if you don't want it up for discussion then don't mention it. KWIM? And I didn't bring it up other than via e-mail that I had a question about an aspect of it not her situation but what does she know about various aspects of it and before you get to that point. Oh well life rolls on I guess you can say...
• United States
20 Feb 10
Well, even tho your not asking her about her personal finances it just may be a touchy subject with her. I do think she could have at least responded to you and told you that she is uncomfortable talking about it. I filed one a long time ago and the laws were different back then so I dont think I can be of much help. All I can say is it not something to be ashamed of, you are doing what you have to do, the creditor's are way out of control and you have to do what you need to do to take back your financial freedom. I am also against "credit counceling" They are also crooks in my book. Stayed with one for over a year paying them to get the creditors to "lower my interest rate's" It never happened and my credit got worse not better. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 10
I know I would want to know why as well. I think she may be a bit shame right now. I would not say anything to her. As for face book let her be and wish her the best. I would want to share this so others would not make the same mistakes.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 10
I can see being ashamed of it. But I dunno it's bugg'n me as our group was very tight (til moving onto FB) and could ask anything w/ few limitations and get a response. I haven't posted anything and I haven't posted to her comments on her page either. You are right it would be helpful to share some of the knowledge of your experiences to help others avoid or go handle going thru the same situation.