getting married because she's pregnant?

Philippines
March 12, 2010 7:21pm CST
Do you think it's a good idea to get married simply because you're pregnant? For men, should you get married your gf because she's pregnant with your baby, even if you're not ready?
2 people like this
16 responses
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Oh no. Not a good idea. The kid would only suffer the consequences because he will be more of an obligation to both parties. Instead of growing in a loving environment, the child would grow up knowing that he is indebted to both his parents.
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Yeah, you're right, if both parties were not ready then definitely it will create huge problems and conflict in the future and the one that will suffer is definitely the child. So in this matter both parties should think carefully on what is better and best. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
• Singapore
13 Mar 10
i think for a man who has made their girl friend to get pregnant should take responsible to their action , even the man is not ready for the wedding yet but how about the girl and the baby . it is just irresponsible ,
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Yeah, actually it could not be good if the man going to married a girl when he's not ready, emotionally and financially because it will only end up in trouble in the near future. Everything should be taken into consideration especially on the welfare of the child. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
@frissph (130)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Getting married because a girl is pregnant would be a decision both parties would have to talk about. if they feel that they could raise the kid in a good enough matter yet feel that their relationship isn't a point that they would have to go up to that kind of commitment then by all means they should go for it. What's important in this situation is the responsibility the father will be bearing since it's a given that the mother will be there for the child. If the father fulfills his role properly and is able to fully nurture the child then i don't think marriage will be an issue.
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Yeah, you have your point. The most important thing is both of them know and are willing to support and give their best for the sake of the child, whether getting married or not. It's something that should need to agree with both parties in order for the welfare of all of them. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your weekends!
@abhi_bangal (3686)
• India
13 Mar 10
I think it is a bad idea to get pregnant before marriage. Why to do acts that will land you in trouble? I will never have done that had I been a girl. Marriage is a safe turn in life where you can get physical with your mate. And if you are not ready to wait till you get married to have the physical things going, then I think you should at least marry off or do not worry about marriage if you get pregnant before marriage.
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Yeah, it could be really a bad idea if you're trapped into that kind of situations and you're not ready to face the consequences of your actions. A huge responsibility that wait's ahead for both of you and since you're on that situations the best thing is to do what is right and good for the baby. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
13 Mar 10
i am not against the idea but i dont think that you should make that decision because you have a child together. It should be because you both love each other.
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Yeah, that's the right reason should be in order to get married and not because one is pregnant. What should taken consideration is the future of the child and what's best for the baby and of course for the couple. There are so many things that should be given a careful thoughts before jumping into a lifetime commitment. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
@Gany15k (1674)
• India
13 Mar 10
Yes of course.Just understand the girl's position.It is very bad if she is pregnant without marriage.The society will make her feel very bad about this.And if you are good lover and feel the way what she feels then you should marry.Otherwise you would not have done with her..and this situation should not come to a girl.The boys should think before what they are doing...and should not leave the new born baby without initials...
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Yeah, that's what every man should consider and thought before taking those kinds of actions. They should be ready and prepared of the consequences that might happens. It could be very hard for the woman to get pregnant without a real husband. You're right, the society will judge them like in some cultures they will look down those kind of women. And of course in the woman's family, it could be hard to accept for parents having their daughter a baby without a father. However what still matter is what is best for both of them especially for the baby. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
@jugsjugs (13042)
13 Mar 10
No i do not think that getting married is a good idea all because the person is pregnant.There are alot of familys that are out there that are not married bringing up children and they are fine.There are also alot of people that get married only to find out that even with a child the relationship will not work out.Noone should get married only for the reason there will be a baby and neither should they rush into a marriage.
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Yeah, you're right! There are many people who brought up their children well even if they didn't get married. Usually nowadays marriage is something like a formality, it doesn't work often and couple break up soon. Couple should get married simply because they want to spend together and they're ready for a lifetime commitment and not because they have a baby. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
• United States
13 Mar 10
that is the worse reason to ever get married. My boyfriend married his ex because of his daughter. he was married two years and live in hell. I left my marriage for my daughter. I think people should really think this over before stepping in p...
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Yeah, marriage is a lifetime commitment and that needs a serious thoughts. It's easy to get married but hard to stay in a marriage life. It could either be the best or worst solution anyone could come up when the girl is pregnant. It's a choice that needs a thorough thoughts. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
@maximax8 (29138)
• United Kingdom
16 Mar 10
I think that it is a good idea to get married if you are totally in love and are fully compatible with one another. I don't think it is a sensible idea to get married just because the lady is pregnant. If a relationship is shaky getting married won't cement it. If a marriage doesn't go well divorce is the answer and that can hurt a child greatly in the two years after their parents split. A lady and a man have to be ready to get married. If a wedding is rushed into the couple might make a mistake. These days it is acceptable to be a single mother or for a lady to date a man instead of live with or marry him. A father can be a good parent from afar.
@hanah87 (1842)
• Malaysia
15 Mar 10
I do not agree with the statement that the girl should married because are pregnant. It is because it should not be a life style and would destroy holy married which is show a good norm and value. The good mother would born a good child but i am not say that bad mother born a bad child too because the children are not guilty. However it is bad value or norm and could destroy our married institution if we let woman and man married just because the woman is pregnant.
@sublime03 (1810)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
I really think it depends on how deep the relationship is. I think it really depends on both parties because if the other one is not prepared and the other is then it might turn out not so good. I have a few of my close friends who got married but had a rough start but later on got back with each other. of course you have to give the relationship a chance if for example you got married just for the sake of it. If one party gives up easily then definitely it will not turn out good. All I can say is if you are not ready then do not get married for the mean time and maybe get married down the line after the child comes out or whatever.
@TheAdvocate (2395)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Most definitely not. For me, the only reason to get married is when two people love each other so much that they cannot see themselves without the other in the future. Getting married just because the girl is pregnant is a recipe for disaster unless they love each other anyway and the pregnancy was just a delightful mistake.
• Canada
13 Mar 10
I do not agree with this. I myself am in this boat right now. I am almost 8 months pregnant and my BF and I live together. I refuse to get married at least until after I am pregnant but that is my choice. I would NEVER get married just because I got pregnant. We are getting married because we love eachother not because we are having a baby. You have to do what is right for you and if your not ready for marriage than you shouldn't do it just to make someone else happy.
@tina256 (190)
• China
13 Mar 10
for me ,as i am a female ,i think this is a issue of responsibility. every men should protect his girlfriend .sure,if just like do it so freely,i can not say anything . but if someone pregnant ,maybe get married will be the best choice to solve problem.
@scja16 (322)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
It is not a bad idea if we get married if the girl is pregnant as long as they are both in love and sure of each other. But the problem is when the family of one side insist to have a marriage just because they dont want people around them talks about the situation. For me i even though my wife is pregnant and her parents already knew our relationship but they respect my decision that we will get married after the pregnancy. We both love each other but we do not want to rush things out and plan every details about the wedding. We want to have a great wedding and most importantly we are ready for it. God bless
• United States
13 Mar 10
This is based on what is best for the child. Problem is, people tend to get so wrapped around themselves or the relationship because they're not yet fully mature or prepared. If you and your partner can make the relationship work out and keep it without resentments, yes, you should get married. I've seen it happen, it has worked out for the best for other families. If it will just hurt you, your partner, or your baby then don't- you must consider the effect of your relationship will have on the child. I wish you the best of luck.