Dealing with housemaids...
By eM
@eLsMarie (4346)
Philippines
March 13, 2010 1:35am CST
God knows how much I respect our housemaids but this woman was terrible. Me together with my two cousins can't stand her attitude. She was friendly at first but she turned a monster after awhile. She was my cousin's house helper but they weren't close because she was given only the task to wash dirty clothes. Almost half of her life, she served my cousin's family. Since my favorite housemaid left, she became the replacement. Though I find her quite okay at first, I gave her much respect. She knows very well that we trusted her so much and we're having a problem of replacing her because we can't just trust somebody else since my family are staying in our province. My cousin told me that our housemaid was acting as if she was the owner of the house because she demands so much from my other cousin (boy). I had issues on her in the past since she can't clean my room well and she destroys my clothes. My cousins were brothers and sisters and as a result, my girl cousin got mad to her. Our housemaid acts very kind whenever my parents drop by in the city but is mean whenever they're no longer here. I have so many problems at school and by the time I get home, I still have problems. I expect too much from our housemaid. I told my mom everything but she told me that we should be patient when it comes to dealing with her because we can't still search for someone who'll replace her. We can no longer stand it. We're all studying and she's adding stress to our lives everyday. Whenever I see her, I couldn't help but to wish that she'll leave but then again, we were left to have no choice but to remain good to her. What can you say about this person guys? I'm sorry...I just can't stand it. She's acting so mean already. Whenever we confront her she'll always tell us that she'll leave instead and we were force to stop her because we won't have guardians anymore an no one will take good care of our house.
4 people like this
8 responses
@broery2081 (160)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 10
It is painful to find out that someone who's been with you under one roof has betrayed your trust but these things happen. Makes you wiser. Time to move on. Good luck. I did have a real bad experience with them but all I do is, I stopped having one! you can't even depend them ! you're better of hiring houseboy once or twice a week instead as they don't really gossip or spread rumors about you!
1 person likes this
@broery2081 (160)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 10
Well I have an idea.. why don't you hire an additional housemaids. Two birds in a cage, hmm I think that'll increase the competition. And of course will make the old one restless about getting fired. And at the same time you can see if the new one can work as good as the old one.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
It's really difficult to have housemaids every now and then because most of them now a days tend to be reckless and short tempered. you can't picture them being negatively working until they got bored and wants out of the job. but as long as they feel needed, then that's where they're real color starts to comeout
we had experience maid that's so abusive that she decided to steal stuff and make false accusations!
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Sorry to hear that problem about your helper. But then the situation right now is to be patient because as you have said, there will be no one to look after you since you are studying.
Now what I can suggest is that to teach her something about proper cooking, cleaning and washing. I do hope you have given her a schedule to keep so that everything at home will be in proper order and timing. If you are not satisfied with how she cooks, then teach her the proper way how to so that just in case she cooks again, it will be according to your standards, same goes or applies to household chores and washing of clothes or ironing.
Now the only question that remains is, will she be able to pick up what you told her or what you will teach her. If not or if she don't follow what you told her, then ask your mom to look for replacement because a hard headed servant is no good at all. You have found a big rock that will knock your own head.
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
I'm clueless to when will patience lasts... :'( We always taught her the requires chores and she assumes that she already understands but then again she's not. I wish my mom will took actions in order for us to finally resolve this problem because our housemaid is really terrible.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
17 Mar 10
Your last line said that you "were force to stop her because we won't have guardians anymore an no one will take good care of our house"...
I have a few questions about that, you say "guardians" here in the US that means parental as in someone to take care of you personally, What does Guardian mean to you?
Also you say the maid messes up your clothing and your room isn't cleaned well yet you say "no one will take good care of our house" if she's messing your clothes up and not cleaning you room to your liking is she not being a maid that is "not taking care of your house"... I'd get rid of her and make due until you can get another maid.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
18 Mar 10
No it is quite alright, I merely have one question more. She is your housemaid so as to say she cleans and cooks for you but she also doubles as your guardian in the sense that she is liable for your safety?
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Here in the Philippines we consider elder people who live in the same place that were staying as guardians. She's liable for everything that might happened to us inside the house so she's considered a guardian. I hope that's clear to you. I think there's a difference between washing clothes and guarding/protecting the house against bad people. My message have a lot of interpretations so I apologize for not having it clear for you and for the rest of my mylot friends.
1 person likes this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Well if that is the set up then you have to wait until you find someone who is more gentle , caring and not mean. Until you find it then you could quickly replace her since you're the one who pay her and have all the say if she complain she should leave you. The more you conceited her attitude the more she could act dominant toward you as something you owe her much which should not be the turning of events she should be the one to be afraid she only a worker and you as the boss should be the rulers and not her and if those similar situation happen in other family it would be lucky for her to last for days and she just so lucky you were kind to her if she found other bosses she may regret it later because they are more strict and not tolerant as the behavior exhibited by your family toward her..
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
I was really force to wait... I have never been this patient all my life... :( It's like going home is a problem because I know that she's there. My mom hates her but she's still good to our housemaid and I know that she's also feeling the same feeling that we have.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
hello elsemarie,
that's so sad to hear. i can't believe you're allowing such a mean mannered housemaid to over haul the house. worst, what if she decides to steal or something, that's one thing she hasn't done yet i hope.
You know, you can always call an agency and hire a professional maid, instead of just putting up with a maid from another family. talk to your mom again and search for man power agencies that can hire qualified maids.
keep your private stuff to maid who is freakishly frustrated.@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
Hello Letran! :) I think agencies aren't really that common here in Cagayan de Oro like there in Luzon... She was my cousin's relative but they weren't really that close. I think she was my uncle's cousin. I think my mom was just passive about it because we can't juat easily hire sombody else.
@UnivalveX (9)
• United Arab Emirates
13 Mar 10
Getting a housemaid isn't hard these days. There are many offices and companies just addressed for providing you with labor-workers. You and your cousins are going to have to put your foot down and convince your mother to get a new maid. Give her some sort of proof. Perhaps a recording of what happens between you and the maid?
You could try and talk with your housemaid. Or you could just deal with her. Can you stand to let her go if you can or will you regret if she leaves even if you can get a replacement?
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Hi elsmarie :)
Gosh I too have the same problem. I can't stand our housemaid too. We just hired her last January and despite that she's just new I can already observe unpleasant things she's doing. She always say foul words as her expression and though we are grown-ups already and we already know that we should not say foul words, still it does not sound good to hear people who keep on saying bad words especially when you're not used to it. She also smoke about twice or thrice a day and it's not really good for my sinusitis.
Once, my brother also found hairs and some dirty stuffs in our food that's why usually I'm scared to eat and when I do I usually invite our maid with us so that I can be sure that there aren't any other "ingredients" on the food.
Worst, my mom always say the same thing. We should just tolerate her because there's no one to replace her. You see, with all our past maids; I haven't doubted with all of them except this maid. I have doubts that she may do something I really hope not. Even before she goes here, I already have doubts. I don't know but I hope those are not true and may God guide us always.
Anyway, sorry if I didn't help you with your problem. But your parents also have a point that we as children should just deal with her in the best way possible. As for us, I think I can still stand her; but if you really think she's already doing "intolerable" things you can stand up to what you really feel and tell it to your mom consistently so that she'll understand.
Just like you, God knows how much I respect housemaids. But the one we have now is worse so along with the burden the best solution I have is to pray so that she won't do things based on my doubts.
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
My gosh! Your housemaid is really terrible also... I'm gad that my housemaid isn't a smoker but her breath stinks... LOL We're dealing with the same stupid situation. I hope that our parents would realize that our housemaids aren't really that worth it. Whenever our housemaid cooks our food, I can't stand it but to vomit it to the comfort room because she cooks food disgustingly.
2 people like this
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
I have difficulty as well with my my helper who watches my son. Last year, I had a helper who was a bit down in the brians department. Not that I think of her so low but she was just too much for me but ever since she got lost with my son in the mall, I got scared. She got lost in the mall with my son and so she was able to text me with someone's phone but forgot to mention where they were exactly. My son would have scratches or stuff because she was not able to watch my son properly outside. So I had to let her go since she was lying also. She lied about spanking my son and that is something I will not tolerate.
