An 10-year Old Child try to hide from his friends he has a broken Family :-)
@primeaque86 (8105)
Philippines
March 22, 2010 11:48am CST
Please try to impart your time reading this. I want you to know all that I had just received the phone call of my Aunt and we talk a seemingly endless discussion tonight. I was enjoying my discussion here when my phone rang. I wished it was a good news but it was as awful as I was expecting it.
She and my Uncle had just filed and annulment case. This is my first time to heard from my Aunt side after for 3 long years as I was always hearing my uncle's side. I love them so much that I could not just imagine how their lives turned out this way.
I know that my Uncle is a good boy. But I could not imagine how he turned into a monster he even neglected his children... And even cursed his own mother. It was a long story I could afford to write them all here.
Now my uncle is living with his mistress miles away from Davao. It was to painful to think that his own little child is hiding the story of his parent s from his classmates even they know that he has broken family.
He wrote an autobiography telling all about himself and lastly telling about his family. My aunt told me she was crying after teaching him to write it. He told his mother that he would say:
We are so happy as a whole family. My mother and Father is loving each other. We are so happy that they love us so much. We always pray at night together. We always go to mall for shopping every Sunday after Church... We are so blessed...
And then he told my Aunt that he wrote it so that his teacher and classmates would not know that his father was away for another woman.
I could not just help myself but cry. I know that this whole thing has a great moral lesson to all of us.
A 10-year old child had able to lie for the sake of his family. I do not care about my Uncle now... What I am thinking all about is his 3 little kids... they are so vulnerable...
I want you to read this my friends... and please tell me what to do. I could not help them bring back their family again for sure, but what is the least thing I can do?
5 people like this
22 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
23 Mar 10
The very least you can do is be there for your cousins. Be a big brother to them . And Never , ever bad mouth their dad. He may be an a$$hole but he Is their father and they will always love him.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
23 Mar 10
We can never know what happens between two people when they are a couple.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Yes sarah, that's a great idea... I can be always a big brother to them as I always be. No, I could not ever say bad things to my Uncle. He is a good boy. I just can't imagine what on earth he turned into that. I know because he was influenced by someone...
1 person likes this
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I'm sorry to tell you my friend but I really can't search for a better solution in order to solve this predicament since there is a kid involve. Whatever the outcomes of it, it's very impossible that the kid wouldn't be just passive about it. He wrote those letter because he wanted to protect his family much more his father. It's just so sad that the child was the one who is willing to give out unconditional love for his parents. He is young and I believe that he already has the capability to think of not only himself but most especially his family. With regards to your uncle, we can't do nothing about it because your aunt and cousin will surely suffer if he'd stay together with them. I just can't help but sympathize the child because at a very young age, he already experienced this kind of problem. It's not easy to pretend that everything is okay and I hope that the child would remain strong for the rest of his life. I would pray that he won't do such things that will contribute from destroying his life.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Yes, I miss him so much now... I could not just help myself from crying my friend... I could not just imagine how he wrote it...
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Perhaps it's the only way my friend... But I am afraid he could not come back anymore from his family. I saw her last Christmas, He was a fat big guy... and he is so good... I do not know why he able to do it... My Aunt told me he is like skin and bone now...
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Mar 10
It is very precious and sweet to hear your aunt's little boy who is going to write a paper telling that his family are loving and all together, that nothing had changed and that all was good. Though I do worry that the boy needs a father figure in his life. Your aunt must be having a hard time with all as is, and a mother can only do so much for her children that a father figure can make up for by doing what he can for his children.
I would suggest just spending time with the family when you can, have fun with the children teach them to throw a ball, or take them places, this would also help your aunt to whom would have some time for herself.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you my friend... We haven't talk with her a long time ago s I am always listening to my uncle's side... but now that I have heard here... I a falling down from my feet... She miss me so much as I am the only one to listen to her before... Maybe by Sunday I could set aside all my work to go there. I want to see and hug them...
1 person likes this
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Yes, and I am trying to be strong now... I don't want to show to them that I am weaken too... I want to encourage the children to study hard... as they are affected also... She told me that their scores were really different before... My nephews and 5 years old niece are intelligent kids... Thank you my friend for being here...
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Mar 10
It's always hard to hear both sides of the story. You want to believe them both but your pulled towards one side for one reason or another. Now that you've heard both you understand and want to go be there for your aunt, I am glad. I hope you have fun and do give them a hug!
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
23 Mar 10
Hi Prime, you know I am not used to read a long post like this here on mylot. Usually when I take a look at some post and it's too long I right away navigate away from it. But this topic is worth reading for. I am so sad about your nephew, nephew right? I couldn't imagine myself into this kind of relationship. If I was that boy probably I have this enormous hatred to my father and the world. I guessed it would have made me bitter to a lot of things the world had to offer. But this boy made a positive reaction out of a negative situation. Lying made him feel better so I didn't think it was wrong move. If it boosted his ego, why not right? He still thought it was wonderful to lie rather than be criticized in school. I even admire this kid, nobody can have a thought like he did. If I was him, I might have told the truth and lose my confidence. But he did the opposite. You know Prime, you can not do anything about your aunt and uncle. I know you have good intentions to reunite them but they are the ones who can solve their problem. You aren't living with them so I guess you don't know everything that's going on between them. I know there's always a reason why they go on separate lives. It's just a reality we can not stop. If at the end of the road they still be back in each other only time will tell. Maybe the best you can do is take much time to talk with your aunt and the kids. I know they are into a difficult time right now. But all wounds tend to heal in time. I ask you to pray for them, I'll pray too so that they will have the strength to carry on with life even without your uncle. Thanks very much Prime for posting a great topic like this. Though it's sad but we can take lesson from this. God bless!It's me, Ate Meticulo!
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
I am so glad that you are here my friend meticulo... And thank you so much for not navigating away. Yes, his deed was worth spending time for. Yes, he is my 10-year old nephew. In fact I wasn't able to help myself but cry like a child when my aunt told me about this specially that I heard his voice on the phone. He is not really a behave one he often encountered some quarrels in school I couldn't believe he is a verygood child. Yes, you are right, he preferred to lie than to tell that truth even all of his classmates know already about this. I was there at there house for 2 years i guess when I was in college. Their live was so peaceful before. When I leave there, I've starting to hear about this rumors between them, between Uncle and his mistress... and I am always hearing his side when we talked in the phone... I just made my ear to listen to my Aunt's side yesterday. You are right, only the two of them can resolve their problem now, but only time can tell.
I could not say bad words to my Uncle because I know from the very beginning that he was a good boy, a good husband and father, I do not know if my Aunt lacks care or something but I do not care about that now. The only thing I want to do now is be with the kids. I even heard him telling his that He miss me. I have a life in my own so it's real hard to be there always as it takes time to travel to their residence. But I will do all my best to be there at least once a week.
Thank you very much for the prayer my friend... Ate Meticulo... Thank you for the advices, this can mean a lot to me....
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
No, perhaps I am not really related to her...I am in the side of my Uncle, we are cousins, I am not even sure that his son is my nephew, is nephew and niece is the term for that? But they are the closest persons to me. When I left the province, my Uncle offered me that he would helped me handle my expenses in College... so there I live at there house, having a long trip each day to the university. And I am so thankful to them. And I love my aunt because she is a kind woman. Even my uncle was out of work before for a month or two, she still treated me as her own cousin too... She would always think of my payment day, and she would always allocate money for it... and now, I know it's my time to give back. I want to be near them. The name of the boy is Joshua, he is very cute. I could not imagine what on earth my Uncle neglected his very cute and loving kids. He even told me before Christmas that he was already working the annulment, I asked about the kids, and he told me they were allright because he had all the support... but it was just the opposite... because he was no longer caring them... Very had Ate meticulo...
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
23 Mar 10
Yes, I didn't navigate away..Your welcome!
Is your aunt a sister of your father or mother? You must have a very close family since you have lived with them for 2 years. I know it's really hard for you too because you want if not best but a happy family life for them. I can honestly feel your sadness and concerned. Truly, the kids of a broken family suffer as much as the parent. They still have a very young mind but they are expose already to this unpleasant memory. A ten year old boy is in his almost delicate stage of being a teenager. So your being an elder cousin will play a great role in dealing with his growing up years. It's good that you keep in touch with them as often as you can or possibly visit them every once in a while. But it's only for these times, since you still have a life of your own and also it's good that they will be used to a life where your uncle is not there. I guess it will help in any way than being dependent for your presence. We'll this is just my opinion. Know that your decision will matter most in the end. Stay cool!
@strawberrybaby39 (2086)
• United States
23 Mar 10
Prime I understand how you feel.I know you are hurting and crying over this. Be there for the kids and your aunt. You uncles had done very wrong leaving your aunt and his kids for another women. But the women he is with would be know better then your uncle because she just split up a family. And your aunt and the kids are hurting over his mistake. He will learn one day about his mistake and who he hurt. Prime the best thing you can do is just pray and God will take care of everything know matter how bad it looks. I know that your nephew is hurting inside right now. My heart goes out to your family and the little ones.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
Hi Sally , thank you so much my friend... I am always praying now... I hope they'd be fine... I am always thinking about the kids... Oh, yes, I was really so upset when I wrote this post, I was angry with my Uncle, and I am sorry now for telling that... now, I know that I still love him, he is a good man before, and I know he is still a good man now... he have been been influenced by bad people i know, but as soon as he get to realize the truth, I know he would be sorry too... yes, thank you for reminding me Sally. I don't have bible but I go to church... I am a Roman Catholic Believer, I have many friends in your religion my friend, they are good people like you...
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Thank you so much sally for the concern. yes, the only best thing I can do now is pray. Prayer has a great power, I have just reminded myself about that my friend... I know that God will not forsake them. I know that He will guide them and carry them in this dark side of their lives. And the best thing for me to do to support them emotionally. And you know Sally, as I am thinking it over and over again, it's not really appropriate that I said I do not care about my Uncle anymore. Of course, I still are for him. And I am still hoping that he would realize and come back to his real family and repent for all those things he have done... but if not, I still wish his happiness... i just realized that all of us deserve to be happy. All I have now is the prayer, that whatever would be the final result of this trial, there would be still a happy ending to both of them...
@strawberrybaby39 (2086)
• United States
24 Mar 10
Your welcome Prime. I am here for you anytime you need to talk even when you are going through hard times like this. Pray for your uncle God will deal with him in his own way. Sometimes we say things we don't mean Prime. Like when you said you didn't like your uncle anymore because of what he did. But we all say things when we are upset. Even I have. Do you go to church Prime or read your bible? What is your religion Prime? Mine is Penticostal.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
22 Mar 10
Nothing is more sad in life than a family torn apart. That is why Love, Trust and Respect is the most important things in any relationship, as your children will see and learn this from you as their parents. It is heartbreaking to hear a 10 year old lie, just for the sake of his family. But don't be to harsh on your uncle, as you know what love can really make people do. It is only you who can decide what you will do. I will think of you and will always be here when you need me. PALAAM.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you from coming... Saphrina... without you here, I have nothing to share with with...
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you saphrina... I am badly needing you now... I could not just imagine how a young mind could do it... and they are so vulnerable to pain... as they were so happy before...
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
24 Mar 10
well,first,i feel sorry for ur uncle's family.i think in an broken family the children are the most vulnerable,and since a man and woman have been together for so many yrs and having their kids.They still have some love more or less on each other.And lots of men who leave with another woman will think about the past happy time he shared with his family.
so,for the sake of the children,everyone should try to maintain an integrate family,unless it can't be integrated any more.i mean unless by all means the husband and the wife can't be together any more.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
Hi April,
Thank you for coming... yes, I am always praying that time will come they will rebuild their family once again... even if they are loving each other, perhaps for their kids' sake... I know that they need them both...
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
These kids are brave, especially your nephew. Be strong for them, and keep telling them positive things and that they will do well in life and all that. But like Sarah has said, still teach them to respect their dad, no matter what.. although he is just a distant memory. Life will take path by itself and you are such a good person to care for them. Such a loving family.. and I wish them nothing but the best. Maybe you can make them forget their sorrows by bringing them out when school holiday arrives and stuff like that..
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
Thank you for the concern Zed... You are really a true friend to me...
@momjessie82 (344)
• United States
23 Mar 10
This is a heartbreaking story. I am so sorry for the heartbreak and upset that your family is going through. This is becoming more and more common everyday in our world. I am a single mother with 4 beautiful children. My daughter's father left when she was 2 months old because she was not a girl. My sons' fathers cheated and did not want to be parents. For a long time, I blamed myself and thought for sure I was doing something wrong and it was my fault that we were no longer together. I finally came to realize that it was really nothing to do with me or my children. It was simply a matter of men that did not want to grow up and accept their responsibility. I do my absolute best to raise my children the best that I can and make their lives as complete as I have the power to.
As for your aunt and your nephew, the best that you can do for them is to show them all the love and support that you possibly can. Be there for them as much as you can. A family that is torn apart is that it hurts everyone involved and the pain takes a lot of time and sometimes never completely goes away. But, a loving family and having support and family members to rely on can make a huge difference and help with the healing.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Oh thank you mom, and I am sorry to hear your story too... but you cope up with it completely, aren't you? I know my Aunt can recover soon too. She is brave. I don't know for the children if they continue longing for their father. My uncle was not this bad before. He is a loving father even he has a low temper and he would easily get mad. He was a responsible Father. I am trying to figure out what is the reason why he afforded to neglect his own family. He hated those guys in fact before, he even told me he could not afford to hurt his family. But he just forgot those promises. I know someone had influenced him. And yes, I want to support them emotionally. I want to be always at their side now but I just can't. We know we have our own lives to do too... but I will set some time to see them... I am so sad that this is happening to them... why not before that they have no children yet? Why now that they have 3 little kids who wants their both love already...
@momjessie82 (344)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I do cope with it the best way that I can. Granted life is hard at times and I wish that my children had a father in their lives. However, there is nothing that I can do to change the actions of their fathers so therefore, I just have to persevere and overcome and do my best. The children will long for their father but, over time it will get easier and they will adjust to their new lives.
As for your uncle, it is hard to say. My boys' father was very caring and doted on the children, including my daughter. Then, for whatever reason he chose to be with someone else and leave us. I don't think anyone ever understands why someone would leave their family and give everything up. Maybe he thinks that he is in love with this other person or there is something about her that is drawing him in.
I understand you not being able to physically be there with your aunt and the children at this time. However, you can still support them no matter how far away you are. Just make sure they know that you love them and will be there to help them as much as you can through this time. I assure you it does get easier with time.
@momjessie82 (344)
• United States
23 Mar 10
No, I do not believe that any mother would ever wish for her children to grow up without a father.
Those influences that he is following are very hard, but not impossible to overcome. It is all about his desire and what he truly wants out of life. No one can make that ultimate decision but your uncle himself. I do not know if his mistress is brainwashing him, it is possible. But, he sees something in her that he doesn't in your aunt.
I am very glad to be here and be able to offer you whatever advice I can on this matter. I wish you and your family the best in all of this.
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I know how this feels because my story is somewhat related to it. Support them in every way you can specially now when they need a family to cry on. Thank you for sharing this, I can't add anything this discussion got me too emotional that I couldn't find the right words to say. Love your nephews as if they are your own
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi hex... thanks for coming. I have the same feeling with you when I was writing this posts... I was in my tears to tell you honestly. Now, I am fine because I had seen them already, and I guess they are allright... what I have to do now is support them emotionally... and I am sorry to hear that you have a story like this...
@krisnel (498)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
i feel sorry for the children especially the boy. imagine a ten year old boy wroted that just to not to let the others know that they are now a broken family. the best thing to do is to be realized and to be accept by the boy about the reality. explain to him that he should not be ashamed of what happen to their family. tell to him that it is not their fault to have a broken family. in this kind of world there are so many stories like what happen to them.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
That a sad story.
I think that was the child comfort zone. Having a happy family.
It sad to say and maybe harsh but I think your aunt and your uncle must talk to the child and explain every thing. Tell him that its not his fault. Let him understand that having a broken family is not bad at it seem. Yes he has no father but still he has a mother who love him so much. And also a father who even have a new family also love him too.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
I am hoping that Uncle would come and tell that to the kids my friend as he seemed not going there anymore...
@Cherwin2010 (878)
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
this things could happen to every family if one of them are weak of every trials and temptation. your uncle is selfish. it doest matter to him what his family became when he left it., what is the important for him is his only happiness which is to other woman. but they do not know it affect mostly to their children. and the impact of other people towards them.. so petty, but this is the reality. what you have do to is comfort them, and gave them an advice which can relieved the hurts what they have for now.. show to them that there are many people who loved them so much even their father left them.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
Thank you for your kind sharing cherwin... You are really a true friend to me... you are advice is taken...
@Ramsesxlll (1431)
• Finland
22 Mar 10
That is mostly only in their hands, but you could always help them financially or mentally. You could visit them and help them in any way you can.
I know that it is hard when something like that happens, but we got to keep together with our families :D
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
You are too young to say that Ram...I like it... Thank you so much bro...
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Mar 10
I guess that the least you could do is spend time with them and be there for them.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you dawnald... by Sunday, I will be having my trip there...
@daliaj (5674)
• India
23 Mar 10
Nobody prefers to have a broken family. It is sad or embarassing to tell others about having a broken family. Children are victims of broken families in many cases. Nobody in this world can actually replace the positon of your real father or mother. Blood is always thicken than water. Even if you have a father who takes care of you very well, you will still be longing for your real father and dream about being with him.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Thank you for the sharing daliaj. Yes, it is true... and blood is always thicker than water...
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
That's right junmae... the kids are the most affected this moment of time...
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
That is very sad. I hope that society will stop frowning upon families that are broken because things like this do happen. I also hope that kids who are from broken families will be able to survive the break-up. It is a very sad situation to be in and the kid is only trying to cope with society's expectations by lying. That's too bad.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I agree Cutie... and in fact it really broke my heart. I am praying that they can survive. I know that my Aunt is strong but I really sad for the kids as I know they need a father as they will grow... but if Uncle would continue hurting my Aunt then the least I can do is wish he would never come back...
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you tomi... That's what I am thinking now... The only problem I have is I am away from them and I have my own life to make too... But I would try my best at least once a week I could visit there...
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Right now the separation will be really heavy. And there is a lot of emotional stress. It really shows just how much love the child has learned. True he is showing unconditional love for his parents. And all that matters to him is to make sure everything is okay. It must be hard for you to be apart from them since the best thing you can do right now is be with them. Try to keep tabs on them as much as possible especially your niece and nephews. Right now they need the thought that there are other people that will accept them for who they are, and no matter what happens they will always be loved. Help him accept that this might be a good turn for their family, something that might help his father realize his mistakes and realize that they are loved by his father. Maybe his father was going through something that they were not really aware of which caused him to hurt his family. He's an adult, i'm sure he will realize what he's done. but for the children, help your Aunt realize that there is someone they can turn to especially in times of emotional trouble. Her son has shown so much love for them that she should look forward to creating a good future for them with or without your Uncle.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
You are right apol, now they are all battling for the emotional stress and pain... I was shocked how he have made it... but I am happy for him that in his young age, he tried to understand the situation. He is really a loving son, I can prove it. And I am glad that many people are supporting them... I am praying that this is not too late for them to reunite. The annulment is not really done so any time there is a chance for them to build a much stronger family again even not for love, but for the sake of the children... Thank you very much for the generous advice my friend...
