I don't get it!

Philippines
March 27, 2010 11:44pm CST
Why do you especially guys love to tease? I've got this guy friend, he admitted that he love to tease me. Argh! I hated it when he do that. I'm a usually a patient woman but when he teases me I'll get angry and intimidated immediately. And he's the only guy who could do that to me. Then we always end up quarrelling at each other and not talk sometimes for a month. What should I do for him to stop it? I already asked him to stop it, but he won't listen. What will I do?
1 person likes this
16 responses
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
i used to do that all the time. i do it for her to notice me. maybe if you ignored him he ll stop. it worked for me. lol
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Lol, Maybe it'll work for me too. Thanks
• India
29 Mar 10
i dont think ignoring him would work.Everything depends on the intimacy of the relationship.
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
I think it'll work hollowheart. I'll just try it. He's like a brother to me now. I just found out today that I've got feelings for his best friend. His best friend and I talked on the phone an hour ago. So, I'm hoping ignoring his teasing remarks will work. I'm crossing my finger lol.
@andy77e (5171)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Pretty picture. Well, guys are not like girls. When guys get together, they tease each other. That's simply how we relate. The problem is, some guys do not understand that girls are different. You don't think the same way we do. We do not think the same way you do. We're different. That's all there is to it. Now it could be this guy actually likes you, which is why he teases you. Again, he maybe really does not know how to relate to a women. Some do not. It's also possible that he thinks he is just friendly, and does not know he really is hurting your feelings. I prefer the direct approach myself. Say to him directly, that when he teases you, it hurts your feelings, and you don't like it. Say it, directly, without getting emotional. Do not start crying and sobbing, or yelling and screaming. Just directly tell him how it hurts your feelings, and it bothers you. Sometimes that's all a guy needs to hear. And he'll figure it out. IF not, then try completely and utterly ignoring him. Just say nothing to him at all, ever. If he asks why you are not talking, just tell him 'you hurt me too much, so I'm not talking to you'. And then go back to being silent. You may have to just not be friends with him anymore. Some guys, sadly, will just refuse to learn. And there's only one solution. Leave him alone. "Sorry. I like you, but you hurt me too much. We can't be friends anymore", and leave him alone.
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Thanks. I've been ignoring him for a few minutes. then we started having a good conversation for the first time. He's not teasing me anymore. he still wants my attention though. he's changing his approach now. it's funny but i miss his teasing sometimes. but I'm glad it's gone.
@andy77e (5171)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Yeah, don't switch up all the time. You'll end up confusing him and frustrating him, cause he won't know how to handle you. If he's not teasing anymore, stick with it. Be well hon!
@hollowheart (1572)
• India
29 Mar 10
Hi Enzymemzy. The moment i read that this guy hurts u by teasing, i felt real angry. I can feel what u may be feeling. But i have a question. I am still not too sure as how intimate r u both. I dont feel the relation is that intimate atleast from his end. I am sorry if i am wrong or i am hurting u. But yes if he liked u even as a good friend, then he would not have repeated specially after u told him and even went to the extent of not talking for a month. A few others have told u that ignoring him would help, but i dont think ignoring him would work. Not speaking for a month is more than ignoring and when that didnt help i really dont see much help here. Yes i appreciate he told the truth that he enjoys teasing u, but then i must say either he is not good enough and doesnt want to understand u or he is too immature that he cant understand u. I guess u should move away. Pain or feeling he has lost u is the only way he may stop and come back.
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
I'm not ignoring him for a month. I just don't see him for a month. That's our way of quarrelling. Then after that, we reconcile without talking about the misunderstanding. We just kind of understood our own mistakes. We've been like this for almost four years. But lately, I got tired of it. That's why I want the teasing to stop. I realized that we both need to grow up. Because of his teasing, I kind of lost my special feelings for this guy. And this time, I don't want him to come back. I only want him to be matured enough and be a friend.
@engrdng06 (248)
• Japan
29 Mar 10
He might have a crush on you! whew! Why dont you try reverse psychology? try teasing him too. Youll probably end up as good friends. I hope.
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
tried that already. and it didn't work. we just end up having a big quarrel. but it's alright now. last Thursday, we saw each other and he already knew that I don't like being teased so we end up having a good conversation for the first time. So happy. Anyway thanks. Have a nice day!
@cream97 (29179)
• United States
28 Mar 10
Hi, emzymemzy. I see where you are coming from. I am a female and when guys do this to you that means that they like you. You can continue to ignore him and if it really bothers you, you should tell him how you feel.
@umit_umit (1988)
• India
28 Mar 10
well its really very irritating!amazing is that he loves to teach you!and even tell him not to do that still he does the same!either you dont contact him,avoid him as much as you can!and warn him that if he does like that then you are no more friends!
@novelcai (603)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
lol... your discussion really makes me smile here on my sits! i just remembered my guy bestfriend when we are young. he really loves to teased me and im the one who is always mad and he is the who is always laughing. well i just found out the he has a crush on me that time. and he always want my attention thats why he did that.. now that we have our own family if he saw me walking on the street he still tease me but in a matured way hehheehe because for sure he dont want us to see by his wife, me trowing stone on her husband or me hitting him on his head! :))
• Romania
28 Mar 10
I don't think you should get angry because this is what he wants. He enjoys it when you lose your temper. You can try to distract him by discussing about something else. The last thing you want to do is getting mad, as this would surely perpetuate his childish behavior.
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Well, mostly likely he'll have a hard time stopping, and he just needs a constant reminder. But not everyone can change that quickly. And would you really be willing to give up a friendship because you can't take his jibes or teasing? All you gotta do in cases like this, no matter how hard it seems is to Ignore him. If he won't stop, well, you can't do anything about that. But you can do something by IGNORING him. Then he'll just stop when he sees that there is no effect from what he's doing. :-) Happy myLotting! :D
@besthope44 (12146)
• India
28 Mar 10
Well, i agree i use to do it often my wife. I really understand the way you feel. But i always feel, its an other way of loving my wife. We cannnot be always saying i love you and sometimes we need to express in some other way through a fight. I always tease her that her nose is not in correct way. She goes angry and fights with me, later i would tell the truth, that nose is also a reason to like her much! So dont take it serious, you also tease him to core, show your love!
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
28 Mar 10
Sweetie, two can play this game. Start teasing. Make him feel how you feel. Then you wil be the one laughing. Enjoy. TATA.
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
28 Mar 10
it's great to be getting the attention, i'm in the same situation with my work mate. he's single and i'm taken thou. he's been tormenting me for ages, i like it but when he does it wrong i get annoyed at him or if he catches me in a bad mood and makes it worse. he's good fun to be with when things are going fine, and i can talk to him about most things. i'd say if anything he likes you but, is not sure of asking you out if your single.
@junrapmian (2170)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Maybe he just want to catch your attention that's why. If it really pissed you off, better not to mind him at all. He will learn later on that you don't like what he's doing.
@rosegardens (3044)
• United States
28 Mar 10
If he does not stop after you have asked him, and you have these quarrels, you need to ask yourself this question. Is this friendship worth the grief? It seems as though this person likes to argue and bait you into having arguments. It does not seem this person values you as a person and probably does not even have much self esteem themselves. But that is not your problem. A relationship of any sort can only work if both parties respect each other, and from what you have posted it does not look as though this other person wants to put in 100% to this relationship. Ultimately the choice is up to you, but if you ask me what I would do, I would cut off ties with him. He leaves the impression of being a toxic person. A toxic person does not leave you with joy and peace, but turmoil. One should enjoy someone's companionship, and it does not sound like you are having much fun with this person. I hope you find good people to befriend who lift your spirits and let you realize your gifts and talents to this world.
28 Mar 10
Maybe something more there?? Well not just guys my girls tease too, rather a lot better if you ask me. Like I said if not you then certainly him, is there something more you must ask.Otherwise he's just a jerk. Simply you must get through to him, you said only he makes you angry, just like you have cues or things that make you frustrated, everyone have the same. Just find a way to push his buttons cornor him if he doesn't listen. I know not the positive or the best approach, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If my girl-friend was being such an A** I would let her know. Certainly tell her its not cool not at all and time to stop it. If it doesn't stop then distance yourself. If he doesn't change does not respect your views feelings not a good friend is he. Like i said before there could be more than just friendship well maybe fo him??
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
he likes you..trust me..so ask him straight forward..his teasing is a sign that he want your attention.