Is it difficult for you ask some one to return you what he/she took? / myLot

India

April 8, 2010 11:56pm CST

These days I find it very difficult or lets say rather embarrassing to ask some one to return me again & again something he/she has taken or borrowed - it could be anything- books, mainly money, some gadget etc. Earlier when I was much younger I did not mind asking directly and then there would be arguments but I never bothered about the consequences then !! Now it is different - probably age has mellowed or sobered me !!! But I do not know how to get over this as some things I really need back and in spite of asking many times no result. Have you facing similar situation with growing years? How do you handle this? any solution?

1 response

vanny

@vandana7 (98834)

• India

9 Apr 10

Hi Udayrao, one thing I noticed is there are many people who would love to be freeloaders if we just give them a chance. So one way to avoid that happening is give in small amounts only. Never large sums. If you do, take the regular business route. According to Income Tax section 269SS (if I recollect right) - you are not supposed to lend or give an amount more than 20000 in cash. Use that as an excuse and say you are a law abiding citizen, whether you are or not. As to bank, say sorry you do have monthly commitments, and just enough only for the month. Learn to say no. When you give small amounts, and the person doesnt return the monies, you can understand what is his or her nature so that the next time he or she asks you know what can happen. I too learnt it the hard way. :) But lets just say, lessons learnt cannot be forgotten easily. As to the gadget, just say, there is a problem with it and you have to take it for repairs. :) Sometimes whitelies are better than wasting time on grumbling.

@udayrao2 (781)

• India

9 Apr 10

Hi Vandana Not to lend money I heard the bitter and the hardest way , so i have stopped that and anyway they were small amounts but still then...And it is more about books or other things and I said whatever excuses you come up with seems to fall on deaf ears, or they knowingly borrowed with an intention of not returning.I was discussing in general though mostly people face this problem with money. And by the way I have stopped lending anything over the last couple of years though people may call me a stingy or a non-cooperative person or whatever they want- I am not bothered now nor do I grumble - but I was just trying to find out how many people out there have this same problem. Thanks your prompt response

vanny

@vandana7 (98834)

• India

9 Apr 10

Hi Udayrao, I still lend small amounts. That gives me an idea whom I can trust in worst situations, who are reliable, and self-respecting. :) Money! My relatives beat me up for that! So my relatives are strictly no no for money. :) Today they act as if they are sorry, but I dont trust them. :) It is their way to get into my house and then once in, I will never be able to escape them. So I have put an embargo. Dad - however - keeps swinging between me and them. He has his reasons to buy their silence.