Can you really know anybody?
April 11, 2010 6:08pm CST
Do we ever really know someone? Usually when this question is asked, it is because of the idea that people never really show their true selves, they hide a certain aspect or aspects from us. But I think there may be another reason why we may never truly know someone. We, as humans, put our own interpretation on everything. Our reality is our reality strictly because of the way we see it. Well, wouldn't this be the same with people? People are to us the way we interpret them to be. Have you ever thought someone didn't really know you because of the things they say about you? Well, I think you are right! They don't really know you because they are putting their own interpretation on you. But then that gets tricky, too, because wouldn't we also see ourselves they way we interpret ourselves to be? Maybe we aren't even seeing ourselves. Hence why most of us are always trying to fond out who we really are! Well, what do you think? Can we ever really know somebody, or ourselves?
13 Apr 10
Hi Razz. As always, I appreciate your thought processes. Can we know ourselves? I believe so - deep down - even though we might at times try to convince ourselves we are not what we know we are. I know I am not the person I was 50 years ago, or 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. We change. Our circumstances change and sometimes we change to suit them. We change in many ways, but as a general rule, our core values remain the same. Does our concept of other people change? Yes. Sometimes we only see the facade. Sometimes the person changes. Sometimes we never see the "real" person, but the longer a friendship/relationship lasts, the more likely we are to see beyond the facade. Can we really know someone? Yes, I believe we can - in time. I do not believe we can immediately know a person. For instance, I do not believe in the so-called "love at first sight" simply because it takes time - a lot of time - to truly love a person. Attraction at first sight is very real, but the main ingredients of love - respect, honour, friendship, self-giving etc - are not immediate. They take time. Friendship - true friendship - also takes time to develop, but I do believe we can reach the place where we can truly know and appreciate others. As one who has now been very happily married for 50 years, I think I can say with absolute confidence that neither my hubby nor myself are ever surprised at what the other does or says. In fact, we could almost write the script for each other and there would be no variance. I sincerely hope that this discussion wasn't generated by a disappointment in a friend.
• United States
11 Apr 10
Glad you brought this up! Yes you can know someone, if they are as close as family and you have known them for quite a while! But knowing ourselves is a different thing, It seems like an unknown question and seems quite impossible to answer if asked to yourself. - Fry