courtship and love
By pierrella
@pierrella (1087)
Philippines
April 12, 2010 6:10am CST
Nowadays, the meaning of courtship gets lesser and lesser. I even have 2 friends who got together but the guy didn't even court the girl. They just told one another that they have feelings for each other then after an hour, they're together. I was really shocked.
For me, courtship is still important. It helps to determine the real intention of the guy. On the other hand, it also helps to see if the girl has feelings for the guy to. Also, we should not also forget to show respect to the parents of the girl. I think relationships would last longer if the guy courted the girl.
What do you think about this?
14 responses
@Nikhil1418 (38)
• Qatar
13 Apr 10
do u b liv in love at 1st sight this is what happened to ur friends.
@pierrella (1087)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Sometimes love at first site can be true but I think it is rare that the relationship does work out. I still think that they need to know each other very well first before they can say that they are really meant for each other :)
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
12 Apr 10
Years ago courtship was considered one of the many steps on the way to love. It was a romantic adventure for the courter and the courted as well. If you would ask young people today to explain courtship to you, you would probably get the blank stare back. They don't know what you are talking about. Someone needs to educate the younger generation and show them that love and courtship go hand in hand.
@pierrella (1087)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
hahaha! Elders usually tell stories about courtship when the guy sings for the girl while the girl is standing over the balcony or something. It was a really big thing back then. But now, you're right, people can't even say something romantic about it sometimes.
@grayxenon (1313)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
on the contrary most courtship are pretentious in nature (because they are trying to win a girl heart) they tend to impressed girls thus exerting efforts that they usually dont do. so i find friendship stage (getting to know) then i if they found something bigger than friendship, put it to the next level and became lovers eventually.
although i can understand the sweetness of having to receive flowers and chocolates to many it is kinda fun for the teens. but as you grow older you will realize that courtship period is not enough to measure ones love.
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
On some level, I agree with you. During courtship, the guy puts his best foot forward. Some guys come to the point where they try to be everything that the girl wants them to be when in truth they aren't really like that. Thus, this is probably the reason why there are some girls who complain and say, 'it was better when he was courting me' or 'he's changed! he wasn't like that when he was courting me!' Yeah, stuff like that.
However, I must also say if the guy is sincere, courtship could be the time that the guy and girl could get to know each other. That is, if they aren't fooling each other. It's a time they can get to know each other better. After all, things are different when you're just friends than when you're in courtship.
@iana011michelle (42)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
I also knew somebody that they only got together pne night and then got a kissing scene. After that they were together already. I do believe that courtship is still important because sometimes you should get along with each other even as friends first. Anyways, its a reality now a days that there is no more courtship phase.
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
That's true. And I think it's because of this express way of getting into a relationship that is the reason why most relationships don't work. One may site counterexamples, but these are the exception to the rule. It is still true that without the courtship stage, it would be hard to get to know the guy's true intentions. Anyhow, one benefit of courtship is that, after it, and the girl gives her yes, it's a special time for the couple. The guy realizes that he worked hard to get this girl, thus he would also work hard to keep her. The courtship could also be an experience the couple can talk about after. It would be one of those things they can reminisce together.
Without proper courtship, it would be difficult to determine if the guy has real love for you or just wants you for his own selfish desires, eg. wants a beautiful gf, smart gf to help with h.w.
@prettyface1978 (69)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
I still believe that courtship is still imporatant although I don't agree that it is a basis of having a longer relationship. But I believe that it is one way of respecting the girl and likewise the family of the girl. In all relationshisp respect is the most important. Because as what I am observing now lot of men have lessen respect to women. Courtship is one way of telling men that we are ladies you should treat us with respect.
@tom_acm (6)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
I believe in courtship but not long courtship. Basically to know the person and the family. It doesn't have to be long since you would know if you right away if you have feelings for a person.
For friends how turn to lovers, the feeling was developed so sometimes you could forgo of the courtship stage.
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
We are in a modern world and everything else just follows with the flow or the trend. Gone where the days that men used to court their women with old fashioned ways. Something is changing not only in the technology department but also the mindset of the society. You can feel the modern way of life not only with the people speak but with how a person express their love and affection.
Mutual understanding is the new trend as of today's society. If you like me and I like you we are now into a relationship. No need for long hours of courtship as if everything is always in the rush as if there's no tomorrow. But what matters most is the quality of the relationship that was formed out of it.
@hazelsweetme (199)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Well nowadays, many guys use cellphones and computers to court a woman. And some others not at all. It's very romantic if a girl is being courted but it's not too important for lasting relationship. Sometimes guys are very nice during courting stage...but when the girl answer them already they do stupid things that will hurt the girl.
@dhysanne (449)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
I still believe in courtship. You get to know the man better. Test his love and patience. But sometimes women can't really hide from what they feel about the guy. And some men are not patient enough in courting. Or should I say, If a woman doesn't like the guy, then tell him immediately in a nice way that he would understand. Then if he likes him, tell him the truth, but still would want to know him better by pursuing the courtship.
Yeah you're right, it's very important to show respect for the parents and other members of the family, and her friends too. That will help us women to know if the guy has good intentions. Nice topic!
@elizam (75)
•
13 Apr 10
The fact that your friends liked each other on the spot does not mean that they cannot court. I think courtship is the time you spend with each other getting to know, understand and appreciate each other even before the parents come in. Every relationship needs a firm foundation which can be got from courtship. So as along as your friends are not rushing into marriage, I think it is okay.
@werty009 (404)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
well i think it depend on the person for me even if the courtship is lesser it's ok it depend on the person if you really love the person well you can wait and court her or she feel the same you do about her.maybe it's just the mentality of other person
@farkirikofar (140)
• Indonesia
12 Apr 10
i think courtship is really needed, that way we can know the guy's intention. but nowadays, especially for teenagers (i'm a teenager too) courtship is no longer needed, they feel like it's just a waste of time. a lot of my friends just chat via YM or facebook for like a few days and after that they're together with that other guy. so for me, courtship is really important, so we can know how serious the relationship is. (for me, in the future :))
@candy91 (5)
• China
12 Apr 10
I really agree with you.I think love relationships need promise.If i courted someone,it means i was making a promis that i will respect him and we'll share feelings with each other and always take care.But no courtship no promise.Maybe we can leave each other without one word,even whatever...anytime we want.
yaeh,the start of relationship needs courtship.
@miaoliang (20)
• China
13 Apr 10
life is changing ,so is people.but i still agree that true love should based on a time of mutual understanding .
