friends: how to give forgiveness
By pwang41
@pwang41 (134)
Philippines
April 14, 2010 7:15am CST
i had this ex friend of mine whom i really thought would be one of my best friends till i grow old. we do even share dreams that once we were older and start working we would still be just a phone away. we've been friends since our second year in high school and we've been together until our fourth year in college. i really thought that she knew me so much because i can say to myself that i also knew her much until that faithful day.
she was told of humors that i was the one who spread it. i was so clueless that such humors are spreading until she confronted me with her boyfriend. a confrontation that ended up of accusations. they were even pointed a finger at me and shouted at me. i was really so shocked that how can she accused me of spreading such words despite the fact that i was being a good friend with the both of them. she doesn't even have proofs that i was the one who spread it that even our other friends were so shocked as well. what really shut her up was when i told her that for the long years we've been together did she really think i can do it to her?
i was so disappointed with her because i really thought she knew me but then she was the one who cast the first stone and she didn't even listened on my part. it has been a year since it happened and we never talk since then. i sometimes misses her because she was already part life and most of my best memories i've shared it with her. when i saw our pictures together i ask myself what happened to us and then when i remember why we aren't talking i can still feel the pain and the disappointment and i think she was never sorry of what she did. i do really want to forgive her, but how can forgiveness be given to someone who haven't asked for it?
5 responses
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
29 Aug 10
Best way to walk out calm, rather than showing out the anger. Its hard but i would say dont expect more from others..even if they cannot meet any small expectations, just forgive and forget their acts.
@keval32 (1096)
• India
9 May 10
Forgive her for yourself even if she didn't asked for it, because why you'll have stress because of her? It will affect on your mental as well as physical health my friend. Just forgive her saying yourself that "She is good, we have been good friends until now, but we have some misunderstanding and I didn't do anything wrong so why I should I worry?" If she has done anything wrong she will surely realize it as you said she was your best best friend.....So understanding must be there. She will surely gonna realize what she did wrong, and she'll come to request you for forgive her........And I am sure you are nice person and you'll be able to forgive her, and your relations would be like before it was. Hope everything will be fine, and sure it will be, because until there's no anything good there's no ending.
@dimitarivanov (228)
• Netherlands
14 Apr 10
Well you can't help that life goes on, no matter what we do and no matter of past relationships. I do have old friends but life separated us. I felt bad for a long time and I pretty much still do as I think of the past like every single person who is caring for friends and people who meant something in his life. The problem I believe is that we, as humans are losing some kind of connection and thus this manifests in hurt. From that point on we should learn to rejoice for the event of actually hapenning and not concentrate on not having the same emotion again. If people worth fighting for do abandon you at the end, then it is simply not meant to be. You will feel bad about it, but you can make new friendships and relationships and the new people would turn out to be your better friends than the previous ones in the end. The point is no to be alone and desperate but positive and hopeful, in order to make all this happen and regain once what you thought as forever lost.
@greyz7 (859)
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
i there,
reading this made my tears gathered around my eyes..it's a sad story..i also have a best friend. though we've been together for 3 years now, but i feel she's my best friend for life..and i hope and pray what happened to yo would not happen to us..because even just a day or so that we won't be communicating die to arguments/quarrel, i am missing her..i hope and pray that one day, you can have a talk.
@nemarose (26)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
I had this exBEST friend too. I was in high school when I met her in our church. She was really nice to me for a year. After getting to know each other well, she started to be very manipulative. She wanted to dictate me in every thing I do which made me hot under the collar. One day, I had a boy friend.. she didn't like him. I don't see anything wrong about my relationship with my BF but she was asking me to leave my boyfriend.... because I had no more time for her? I felt that she was really selfish and strange.
One time, one of her other friends told me that she was homosexual. I couldn't believe it. Because she was my best friend, I just ignored what I discovered. I realized why she wants me to leave my boyfriend... she loves me more than a best friend. Because a normal best friend will be HAPPY to see her friend having good relationship...
Anyways, she spread a lot a rumors that made me angry. She even betrayed me by telling my secrets to others. She ruined my trust and our friendship. Until now I can't move on! I can't forgive her. She asked SORRY million times. I just told her.... Just leave me alone... I said I forgive her (but deep inside not)... I don't want her to be part of my life again.
