Still believe in self control? Do you still care?

Philippines
April 17, 2010 5:18pm CST
There have been many incident between me and my partner that we could not help ourselves fighting in public and we really don;t mind who we are with. I noticed that it looks so ugly and we have something to talk about, we can take it home rater than exploding whenever/wherever you are right? So many times he did attack me especially in front of my friends, I tried so hard to keep quiet or not to attack him back because I think one of us needs to bend, so I did. It feels good on my end but I also feel that it's not right at all I deserve to be respected and I told him that. He just tells me that he cannot control it. Sad but true. Many times I tried to control myself because I look so naive and stupid in front of his friends especially when it comes to his best friend. If you really love your partner, will you allow such? Will you keep your word if you promised that I will not happen again and will not give me the reason that you cannot control?
3 responses
@markleob (1904)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
you are on the right track maam.. just go on,,.. you really need to control yourself not to explode in public since that really is not a good scene to look at and listen to..
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Yes, I definitely know that if I attack him back it will make the situation even worse. But it cannot be like that all the time right?
@markleob (1904)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
you should talk that over when you are alone... for example inside your room... . ask him to change the way he is because it is not that pleasant.. who knows he might then realize and would change himself...
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
That is what I do. When there are no more people, that is the time that I approach him and talk things over. At times, I am really not sure whether he understands what I feel whenever he does that to me. I am still hoping that he would be able to change it and relying on what he said that he promises to change that.
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
Loving your partner does not mean allowing him to do anything that will offend you. I feel that he has been humiliating you in front of friends and it doesn't look and feel good on your part. Whatever problem both of you have, you just need to talk and if you fight, do it in private. I believe you deserve to be respected. If there are things that he does not like in what you have been doing, then he has to confront you and both of you communicate and iron things out and there is no need to make others know about it. You have to keep your integrity and dignity as a person. Don't tolerate anyone to humiliate you in front of other people.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
I tried to look at it as non offensive but as time passed by, I realized that it hurts to be treated that way in front of other people. Even if those people were our friends, that they will understand, it still does not look good and I feel very humiliated. I tried to talk to him about it and he just promised that he won't do it again.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
Self control was something I had before but it was also something I lose when I was already very angry at something. It went down to the point that I hurt my partner physically and all those things. Well, shame on me! Its something I am overcoming now. And I have been doing it for a long time and good thing I am still able to control myself. My partner didnt asked for me to control myself but it made me decide to do when he told me it hurts him if I did something like that. So I did my best and always tried to remembered my purpose in doing it.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
I also agree that at times you really cannot control your temper and that is a contributing factor of worsening the circumstance. Good thing that at least you are already able to control yourself now. Just please don't or avoid hurting each other physically. It will not help in making things better.