Do you often argue with your spouse?

@grkelly (1216)
Malta
April 24, 2010 2:10pm CST
Is it common that you argue on a regular basis sometimes on even minor things. Sometimes I think that I just cannot be understood by the person who is supposed to know me so well and I get so frustrated! It is just a difference on how we think and perceive things. But it happens so often! Does this happen to you? Is it a natural, normal healthy process?
4 responses
• United States
24 Apr 10
I've been with my husband five years now, and can say that constant arguing is NOT healthy nor is it necessarily normal. Sure, disagreements WILL happen from time to time, because a partnership still involves two different individuals, but that doesn't mean they have to turn into arguments or get heavy and violent. The last time I disagreed with my husband it was a few weeks ago, and we just talked through it, let one another speak our thoughts, before coming to a mutual understanding. I think it all starts before marriage, when you actually have to think about marrying the person you're with. If you have major disagreements in life, I would say wait for marriage. Depending on how much things mean to you, politics, kids, in-laws, religious beliefs, etc., are all cause for major arguments in the future. You have to make sure things are calm before marriage and, if you do have disagreements on beliefs, you have to make sure that both of you respect each other enough to agree to disagree. Arguing can cause resentment and hard feelings, and is best avoided. Talking through things is much healthier, in my opinion.
1 person likes this
24 Apr 10
I was talking about this with a friend the other day as I over heard two girls talking and they were saying how fed up they were with arguing with their partners however I was supprised when one of the girls turned around and said how that was life and what couples do. I found this shocking to think someone thought it was normal to fight with their partner all the time and that it was part of being in a relationship, as I have a great relationship and have been lucky to find a man who understands and tolerates my ways. However when I thought about it some more I realised that I was once in a relationship that was non stop fighting and I remembered that I too thought it was normal for this to be in a relationships. You have to think about your happiness and truly understand what these arguments are doing to both you on a personal point of view as sometimes if its that bad then there is normaly a reason.
1 person likes this
@tolted (191)
2 May 10
I think it is ok to argue BUT it shouldn't be an everyday thing. Couples should learn to understand what makes the other person happy or upset. They should discuss issues and put each other first. Couples should learn how to resolve conflicts amicably
• United Arab Emirates
26 Apr 10
Being married could be a pain in the butt sometimes and i as a person never expect it to be so smooth and filled with fun, happiness and babies, that's what we want the good part of it, all good things in life and forgetting there's always the down side. In marriage, we never get to understand even ourself well enough to discover our innermost behaviour, what am saying is understanding how we behave, cope and think ine the company of our friends when outing on a saturday night, most times we get annoyed or angered but because they are just our friends, people we see everyday,once or twice a day or maybe 2 times in 3 days, we are most confortable with people we have known a long while and have gotten used to them but for a spouse who, no matter how much you love will still be him/her self because of the different principles, ideologies and upbringing there were moulded around....so no matter how strong the feelings and love, which is just two principles that they share or have in common out of numerous other principles and ideologies or human beings. So the similarities is not always proportional to the opposite like just how MichealAngelo and Bernini's works of arts are similar with same methodology, people still saw the different ways they expressed their messages in their arts. So, Grkelly just try and ignore the angry parts when it happens, do something that makes you happy whenever you are angry at your partner but never stop loving the other and also try talking things out later when it's calm again, remember he/she can't be like you or how you want him/her to be, they'll always be themselves, love your partner for that if you can.