Ah! So confused!!

@wigima5 (908)
United States
April 26, 2010 4:23pm CST
Okay, maybe you've seen my previous discussion, maybe not. but if not, here's the story. Okay so I have this friend tat graduated high school last year and we've been talking through facebook chat since. I am currently a junior in high school, so he's two years older than me. and I could kind of tell he liked me, and finally on saturday he asked me out. But I'm not sure what to do. If he had asked me a month before I pbbly would've liked him more. but now tat month has passed n im not even sure if like him anymore. Plus I've never had a relationship before so I'm not sure wat to do and how itll work. I just feel nervous about it. But on top of that, the worst part is telling my parents. :S They haven't exactly ever approved of me dating anyone. And MAYBE they would approve if I picked a nice kid from my grade. But this kid is 2 years older!!! Plus, he looks kinda weird, and he doesn't really have any college plans. So I think they would definitely disapprove. I know I have to tell them sometime. But I'm DREADING it. I have NO idea how to start! Im afraid itll turn into this huge thing and theyll just yell at me. In the meantime I have to keep my friend waiting for the response. And I'm not even that sure if I like him or not. It's verry confusing right now. I've been in his spot before of having a guy friend I liked, and telling him, and having him tell me he was not interested. n i always wish he had at least given me a chance, at least one date to see how it went. so maybe I should do the same for my friend. It'd be nice to have someone and be in a relationship for once. Just to see how it's like, and who knows? I might end up liking him more. But in the meanwhile I have this huge cloud of dread and guilt hanging over me because I still have to decide n I dont even know were to start with my parents. In addition, he is one of my friend's ex-boyfriends. I kinda feel like I'm in over my head. I wouldn't really feel this way if my parents were okay and encouraged me dating. And he's a really nice guy, he's always nice, and we always end up talking on chat for hours. Idk. Wat should I do??? Any advice???
2 people like this
6 responses
• United States
26 Apr 10
Well.....If you're talking to him on Facebook, I'm sure there are other girls that are talking to him too. Since he doesn't have plans for what he's going to do with his life, i guess you like him cause he's "cute", lol....My advise to you is to start anohter profile of some sexy model type air-head chick with a dirty mind. Hit him up saying how cute he is and how you want to hook up with him. You can go as far as tellimg him, you( The fake profile) will meet him some where....While you (The real you) ask him if he meets anyone on line. If he lies to you, dump his butt faster then a zitt you just squeezed. But if he doesn't take the bait and tells the you about the fake you, he's a keeper.......and go out with him.
@Theresaaiza (10454)
• Australia
27 Apr 10
Wooohoooo....I like this idea! Yes, wigi, try this one. If he bites into it, then this is one way of telling he isn't the one.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Yeah, that's kinda lot of work isn't it? I mean you have to go through all that just to see if he's a keeper. And besides, she might change her mind later on anyway.
1 person likes this
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
29 Apr 10
yea, tats a good idea i guess. but facebook prohibits making fake accounts n i dont want 2 risk getting mine deleted. plus yea it is a lot of work. but yea, he doesnt really talk to other girls. I wouldn't say he's cute, but he's nice.
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Okay, first off, you mentioned that he's a friend's ex boyfriend, so if I were your friend, that would be an ultimate NO-NO. Especially if I found out. It's a Code of Ethics kind of thing, and you know it. Secondly, you're not even sure you want to start a relationship so don't worry too much about what your parents will say. What's wrong with going out with a friend? You hang out with your friends a lot, I doubt if you let your parents know everytime you do. And if you do let them know, well, you can tell them that's he's a friend from school. You won't have to make it sound like anything else because he IS a friend from school. Go out with him, see how it plays out. If everything works out fine, then well and good. That's the only time you'll start feeling if whether you should continue going out with him or not. If you don't feel like it, then you can tell him straight up. Not like anything serious happened between the two of you. If you DO end up liking him, then that's when you can start worrying about how your parents will take him. Thirdly, if this is a guy that you're worried your parents won't like, then I'm telling you, there's no good time really to introduce him. You've just gotta jump into it. Of course they're not going to like him. Any parent would be alarmed to see that their daughter is dating a guy who's not the normal, average Joe. So you can expect that when you introduce him, your parents are going to try to change your mind. But you know that you have to start somewhere. Give them the jolt once everything looks good then keep going. You shouldn't have too much trouble if this guy can show something nice to your parents. And besides, you'll be able to tell for yourself if he's real or not. Good luck, hope everything works out!
1 person likes this
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
29 Apr 10
Thanks a lot. :) u have a lott of interesting good points. N yea....so i guess im leaning more toward no. ur right, id feel soo bad for my friend, then i dont want to cause drama and go through all the toils of a relationship and have to deal with my parents for a guy I'm not even sure I like. thx. :)
@thyst07 (2091)
• United States
26 Apr 10
Well, what could it hurt to try going out with him once? You could keep it to something friendly and casual, something you might go do with any good friend. Let him know ahead of time that you're not sure if you're ready for a romantic relationship at this point (you don't have to tell him specifically that you don't know if you like him) but that you're willing to go on a friendly outing without expectations or strings attached. Split the bill for the "date" just like you would if you went out with a friend- that way, you don't have to feel obligated to him for anything. If nothing comes of it, you don't have to deal with your parents, because it was just friends hanging out. Also, don't worry too much about the 2 years thing. It might seem like a lot now, but it's perfectly normal for people with a few years' age difference to end up together.
1 person likes this
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
29 Apr 10
yea,i understand tat. n its not tat much really. but in high school and to parents it is HUGE. n ppl talk. n oftentimes you can get a bad reputation for dating sum1 so much older. :/ i definitely dont want tat to happen. but yea, i was thinking bout tat. just go hang out with him sum time as friends, to get 2 kno him better, and THEN i can decide if i like him or not.
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
27 Apr 10
You are not sure if you like him which is good because you shouldn't go another step with him. It sucks bad enough to deal with all the drama when you're in love but with you not knowing how you feel it isn't worth it and you may avoid heartache in the end. Keep talking as a friend and see where it goes later.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Don't rush into being an item with him Hon... Take it a day at a time. You'll know what to do when the time is right. There are a lot of things you will be able to discover once you allow time to take its course. Just go out with him. Have fun with him.
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
29 Apr 10
thx. :)
@maikeruk (406)
• Germany
27 Apr 10
well the life is about experimenting new stuffs every time you can. is not that you will meet this guy and thats it, he will be stuck in your life for ever, i just recommend you that at the beginning been a bit prudent. if you dont have experience dating, more. This is not the first person or the last you will be interested on. you should try to go out in a regular date to see what is going on. dont judge by his exterior. but if his plans collide with yours then be aware that might not lead you to anything good. but sometimes, specially at your age is important to enjoy the ride instead of been thinking all the time in the destination.
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
29 Apr 10
thx i guess u have a point.