an unfinished....never closed relationship
By alikamae
@alikamae (13)
Philippines
May 7, 2010 12:31pm CST
met someone in my younger years. we became good friends, good buddy, until he revealed his feelings for me. it was a special feeling. flattered yes i am. very became very much comfortable with each other then. a few months after, he was gone without a telling me or anybody. i looked for him and waited for him but nowhere to find. i've moved on and now happy. it's been 15 years now, i am married and had 2 wonderful kids. i didn't expect things to happen,our common friend added me on facebook and told me about him. my friend gave his number. hearing again makes me excited. it was me who reach out first. he was so glad to hear from me again. we talked for more than an hour in the phone. i can hear it in his voice that he was truly happy to hear from me after a very long, long time. i was even happier. there were long silence during our phone conversation and i realized that i suddenly missed him. he was married now and also had kids. often now we communicate. i asked him once, if wat went wrong in our relationship. i believe it never ended, had no closure and never had the chance to discuss it all. he wanted to see me again...wanted to discuss things between us..i thought it was at first a joke. he lives in the south and i lived in the north. yet, his finding ways now to see me again. i wonder now if i should see him again like what he wants. a part of says yes i will yet the other side says no after all i have moved on.
9 responses
@djemme (77)
• United States
24 May 10
I think seeing him would be a bad idea. Obviously, there are still feelings there and those feelings will be even greater once you meet. You're both married, he is not an appropriate friend for you to have. Close all communication with him and don't open that door. You're heading into trouble if you rekindle anything with this other man.
@zubirik (111)
• Philippines
7 May 10
Regarding that situation, it's really hard to decide. For a fact that you're already married. For me, meeting him to end up the situation would be considered. Anyway, I can't blame you about this situation that you had right now. You must think critically before doing any actions. There are two possibilities that you can consider about such. You can live with your family trying to make yourself happy or to live with that someone who you really love in the past happily.
You should consider the circumstancial outcomes. If you are good enough you should also consider your kids.
Taking the second possibility is to risky. You should end up what's in the past. Just embrace the present and face the future.
@alikamae (13)
• Philippines
9 May 10
ive been weighing things out.. in my yes answer, one of my great reason is to end up the situation though it ended 15 years ago. i wanna hear, i wanna know the reasons why he left. i wanna know if he did really loved my before. i wanna hear the stories of his life he left. i wanted to hear answers of my questions that been long kept unanswered. i want to tell him how badly i felt when he left, how long have i been waiting for him. i want to answer the biggest question WHY? i think thats not bad at all. all i want is for us to be at peace. its not easy to live a life with so much unfinished business.
i also want to tell him that i am happy now. i wanted to thank him leaving me or else i wouldn't met the love my life -- my husband.
@charylady (419)
• Philippines
8 May 10
you have both moved on; you are both married and have kids. what's there to discuss? i think you are treading dangerous waters should you decide to say yes.
@cheatedaphrodite (810)
• Philippines
7 May 10
You can say yes, you can say no. Think before saying yes. Saying yes to him is like allowing him back to your life knowing that you're both married. Saying yes might lead to something that you might regret. Yes, he's been with you before but he left without any traces. If he truly love you even before, he should have looked for you.
Saying yes might be dangerous. You're like risking the relationship you have with your family. We really don't know what will happen next. If I were you, I will choose to be on the safe side.
As a respect to your husband and to her wife, it might be good for both of you to lessen your communication because it might as well lead to something else.
If in case you will say yes, make sure that it would be the first and the last. You can be friends but you can never be lovers again, that's the truth. The truth might hurt you but I know you can overcome it because you already moved on 15 years ago.
Both might feel excited because you know that you left something hanging in the past but it's better not to live with the past because it might destroy you. Live with what you have now. I'm sure you're happy with your husband and your kids.
Before you decide to say yes, think not only twice, thrice but million times.
Good Luck!
@baobaoyuanyuan (49)
• Australia
7 May 10
i have met someone as i was young and that was my only time to fall in love with the first sight...
but, that boy and i wont be together forever... as he said, he does not love me and will never love me...
but as i think, if there used to be some beautiful memory, it is great enough...
@kenites (337)
• Philippines
11 May 10
I have been in this situation before. And I hate to tell you, saying yes to his demand will just bring him back to your life I know that you still love each other but then again you both have a family already. I know you need closure, that is what we also need when we met for the second time. I would not further my story, but I tell you if you do really want to meet him just don't do anything stupid but I advice you against this. Asking permission to your husband would not even do good because I am certain that he would not let you and he will be forever suspicious to your fidelity.
I think what he did to you before is enough, just please move on for the sake of your children. I know it is hard, I can still feel the pain while talking to you, but pls move on...
Time will heal all pain, I know you can find happiness in your husband and children..
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
7 May 10
I think you should not meet him now. You have a family and a husband who might feel bad if he comes to know about it. You both are going on with life from the past 15 years, just keep a contact with him through facebook or communicate sometimes but no too much. Too much communicating might interrupt your life. hope this will help you
@hcvvmk (175)
• Malaysia
7 May 10
wow, this is indeed like some drama..but let's move on to the main topic..well it's been 15yrs..both are married..i think it's time to move on..do not look back but look forward..just maintain as good friends and be faithful to each spouse...that's all i could say..it's finished on once he left suddenly on that day 15 yrs ago...no offence though.
@ericpapasit (1274)
• Philippines
7 May 10
Yes for the sake of friendship but be careful for the sake of your family... I see that you are also regretting what had happened before.... but pls. don't give a chance to the devil to break your home...
