No one wants to hear it from others

When we talk about ourselves, we do not feel we are degraded. But others' comments will hurt us and we do not like to listen to it. I tell thousand things about my husband and even scold him (of course in his absence). But I cannot bear anyone telling even a small bad thing about my husband.

When we tell others, "we are skinny", we do not expect them to agree, and say, "Yes you indeed are"; but we expect them to say, "No, you are not". When we say we are old, we expect them to say, "You look younger than your age". It is true if they agree with us we might bring the whole roof down. We like to see other placating us. We have only those people as our friends, who praise us. Those who criticize us we do not like them. We shun their company. It is just the human tendency.

I feel we are sensitive when someone comments on our look or physique.It all depends on the tone and the way the comment has been addressed.If it was said with the intention to bring to our notice i guess its o.k. If it was meant to insult or degrade us probably a retort or show of anger is justified.Probably we run down ourselves to preempt the same comment coming from others.

Because the truth hurts, thats why. We can criticize ourselfs all day long and thats fine but when someone else points out something that we know is true, we dont like it. I guess it confirms what we dont like about ourselfs and tells us that others see the flaws that we hoped they didn't notice. Its just human nature to take criticism hard but should also give us the push to change the things we can.

I think it stems from the fact that all of us need a bit of reassurance...either due to our own insecurities or maybe a bit of low esteem...when i say "i am fat" to you...i would rather you to tell me..no you arent fat... just a bit rounded... :) but when u call me fat...it seems as if you are pointing out a flaw of mine which i would rather not know or accept... and also it looks as if you are judging me ..which as human nature goes would annoy me. Also another reason for running ourselves down is the notion that being self-effacing is a sign of modesty...but being too self-effacing will actually backfire on us because ppl may start believing and accepting our own statements at face value.

Hello allknowing, I would like to hear from others how do i look, how do i smell,,,specially if they are my friends.,I am frank and honest, if i commented that you are fat, you are fat, not that i would like to criticize you but i would like you to look at yourself take a time to evaluate what i have said., i don not want to hurt your feelings by being honest, just want to be your friend. It really depends on how you are going to perceive somebody's opinion, and how do you react with it. as for me, if someone will say i look ugly today, i will be rushing to the mirror, agree or disagree to the comment, sigh and then look forward for tomorrow, i will test you, if you still tell me that i am still ugly, then i would think that you are having a bad day...LOL...=)