My boyfriend doesn't touch and kiss me like he used to, why???????

United States
May 29, 2010 5:29pm CST
Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years now and I feel like we are farther apart now than we were when we met. He used to grab me in his arms and kiss me like there was no tomorrow, and he used to hold me in his arms. As a matter of fact when we went to bed at night he would get upset if I didnt face him and snuggle up with him, now he doesn't touch me when we are sleeping much less kiss me goodnight unless he is after something else. Why has he changed so much in the affection department. Me and him have been through alot together and made it this far but how much more of this can I take. I mean I have to pry the words "I LOVE YOU" out of his mouth with a crowbar these days. He has alot going on in his life right now and I understand that but I do too and I would like to feel that he still cares! Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to make him touch me without having to ask for it?
1 person likes this
14 responses
• China
30 May 10
You should have a deep conversation with your boyfriend at a proper time and place.When he is happy and kidding to you,you can act and say words gentlely to him and hold him actively in order to stimulate his love to you.You can also take him to places where you have a beautiful memory in the past and at this time you can show him his changes.From his response,you can guess the reason of change,maybe his is facing high pressure,maybe he has something difficult to say out,maybe there is a "other woman".Please be calm,not angry,not sad.your love has lasted for three years,any problem will be solved by your love.Good luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 May 10
Thank you for you reassuring words "your love has lasted three years, any problem will be solved by your love" I really needed to hear that. I want to talk to him about us but I dont want to feel like the only reason he is touching me and kissing me is bc I told him how I felt I want him to want to grab me in his arms and kiss me like he used to.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 May 10
I read these post and although they make a nice ending story or fix up most are not being honest with you. He might be seeing someone else or doesn't find you attractive anymore. If is the attractive part you can hit a gym and fix your self up like nails hair new outfit even new perfume but if is the first part sorry let him go.
• United States
30 May 10
I will see what I can do about fixing myself up but I am on a very very very small budget. What happened to the good old days when a man loved a woman for her heart and soul and not her body. That did used to exist right? I will take your advice and give a try and see what happens, thanks
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 May 10
Take off your clothes in front of him = EPIC WIN
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 May 10
Oh! So he still do touch you and kiss you, right? I thought maybe he doesn't touch you or kiss you anymore. Do something sweet. I always appreciate girls who shows concern. You know him. Push that button and that sweetness might come back. :)
@atv818 (1988)
• United Arab Emirates
30 May 10
Well, it is hard to really assess from a third person's point of view why he had changed. The best person to judge that will be you. All I'm sure about is this: stress and problems can rob a person's passion because body, mind and soul are focused on the problem at hand. If you're saying that he has problems now, then be an understanding partner and give him space. Just let him know every now and then that you are there to support and love him no matter what. Help him find the solution. Once he had solved what is troubling him, I assure you that things will be better in the love department. Keep your radar up and make the proper move when needed be.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 May 10
oh, maybe your boyfriend has problems. i think you open up your concern to him regarding his behavior. :)
1 person likes this
@Jacobus1919 (1685)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Try asking him whats wrong? Most likely he may be having problems and stuff. Try talking to him and asking for stuff like, what is bothering him, and what may be the reason why he is distant to you.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (4780)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 May 10
You said there are a lot of problems in your lives? Sometimes the emotional and physical stresses of life tend to take away from the affection you feel for one another. My partner and I have been togeather for going on eight years now. And, I can tell he's not as emotionally invested in me, but he has a problem, and its not something I can fix. He has to realize, that for one he has a problem, before he can hope to start resolving it. If things were a bit more.... stable, I'm sure he'd be more affecenant, but all I can say, is talk to him, see if there is something, you, or you both can do to resolve this problem. otherwise its just going to keep right on growing and no body wants that.
@sirerba (51)
• Philippines
30 May 10
I guess it's time for you to face the truth that your boyfriend has changed his affection towards you. You need to accept the fact that he can't tell directly what he wanted to say to you and he's just trying to let you understand what he means by doing such thing in order for you to discover it by your own.
• United States
30 May 10
I know a lot of woman are in denial when signs are pointing to an affair. But,you know your man well. If you have to beg for a kiss and a hug you should not want it. he is having problems like anyone else. Your love life should not be one of them. I would follow him or find someone who would. Sounds like there is another love waiting around the corner. I have to say your lucky though. At least you know how he kisses. Tim has never kissed me and he is sleeping right now in my bed.
@ebuscat (5950)
• Philippines
30 May 10
For me it better to not touch you so that no friction to do in you both if you start to kissed after that you not content to kiss is much more that you want so better to not.
@dayle59 (152)
• Philippines
30 May 10
hi. ive been to 2 relationships that lasted for 4 and 5 years. there are actually times we feel that way especially when one gets busy with work. just make sure that he wont be busy with something else, if you know what i mean. but i hope and pray that wont ever happen. just be patient and be as loving as you are like you used to.
@cutelang (84)
• Philippines
30 May 10
lol perhaps you are sick.. perhaps you he have an illness that he does not want you be inflicted with.. perhaps he does not love you anymore... perhaps he has problem ... perhaps..perhaps.... why don't you talk to him kaya
@jinjer168 (1599)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Hello tickle_monster06! What you can do was to get back that old feeling again between you and your boyfriend. Try to set up a date out of town, arrange a romantic set up without him knowing it, sometimes its not just the guy who should make this move but ladies as well so your bf could feel how much you love him, even though that your relationship was going on for three years now. Three years was long enough for you to know his weaknesses so try to hit him with those so you could have the best date ever and from this, fire will surely add up in your relationship once more. Have a good talk, nice food, romantic night together with him. Never talk about problems let him know his shortcomings. Good luck!
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
30 May 10
Better marry him... Marriage could be a better answer to give permission to make love.. Ask him directly what was his problem? Though i'm young to answer this, but i'd like to make an entry.. If he is not satisfied with you, u should improve some of your personality and make him get attracted towards you..