have you been hurt that u wished you dont wanna feel anything?

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I have this feeling lately of being in a long distance relationship and more often than not i always feel lonely and sad...its like being on a time when you want to hold,kiss or even just touch someone but you cant..its really hard right?Me and my Boyfriend met online and after just a week of chatting he visited me here stayed here for 10days...then when he needs to go home (for work)thats hardest part because i know that he doesnt wanna leave yet...then just yesterday we had this copnversation that made us cry because we miss each other..then i hurt him by saying " i wish i didnt met you so we're not dealing this pain" and he's like" are u regretting the time that you met me" i said no but it'll be easier to love someone who can be beside me whenever i feel sad and lonely or whenever i miss him..we ended the conversation with me saying maybe we should sleep,lets talk about it next time. Honestly i am thinking of calling the relationship off...i dont wanna be unfair to both of us because i know if we'll stay in a relationship we're just stopping ourselves from finding the right one...then when one of us cant hold on to the relationship anymore then someone might cheat or something because we're far...so i really wish i dont feel anything so it'll be easier to decide...how bout you?dont wanna feel the pain too?or anyone there can share their stories and suggest something?