I am dating my brother's girlfriend's ex... And I need some serious advice??

United States
June 15, 2010 1:25pm CST
Okay so about 2 1/2 years ago my brother's gf left the guy I'm currently dating and then went and dated my brother. Well... fastforward to now and I met this guy a couple months ago and well, its a small world because I found out he used to date my bros gf. Anyways... he and I really hit it off. I like him a lot and he is a really great guy. He is over his ex (my bros gf) and has no issues with the situation. But my bros gf does. Right after I let her know he and I were dating she started telling me all the reasons she didnt like him and told me all the bad things hes ever done. And then she started losing sleep over everything. Which was funny because he and I were purposely not around when she was. She hadn't even had to see him at that point. And shes never been very nice to me so I know shes not losing sleep worrying about me. Anyways... so she knew he and I were dating and should have been preparing herself with the possibility that she may have to start seeing him. Well this one night he was leaving my house right as my brother and her were arriving. Both my bf and I were very polite, said hi and all of that stuff. But both of them were pissed and blatantly rude, his gf endedup slamming thigns around in his room she was so mad. And my brother yelled at me saying I crossed a line because god forbid they had to walk right passed each other. I think this is ridiculous. And now if my bro and his gf are at my house... I can't be if I'm with my bf... not even for like 10 minutes. I really am not trying to disregard her feelings... and I realize she has a right to them and that she doesn't have to like the situation. But she does need to suck it up and handle herself like an adult. Were all adults by the way. I mean, its been 2 years... and she dumped him. They were together for 3 years... and then she left him and about a month later went out with my brother. And has been with my brother for 2 years now. Shouldn't be at the stage where she no longer cares? Any advice please?...
5 responses
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
16 Jun 10
Don't have him over at your house, until you are married, and then live in your own apartment or house.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
12 Jul 10
well i think you are right she should be over it already. maybe is a strange situation but if she loves your bf now whats the big deal? did she want that her ex didnt find a girl ever? i dont know what she feels but you have the right to be with your bf anytime you want is not fair that when your brother and her are together at your house you cant be there with your bf. she should accept the situation im sure it was also strange for you to date the ex bf or your brother's gf but still you are with him and dont care for it. anyway dont worry about it and enjoy your relation^^ your brother's attitude i understand bcs he is jealous of that guy i guess bcs he knew they were ex and they were together for 3 years but her reaction? she shouldnt have had that reaction.
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
I don't see anything wrong dating your brother's gf's ex. I think he is already your bf, right? Well, 2 years had passed and I think the girl has moved on and same with your bf. The only problem is that your brother's gf got insecure with the idea that you are the present of her past. She is just making up a story with your brother for the latter to scold you. Of course, that is understandable, but as adults, she should have accepted the situation besides, you did not expect that you will fall for the guy. That's your house, so you should do what you want to do and bring whom you want to bring. Ignore her. She is just an immature and insecure girl. Or shall I say, "BITTER".
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
16 Jun 10
I think the first answer was an awesome one. You're right, you're all adults and it's time that she sucks it up and acts like one. While it's understandable that things may be a little awkward for everyone, slamming things around and pouting is just silly and ridiculous. Maybe part of her still isn't over him or maybe she's just immature and doesn't like getting her way. Either way it's been over two years and it's time to let it go and grow up. You did the right thing by telling her directly and it's not like you're shoving your relationship down her throat or purposely rubbing it in her face so it's completely her issue and not yours. I think you should tell your brother that if either of them has a problem then THEY can leave.
• United States
16 Jun 10
Too many things are working here. It is not your fault. There must be something that your boyfriend knows about her which if revealed will ruin her reputation. Otherwise, she has fear that the guy will brainwash you to believe she is horrible. Thus, she might be thinking that you would tell about this to your brother and ruin her relationship. Additionally, perhaps, she thinks of herself to be to good to be true for that guy. Maybe she thought he would ever end up with a good girl. But now that you are his girlfriend her wish has not been fulfilled and this is cause jealousy in her. I feel she is also brainwashing your brother to make you break up with the guy. Otherwise, instead of getting mad at you he would have been asking her as to what her problem was with you and your boyfriend. He would have been thinking twice about his relationship and wondering whether she really was not over him at all. I say keep away from the girl. As a matter of fact, don't discuss your relationship with your brother and his girlfriend. This won't give them a chance to say anything against you. Stay polite to show that your relationship won't hurt them.