The Continuing Adventures Of Tess
June 18, 2010 4:05am CST
another near week stint being hooked up to IV`s and tethered to a hospital bed. they think im finally on the mend for realZ this time.. but only time trial and error will really make that determination. theyve got me on steroids now.. and they seem to be doing what theyre sposed to. tapering me off by 5mg every week that ticks down for the next 8 weeks.. and every time i drop one of the pills.. i worry and wonder if imma wind up back sick again. but so far.. so good. steroids.. wonderful eeeevil little drug. i was told they might make my heart flutter a bit, make me a little jittery like ive had too much coffee er summat. was the only side affect that was really detailed to me.. and it didnt occur so i thought i was homefree. feh think again. lets take a woman whose inherant nature is rather.. how ya say.. agressive. im not a lay in the bathtub with lavendar oils and herbal teas to relaX sorta girl. i crank up some limp biZkit to rattle the windows and work the stress and tension off in violent wicked ways. or used to before i became an invalid.. and ive been rather pent up after a two year length of sickness and unable to really do a damned thing. and lets pump her full of drugs that induce more aggression, erratic behavior, and take away any controlled brain filters on that vile little mouth of hers and physical impulses and NOT inform her it might occur. it reaks of a recipe for major disaster.. i honestly thought the stress of everything had finally made me slip a gear. thats it.. tick tock tick tock CraZy`s CoMin!! lock me up in a soft little room in one of them fashionable blaZers with the shiny buckles and arms that tie round the back forcing you into a permanent state of self loving hugs. think they come in hot pink? maybe kiwi... i went completely insane. i couldnt understand why the nurses aid that looked at me oddly logically deserved the utmost brunt of wrath. it took all i had in me to not literally wrap my fingers around her throat and kill her. i spiraled downwards.. until my GI guy showed up and dragged me out of my room and down the hallway before i put my fists through the mirror and went through the plateglass window informing me that if i couldnt get a grip.. hed hafta strap me down. Sterling.. yes his name is actually Sterling.. and it suits him perfectly. a stellar individual worth his weight in platinum and a true Godsend in my life. he got me under control.. and explained i werent nuts.. i was experiencing the finer reactions of the medicine that was making me well. and immediately cut my dose in half to save the lives of the others around me .
2 people like this
20 Jun 10
Wow Tessah you have certainly been through the mill so to speak, I can't believe you have been so poorly and I really was glad to see the sunshine coming through again by the time I had done reading. It sounds like things are on the up for you, and I am really pleased to see it. The only time I have ever been near a steroid is when I went into premature labour with my daughter and had to have two shots of the stuff to stop it but I can't say that I ever reacted to it. I also have never been in a place that has been so dark I have not been able to see the light, things get cloudy from time to time, but I can usually find my way through to the light switch! Anyway great to hear you are doing ok and take care xxxx
• United States
19 Jun 10
Wow tess! You sure said a page full! I don't know that much about steroids, but when prescribed medically for certain ailments they are good. I don't know what your diagnosis is, am not a doc, but pretty well skilled in the medical field! I also worked as a Medical Secretary/Assisant, but have no Certification. I also would love to do what you and your daughter are doing! I took care of my elderly neighbors, two of them both with diabetes and they both lived in the same apartment! Unfortunately, both have now passed. They lived there consecutively. The peple who live there this time are young and not my "type" thank God! I can't go into that apartment again! But, I have been trying to think of some sort of business or something that I can do to make money and help people that need help. Since I am not really well myself I don't think I can take care of someone sickly at this point. I was thinking of tutoring English and giving Computer lessons. Wha do you thing about that?
18 Jun 10
Hi Tess, I was moved by your ramblings here, even if I missed the first part. Steroids or not, you write well. Your narration is introspective and brave. If I may suggest, send your writing to a magazine, or to Oprah. Keep your hopes and dreams alive. Your being a mother is your best asset.