Is it Love or Lust?

Philippines
June 19, 2010 11:55am CST
I am 25 years old and I have a 60years old boyfriend. I feel that he is so special for me and that i don't wanna lose him. We met 2 years ago on the internet, we have a long distance relationship. We met personally just this last April 23. Of course we did this and that, you know. We were so sweet when were together and i was so happy with him. I know that he loves me so much. Now, he came back to his hometown but we're chatting everyday and when i am talking with him i feel like i wanna touch him and kiss him again. I feel something arousing inside of me. I don't know what it is,. It is like I am craving for him. Is it what we called love? or Lust?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@Bhemzky (423)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Wow... Hmmm... I'm not really sure about it. I think its both love and lust. You love him right? Though there is a huge age gap you like him badly so that must have been love. Now, you are craving to kiss and touch him.. That may be lust. His a lucky guy to have you..
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Thanks for the response, I appreciate it but maybe I am the one who's lucky because he is so kind to me and that he loves me even more. I wish I have him here now beside me.
• China
20 Jun 10
I think a huge age gap is not a problem between you , if you love each other .But do you think about your family ? Do your parents will accept him ? This is a very important thing you have to deal if you wish go to the end . And I hope both of you can happy all the time !
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
I can fight for the sake of my love for him. No matter who they are and no matter what!
• Portugal
13 Jul 10
if you feel you dont wana lose him is bcs is not just lust^^ bcs if was lust you could find a guy younger than him right? so i think you really love him and i dont see nothing wrong in kiss him or more as long as you both love each other^^ anyway dont worry too much if you love him is all fine^^ wish you guys can be happy and that your wish comes true that you dont lose him and that you be happy together^^
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
thanks for the words that is so much comforting.
20 Jun 10
that's not the love,just the freshness and stimulate
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
hi leo, what do mean? can you please explain? thanks!
• Indonesia
20 Jun 10
hi tiffanymiro, quiet complicated i think. are you sure that he loves you?or just use you? there is a chance that you could be fall in love with him. some of my girl friend tell me that she likes older people because they were mature both in mind and attitude. they hope older mate could teach them.
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
thanks for the response aditiasovia. I think he really loves me, i feel it and he always tells me that. You said maybe he's just using me. Use me for what? Some of his relatives said that I am the one who's using him to get my green card.. But i told him that I am not interested of America. I asked him to marry me and live with me here in the Philippines. I wish i can do better to prove to his relatives that i am really inlove with him.
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
Love - Love, love, love.. See how you turn the world around.
Isn't it wonderful to see how love moves in such mysterious and surprising ways? I feel so happy for you because I know you're really in love and missing and wanting the person each day. I can imagine how thankful the guy to have found you. Relax sweetie, you're feeling and doing just fine. When you truly love someone, the attraction and the feeling of wanting to be touched and be close to that person is also there. Give lots of love and receive lots of love too! Stay happy!
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
so true! lets live and let live and love!!!
@meemingNEW (2228)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
As the old saying goes: "Age doesn't matter". It isn't in your case because you do love someone a lot older than you. I guess when you love someone, lust just comes naturally after that. You feel all the intimacy, the love you have for each other and your drive for pleasure. There's no better way of showing your affections than with the one you love. Best of luck to you both.
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Yeah, right. thanks a lot meemingNEW. So, you mean that it is only an affection or intimacy? how is it differ from lust?
@bibong (1)
22 Sep 10
I think what you feel is love. The feeling that you want be with the man means that you miss him. When you love someone you will accept and love everything about him even if negative or positive traits he has. A 60 years old's body far different from a25 year old man, I think what you love about him is who he is and not what he is.
• Philippines
27 Jun 10
i don't think this can be lust.. love? maybe but not 100% sure..
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
22 Jun 10
That's hard to say. What I do know is that very few relationships with such a wide age gap, have a good ending. But unfortunately, you have already allowed yourself to be emotionally connected to him, so you'll just have to see how it goes. I highly doubt you have the will power left to break this off and find a more suitable mate. Nothing personal.
@Bellapop (1281)
22 Jun 10
To be honest, when you're having these feelings or cravings...etc. I think it is definitely lust, but not necessarily just for him... you are 25 and at this time and age of your life your body is at its peak and is naturally calling out for reproduction...because as a woman, your natural biological response and purpose is to procreate, and hence you will feel these urges a lot, it's just your body's way of getting you to reproduce as soon as possible. If you met up with someone else who was just as attractive and appealing, I am sure you would still feel the same way. These feelings you have seem to be a craving for him, but probably only because he is the only one accessible to you, and if you go out and explore more, you don't have to do anything, just go to the shops, the mall, or the pub, and sit there and scan the room and look at the men who are a similar age to you, once you see someone who is physically attractive to you, you will definitely find that you will get the same feelings for others. Biological selection tries to get us to match up with the best possible genes, so right now, you are bound to get these cravings and feelings with possibly every attractive male you come across. The thing is to keep it under control and differentiate between these feelings whether they are definitely for this 60 year guy alone and that you're just having a short period of infactuation, we all have these infactuations from time to time with certain people, but once you get past that stage, ssveral months down the line you will find that you have start to feel attractive towards someone else. You must also logically think about this, yes, this 60 year guy is probably very attractive for his age, it's different with men, they can usually keep their appearances longer, but remember this is only appearances, it's his personality, his values, morals and actions that count. Logically, it is not really a viable romantic relationship with this sort of age gap, you could be very good friends but nothing more. It must be considered what this guy's motivations are - he is a mature adult and should know in his mind that even if he longs for and wants to, he should not dabble with 25 year old young woman, for him, if he wants to ask more of you, particularly the physical side of things, it would just be for his own self gratification. In his right mind, he should know that he would not really be able to offer you anything, a future, a proper man/wife relationship. So please, enjoy this feeling for him, in your mind only, use your imagination and keep everything that could happen within your imagination only. In reality, you should only be good, or at the very best, very good friends. He is very much your senior and so you have a lot to learn from him, and by all means there is nothing wrong with being good friends with this guy, but that is all, just very good friends. I hope this helps you, because I feel quite concerned. If you want to chat anymore, please just leave me a message. Bella
• India
20 Jun 10
there is nothing like love or lust, it is your perception, your attitude and your belief make difference. sometimes physical relation is important to express your feelings. Love or Lust is outcome of our feelings.
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
come to think of it for a while.you really love him?i think its only a lust inside of you.then you finish a aroused then its gone.think you love him that way until you get old enough?if really love him, why he back to his hometown?is that a love?
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
20 Jun 10
Hi, tiffanymiro , I think it will not be correct to judge whether it is love or lust with the little details you provided here. If both of you are very matured (in mind)and still need each other very much, then it can be love. Otherwise it must be lust. In general this big age difference relationship does not work well.But I hope yours a exception..
• United States
20 Jun 10
I am in a relationship with a man that is 22 years older than me. I have been in a relationship with him for 12 years now. He is manly and makes me feel safe and secure not mention a very sexy man. I can understand your feelings, but I would make sure that it is really love the way I figured it out was I could never be away from this man before I missed him and found I could not live without him in my life. The age think will be a problem at some time as now I am having a few issues with the age difference. I think time is the big question, how long have you been with this man? Where is the relationship going? Could you see yourself being his wife or longterm girlfriend? Is the answer to the questions are all yes, then good luck just make sure its not the lust guiding you but any relationship I have been in if there was not lust there was not love.
@juggerogre (1659)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
I think its both. Your age gap is a proof that what you feels is also love. I think the more proper word is miss. You are probably just missing him since you are together for only once. Just always be happy.
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
19 Jun 10
Hello, Tiffany, and welcome to MyLot. I think what you're feeling is definitely love. Lust usually goes away when the object of that lust is removed, but you feel special just hearing his voice, and that's love. I should know - I feel eactly how you do when my man speaks. Whether we're together or apart, I just want him with me. And age has nothing to do with it - it's the chemistry between you that matters. Obviously there's an element of lust in the attraction, but there's nothing wrong with that. I wish you joy with your lover, and I hope you're not apart for too long.
• India
19 Jun 10
This is very interesting you are 25 and you are in love who is 60 years old. Anyways love doesn't have ages differences, see you guys first met up things went on you started liking each other thats the part of love you did and you are still doing no worries in that, but after a way gap you started chatting with him and you feel sexually active thats ok cause lust is a part of love,, you guys didn't met up with lust but with love and then lust... So i think there is nothing wrong you are doin in it. its ok take care