should i take the initiative? or just wait for my honey to make the move?

Philippines
June 24, 2010 12:51am CST
hello my fellow mylotters! i always believe that a woman should speak her mind but then when it comes to relationship, i guess i am a little silent. You see, today is our 2nd year anniversary, my bf and I and aside from his early morning greetings, he hadn't discussed any plans for the day. i asked him what's the agenda for today and he just said, come what may. so, should initiate planning some form of celebration for tonight or should i just wait for him to make plans? what if he will not? then should we just spend our anniversary separately just because he's not that type? he's not that romantic, or so he says. i wanted this day to be memorable but should i wait for him to facilitate that or should i take the initiative?
11 responses
• Philippines
25 Jun 10
Hi deriellevc... why don't you take the initiative girl? As a girlfriend, you also have the right to speak out what's on your mind so that you will be happy too. You said that he's not that a romantic type a man...so if he's not, then BE THE ONE.. be sweet in him...take initiative girl, you want your anniversary to be memorable..? Then do something that will make your anniversary memorable in a nice and happy way. I hope I can help you a little. :) Happy Mylotting! ;p
• Philippines
26 Jun 10
hello mhekhies! thanks for the pep talk. i took the initiative and it turned out he had a surprise for me too. it was a memorable celebration and i appreciate all the help and advice i got from you and other fellow mylotters. thanks guys!
• Portugal
13 Jul 10
aww thats so nice derille^^ what was the surprise he had for you? that was sweet of him pretending he didnt know what to do and had a surprise for you ahah^^ men are smart too ahah^^
• Portugal
8 Jul 10
he loves you already so no problem in taking initiative. sometimes girls are afraid to take it when dont know if the boy likes them or not but he is your bf already so why not? just tell him the place you would like to go to and what you would like to do^^ is ok that you decide it you both are working in the relation^^ anyway wish you have a greatttt date with him^^ congratulations for your monthsary^^
@leo2050 (349)
• India
5 Jul 10
Hello deriellevc, i think you should take initiative, don't wait for your partner to come to you any discuss about it. I think in a relationship, its nothing like i or you, its only we. You have to understand this. It doesn't make any difference who starts first. The thing is, you both must live a happy life.
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
25 Jun 10
I think, at this matter, you better initiate and do the planning on how to celbrate your anniversary. As you mentioned, he is not that romantic, perhaps he does not have any plans at all. Besides, he though those greetings would be enough for you. I think, if you want to celebrate, then surprise him and make plans. Do not wait for him to initiate since you know him that much that he is not into it or not the type of guy who make plans. Go girl...Happy anniversary to both of you!
• Romania
25 Jun 10
I think you should take the initiative and organize something special. Even to by a gift and tell him: Make me think of you when I pass over that shop. After that you can see how relationship works.
• Philippines
25 Jun 10
It's time for you to take initiative. It doesn't that when you're a woman, you have to wait for your man to make surprises for you. Don't be old-fashion. It's time to open up your ideas or make surprises for your man to let him know how much you care for him. that's what i do with my husband since he's not that expressive, i am always the one who make the initiative. i think it's not wrong to be expressive. happy anniversary!
24 Jun 10
Hmm always a toughy! I think that if you are both sat thinking the same thing nothing is going to go anywhere so break the ice and go for it x! Good luck x
@Bellapop (1281)
24 Jun 10
Personally, I think think that to demonstrate sincerity and commitment that man should always be the one who takes the lead, for me, it is really his obligation to do so, if he sees himself as a man that is. In reality, it's very different, some men are lazy, forgetful, can't be bothered and I think that it's just a lame excuse and if a man can't be bothered, how can he expect others to respect him, his woman to submit to him? I know it sounds a bit old fashioned and of course, it's not up to the man on everything, but sometimes, things like anniversary's, you can really tell how he feels if by the way he's reacting. With a man, it's always been, if he cares enough he will definitely do something about it. I know because I have a brother and a dad, who will not do anything, not even if you kick them up the backside, but if it's something for his benefit, or something that he cares or is concerned about, he will automatically get off his backside and do something about it without you say, and even before the thought occurs in your mind... on the other hand, in your situation, either he is totoally not bothered, or he may be planning a urprise (!), definitely let him take the lead and see what happens, because if you wait to see what happens, you will get a very good idea of how your relationship is going...hope this helps :)
• Philippines
24 Jun 10
It's not bad to do your own sweetness and surprise for your boyfriend for your anniversary...maybe even if his not that romantic he'll appreciate it too and naturally his sweetness will come out naturally. When you want something to change it will start with in you. Go girl, and a lot of prayer for your relationship protection and preservation for your great future. Relationship should be founded with commitment, and love must be vocal and express it not proper to hide it but in the right way. God bless. Bring him some chocolates or flowers just do it with all your hearts and fill it with joy, give your best smile. Its not bad to express your feelings with little things.
• United States
24 Jun 10
take control of the situation. if hes not romantic then you need to be. but let him know that he has to be a bit more thoughtful. its your anniversary of god sake's. tell him to wake up. take control. be romantic. he needs to be the man of the relationship.
@udaymohan (437)
• India
24 Jun 10
You should take the initiative if he is not taking. Remember only one thing thatEGO destroys the relationship in love and marriage. Quite possible he might have some plan which he wanted to disclose at appropriate time to give you a surprise. Simply do your duties so that both of you enjoy every moment of everyday.