July 3, 2010 11:23am CST
Hi all.. I have a 7 year old son.. A few months back (when my son was 6 at the time) my son's dad wanted him to stay the night at his house.. This wasn't a problem but he came round to collect my son and told me what films he planned to watch with my son.. I couldn't believe it when he said he was wanting him to watch a Quentin Tarentino film which was an 18 cert film.. after a bit of an argument, he agreed he wouldn't let him see it. So the next day my son came home and said his dad had let him see a bit of it and also watched something on tv that wasn't very suitable for kids. Apparently my son asked him to change it over but his dad did'nt listen. If i had my way i wouldn't let him see his dad at all.. but my son does love his dad.. i have no idea why as he has never been there for him. I have said from now on that my son wouldn't be allowed to stay the night with him any more until he is older..and now to my son's other family.. i am made to be the bad one. My son's dad doesn't make much effort to see my son a lot.. i know if it wasn't for his mum and dad and sisters getting on at him, he wouldn't bother at all. I really do hate the guy.. Am i over reacting tho? What is wrong with sitting down and watching family films with your parents? am i old fashioned? kids at my sons school are allowed to see south park and family guy but i just think its wrong! He has plenty time to see blood and guts as he gets older.. i love my horrors.. And he probably will too.. when he is nearer the age he is legally allowed to see them! Let me know if you all agree or disagree... thanks x
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jul 10
This is tough to answer because most of the information you are giving is that you do not like the movies that he is letting your son watch. While I agree with you on the movie selection, there is not much you can do about it other than try to talk more with your ex about it. If you restrict visitation over movies and his father were to ever take you to court, there is a good chance he would end up with a lot more visitation than he is getting now. The courts WILL not look kindly on you. This isn't to sound rude, but you were the one that got pregnant by him. Whether or not he was smart enough to be a parent is something that you should have thought of before laying down with him. I'm just as guilty though. Been there - done that. However, I see that now. Even though my ex does things I do not approve of does not mean that I can restrict their visits (unless the kid is in SERIOUS danger). Maybe your ex doesn't like the way you do something with your son - would that give him the right to try to remove your time with your son? of course not - but that is what you are doing with him. If you can't get through to the father, now is a great time to teach your son the difference between house rules and why you have the rules you have. After all, when your son turns 16 and is staying the night at his dads, he might be out driving around past midnight, when maybe in your home you will have a 10pm curfew rule. This will happen and it is something that you have to accept if you two can't come together on the rules. I think that more men and women really need to think about this stuff. If we all want to raise the kids on our own - without any one else having a difference of opinion or a different view point on how to raise the kid - sperm donors are always available for a fee. However, people come to together - make a kid and then when one parent has different rules for the kid- suddenly, that parent should no longer be allowed?
4 Jul 10
You and your ex should talk about this kind of stuff. You are the mother of the child, and you have much say than him. Tell him to be a responsible parent. If I where you, I would ask him to go to the movie regulatory board and ask them what's the 18 cert. film is! That was very irresponsible. But whether or not his father really cares about him or how irresponsible he is with his son, he has the rights to see his child. (that's really unfortunate of you... I'm really sorry) I just want to share, this is so funny, I remembered when me and my sister were young my dad and mom used to cover our eyes when there was this kissing scene on the TV. They are so conservative, but the never know that their hands made their way up to our eyes so late that I could see the initial kissing part. lol! but as a child, I was thinking.. whats wrong with that?! they just love each other.. mom and dad use to kiss (smack) too! so, just think about this Quentin Tarentino film... you're child might think... oh that's cool... blood squirting all over the place, people slashing people... that's really scary right? You as a mom has the right to feel this way. it's for your child best. you are not being paranoid, you where just concerned. Children these days are very intelligent they could catch thing up easily, and could easily mimic a grown up person. As a hands on mother, you tend to protect of your child with these kind of situations.
• United States
3 Jul 10
I agree with you 100 percent, and to heck with the other family! He should be watching movies which are appropriate for his age, 7! As you said, there is enough blood and guts to watch when he's older, no need for that at all now. He can watch the news and see all that. Maybe you could buy some movies for him to take, or make a list of movies that he would be allowed to view with your ex. It sounds like he wants his son rough and tough, but he's just a little boy and needs to be treated like one yet. I love horror movies too! They're so much fun!