I need love advice

United States
November 16, 2006 10:47pm CST
Wow, hope you guys are ready for a story! I recently split with my first love of 3 years, and father to my son about 5 months ago now. We were together for 3 years, lived together, were engaged to get married, then sadly we just kind of fell out of the relationship. My son and I now live by ourselves and he has a new girlfriend he has been with for 3 months. He has come to me a couple times now saying how he misses us and thinks of me all the time. he even goes as far to say as hes just uses this new girlfriend because hes lonely! Lately though we've been getting into major fights and I dont know if his fealings still are there and he wont talk to me about it. We are going to spend Thanksgiving weekend together which is also his birthday. I was wondering if any of you have suggestions on how I can " win him back" during his visit?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
2 Dec 06
Sounds to me like he wants his cake and eats it too. Don't wait for him, he has had plenty of time to come home basically. If he misses you and your son so much, he would drop the girlfriend and come back. Show him that you are too important to play a waiting game and don't give in to him.
@ladysun (636)
• United States
17 Nov 06
If he has so little respect for you, as well as the new girlfriend, that he will play you both (and I assure you that IS what he is doing)...maybe it's best to let him go. He is your first love and will always have a special place in your heart but if he can live with this other woman and still tell you how much he misses you etc.. (and you can bet that's NOT what he is telling her about you) you need to cut your losses and move on with your life.
@dodododo3 (375)
• India
17 Nov 06
it is not a good idea to win back him...try to forget the illfate and thinks about the good time u spent with him.it will give u more relaxation.
@meeoww (1174)
• United States
17 Nov 06
Don't worry about "winning". Worry about your son having a respectful father. Clear up whatever it is that you're fighting about, and make it known that he has to earn your trust and devotion, nevertheless, that you expect that he will make a good effort for the child that you two brought into this world. Let him know that you will work with him on that no matter what the situation is between the two of you. Your son should be the priority for both of you, and that may naturally bring the two of you closer together. Best wishes and prayers for you. Aloha!
@briennekb (613)
• United States
17 Nov 06
I am a firm believer in "If it is meant to be, it will happen." I wouldn't do anything different than what you are doing right now. Just be yourself. Not to mention, since he knows you so well, he would see right through you if you were acting different. As far as the fighting, I guess it depends on what you're fighting about. If it's bitter fighting, it probably won't work out. But if it's silly fighting, you can definitely work it out. Communication is the key. Over your weekend, I would find some way to get him to talk to you about what you've been fighting about. And even though it can be hard, keep yourself as calm as possible. Remind him about all the things he loves about you and your son. He'll come around.