she kissed my boyfriend...
By p3ks626
@p3ks626 (6538)
Philippines
July 12, 2010 4:06am CST
This didnt happen to me actually but it happened to my sister-in-law. She has a boyfriend whom she's with for more than 3 years now and they have been to a lot of ups and downs. There's another girl who seem to like her boyfriend and she seems to be doing everything she could to get him. I was so shocked when we find out that the girl went to my sister in law's boyfriend's place and they went out on a date and kissed.
When my sister in law confronted her boyfriend about this and about to break up with him, the boyfriend didnt want to and he said he loved my sister in law. He said that the girl was the only one who wanted that but if that's the case, why did he let it happen? And why would he go out on a date with her when in fact he already have a boyfriend?
If you were in this situation, what would you do? Do you think its just right to break up with him or give him another chance?
2 people like this
24 responses
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 10
*sigh....unfortunately that's what some guys do when they don't think a situation all the way through. they should be using their big head, not the little one to do the thinking 
and once a guy has tried it, he remembers how it feels like. and it might excite him enough to try it again. so whoever is thinking about continuing the relationship should really take that into consideration too...
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 10
well...boys are like that at times. and they do learn and understand things as they mature...
unfortunately, not all boys mature enough when they're supposed to. so it's up to the ladies to make sure that they do choose the ones that are as mature as possible to their liking 
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
13 Jul 10
They are not married. As long as they are not married, she should not expect him to act like he is married.
You are either married, or you are not married.
What would I do? I'd break it off, and next time I find a good guy, I'd marry him and have a real relationship.
No pretend. No 'playing house'. No living together before marriage. None of that. If you are going to have something real, do it.
If not, then get used to him checking out other girls. An unmarried guy, checks out girls. That's what they do.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
14 Jul 10
Well you can say that, but regardless people are not loyal to "partners". Maybe they should be. Ok, they should be. Fact is they are not.
I would advise everyone to not basis their choices in life on what ought to happen, or should happen, but rather on how life really is.
Fact is, out of every time of relationship, living unmarried with a 'partner' instead of a husband and wife, is the second worst possible relationship to have as far as life span (time length of relationship), and fidelity (being faithful to a single other person).
The only way to end up with worse odds of success, is to be homosexual.
So, you can say they should be loyal, and it shouldn't be an excuse. If you play those odds, chances are you'll lose, and end up bitter and angry at an un-loyal boyfriend.
Look at it another way... why do you think men don't want to get married? What's the main reason? As a man, that has talked to many men, I'll tell you what reason they have.
They don't want to be tied down. That's what they tell me. They don't want to be stuck to just one girl. Hey, just telling you what I've heard.
Guess what kind of men want to be faithful to a single girl? The married kind. That's why they get married. They don't mind being exclusive to one women.
So you can say they should be loyal, but the reason they are not married is specifically so they don't have to be loyal. Specifically so they can run around with other women.
But you have to make up your own mind. If your deal is working for you, go for it. Good luck.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
Whether you are married or not, you should be loyal to your partner. If they are not married, then it shouldnt be an excuse to be loyal or not. A couple should already practice loyalty in their relationship before marriage that's really important when you are already married.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
13 Jul 10
Unfortunately, he will probably do it again if she puts up with it. Once they get away with it, it usually will happen again. I don't think I could give him another chance, basically because I would not be able trust him and that does not make a good relationship.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
Me too. I dont think i could still give him another chance. For me, once is enough. It says a lot already and there's no reason to stay in a relationship especially if you already have the idea that there's going to be dishonesty and infidelity in your relationship.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
12 Jul 10
Hi,
This situation, where three people are involved in one relationship, seems to be the norm in our society. I think, if I were your sister-in-law, I would take a break and give the boyfriend some space to let him decide what or whom he wants in his life/bed. In the meantime I would get myself together and not go out acting like a foolish woman. It seems as if the relationship was on a rocky road before this lady, for lack of a better word, came into the picture. Therefore, if the boyfriend choose to vacate the relationship, the sister-in-law can hold her head up high and feel sorry for the "winner." She will be the next to be dumped, he did it once he will probably do it again.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
14 Jul 10
Hi,
Sometime regret for your action is real. Only the wounded person need to decide whether to give the cheater another chance or not. For me it would be a NOT. Cheating is soooo unnecessary,and life is too short to live with trust.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
You are right about that. I think it would be foolish to stay in that relationship when you already know for the fact that something like her situation happened. She actually told the guy she was going to decide for him so he wont have a hard time anymore but the guy said he doesnt want to be with that girl she kissed. hmmmm!
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
Do you know what they say about men? Men are naturally weak and don't think at all. Sometimes they are just concern about their machismo and that thing between their legs.:-)
Though they may appear to be so in love with another girl but when a desirable enough lady approaches them they just can't stand the temptation. For them, it is just nothing and at the end of the day, they know who they want to be with.Pathetic men...:-)
I'd say, she must give the kid another chance but only this time set some rules and that is to avoid that other girl. Even if it's nothing for her bf, someone who is so persistent can be something later. Big trouble if he keeps on tempting fate.:-)
Goodluck.:-)
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
Well, the truth hurts.but some times, i wonder why men are so weak, what makes them weak all the time. even if the person is educated, strong and doesn't have physical disabilities, they turned weak when it comes to temptations, what makes "the thing between their legs" so strong that they are willing to hide it or risk getting busted at. i kept asking that myself, hoping for a solution.@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
Some men could be so lame. I also think they are weak just like you said. They only think of what is convenient for them but if its not then they dont think about their partner. I wonder why men have that kind of mentality. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they think like boys.
@rose0822 (123)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
that's exactly the point why that boyfriend had a date on that girl if in the first place he knows that,that girl likes him.
he should avoid that girl..
but if your sister really loves him she will give him a second chance.
but that guy needs to prove how sorry he his for doing that.
and how much he really love your sister.
1 is enough..
2 is too much...
:D
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
He should have done that in the first place cause entertaining the girl would mean he is giving in to temptations which really happened. I just dont understand him cause he already knows that my sister in law doesnt want him meeting with that girl but he still do it.
Anyway, if I were in her situation I think I wont be able to give second chances anymore. He did it once meaning he can do it again.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
I only see one good reason why is this guy keep doing it, he is confident that no matter what he do your sister in law will forgive meaning she can easily caress her and ask for forgiveness even it took a hundred. He already proved it so believe me your sister in law cannot dump him easily because she is totally attached with that guy.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
that's really sad.
things happen when they think it's not enough. i guess that's one big reason why i remain single. i don't want to be alone, but i don't want to be one of those guys who wants more and then ask for forgiveness when i get busted. it gives me a short analysis but i maybe weak like all the others, which is sad.
as for my response to this discussion. one more chance but he needs to court her again like what he did before she answered him yes in the early years.courtship is very important. @p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
They said there are lots of reasons why being single is such a good thing. My sister has been single for a long time but she also said she doesnt want to be alone that's why she has boyfriend now and they are planning to get married. But I guess there are going to be lots of changes in their relationship especially after marriage. We just cant expect a lot or less we end up disappointed.
@teenymarie (107)
• United States
13 Jul 10
Speaking from experience, she should break up with him. I used to be notorious for giving everyone second chances, but I got burned way too many times with that.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
It is a lesson she should learn from. If she will give another chance, she's also giving the guy another chance for the guy to do the same thing again to her. I just dont believe that this will not happen anymore cause he did it once, he can do it again.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I am not exactly sure what the problems are but they have been together for more than 3 years but they dont get to be with each other most of the time cause its a long distance relationship that they have. I think that's problem, not being together for most of the time.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
13 Jul 10
If I were in the situation like your sister in law, I would also ask the girl what she wanted to do by going on a date with my boy friend. If the girl loves him, then I would break my ties with my boyfriend and ask him to love the girl instead, considering our relationship always in the ups and downs anyway.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
The girl wanted to go out on a date with the guy because she is interested in him. The guy knows that she in interested in him but he let her make plans on their date. They were going out on a date many times already they're saying that they dont have anything. But it turned out the girl was successful because the guy let him.
@romartinez03 (94)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
As a girl, I know how difficult it is to broke up with the person you love so much. In addition to that, they have been together for long but I think what happened would be enough for her to broke with him. Letting this issue pass away so fast or if she forgive him easily would give the guy the idea that the girl can't live without him.
@stephanie_jenny (5)
• China
13 Jul 10
The answer is clear that is break up with him.
It must have 2nd or 3rd time for the man to go outside and has a date with the girl.
It means no cat doesn't like eat fish in the world.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
Definitely not the second or third time they went out together, they've been going out together for many times already. My sister in law knows about that fact but the guy always told her that there's nothing between him and the other girl. But of course, the other girl is going to do whatever she wants to get him and yes she was successful.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
That's the immediate reaction my sister in law had but I think they've talked about it already just to save the relationship but is not really a very good idea for me. I dont think men like that deserve a second chance. They should feel sorry about what they did and pay for it.
@ip5217 (1655)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
This is a very hard question. Men will be men, if there's temptation it would normally be hard for them to resist; however, if the guy really values the relationship, he would decline this other woman's invitation.
Nevertheless, I will still give him a chance- like a one-time courtesy. If it happens again, he knows what's next in line.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
That is a very lame excuse for men to have that they are just men and they will find it hard to resist temptation. I am a woman and if I am going to tell my man that I am just like this and I just cant resist temptation then I dont think he would like it. Men should know how to think if these things are done to them then how would they feel. There's no excuse whether you are a man or a woman.
@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I also dont see the point why the guy went out on a date with that girl knowing that she likes him. I wont believe if he did that out of respect for that girl since she seemed like throwing herself to him. because if he did it just to not make that girl feel bad, then he just forgot that by doing that, he actually made his girlfriend feel worse. he should have known that he may hurt is girlfriend by going out with that girl. The girl on the other hand should have respected the girlfriend and drew the line.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
They're claiming that they are just friends and that the girl's brother was the close friend of the guy so they were just going out as friends. But he knows that the girl likes her and maybe its okay if they went out just one time but many times is already not an excuse.
The girl doesnt have that in her vocabulary to respect the girlfriend. She's into getting him and she was successful. It was just the guy's fault for giving in to what the girl wanted.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
12 Jul 10
Well interesting guy. This guy wants to have his own cake and eat it also. He's not satisfies with once slice i guess. He sure does seem good though. I really doubt if he is worthy for getting the second chance. I would have dumped him. But if your sister in law really loves him then she would give him all the chances she can. He clearly has a lot of work to do in your relationship. He has to show how much you both like each other. He has to show how much he really values his love here. 
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I doubt it too. But I dont think he deserves a second chance thinking that he was already told even before to stop going out with that girl but he kept on insisting that they were just friends and they dont have anything going around. Its just unfair if he is given a second chance.
@blou020714 (163)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
hmm, that sounds awful. i feel sorry for your sister in law.
well in my opinion even if things doesn't go right or even if she has decided to break up, it would still be better if they both talk about it so that your sister in law will know the reasons why he does that and to know whatever problem there is in their relationship. it may not end in good but at least there is a clarrification to all of it. its still up to your sister in law if she wants to go on and risk another chance again. she better think a lot about it since she is the one who knows that person very well.
=)
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
You are right about that. But I dont know if talking would do them any good now since my sister is already mad. Even if she is going to say she is okay, I know she still fell upset about what happened. If I were her, I think I wouldnt give second chances anymore.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
12 Jul 10
I never pass through this but I wouldn't forgive. This type of person is the type who does things like this and your sister in law must expect more coming if she is to stay with him.
Everyone has a nature, mostly of people can't change. The thing is not to ask about him but if she is okay to pass through this her whole life, it's a long time I know, 3 years is like a time we think we must get married with someone then, but is she willing to pass through this for like 20 years? 10? Is that okay to her? That's the right question I think.
If she is okay, that's a reason to give another chance then.
The second question she must ask her self: is she okay to be suspicious for the rest of her life, whenever he comes back late? Whenever he goes to a trip of a week? Is she okay with her in the future, to see he talking smiling a lot to a strange woman? Won't she be thinking bad things and suffering? So maybe 3 years is not that much.
I don't know why girls do that, but the thing is she must ask all questions to her self, don't do nothing for him or because of him, but because of her.
A man that doesn't make a woman happy can kill her. Lack of trusting can never make a woman happy or a relationship works.
Hope she be happy. Cheers.
What a terrible happening.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I am not sure if she's okay cause she's trying to show people that she is okay but I know her, she's not okay. I think she is just pretending to be okay. But there's a possibility that she will give another chance cause he's the only guy she had a relationship with for that long.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
It's a man natures to take advantage of every opportunity, if he can have two girls at the same time, why not? this is on this man's head because he has an excuse for this the girl insist that would always be his reason and escape and I think it would be the other girls problem and not your sister in law's boyfriend. If I were your sister in law I let him go.
